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Read this and listen to the clips. There's a clip of the Harleys telling to expose to children as young as four. Exposing to Children
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2014
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Husband was coming around and being honest then. He was PISSED at me for telling her husband. Said that I hurt him for no reason because the OW didn't kick him out bc of the affair. Sure... that's why her Facebook picture was of her wedding day until my husband moved in.
I've exposed everywhere I can. Her husband is no help at all. Anytime I talk to him he tattles and that just makes more bad feelings between my husband and I.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Children that are just handed over to adultery learn to doubt their instincts about right and wrong. As a child I was exposed to my fathers affair and since my mother said nothing, I just concluded I must be stupid beucase what seemed wrong to me was obviously right to the adults around me.
Your son needs your protection. GEt it put in your custody papers that he is NEVER exposed to his dad's adultery.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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We tried that. In California he'd still get at least 30% of my son's time with the OW if his dad was a methhead. It just sucks here. I've tried everything in that regard.
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Husband was coming around and being honest then. He was PISSED at me for telling her husband. Said that I hurt him for no reason because the OW didn't kick him out bc of the affair. Sure... that's why her Facebook picture was of her wedding day until my husband moved in.
I've exposed everywhere I can. Her husband is no help at all. Anytime I talk to him he tattles and that just makes more bad feelings between my husband and I. That is great. I would continue to speak to him and keep him informed. That is a good thing that he told his wife because it sounds like the cheaters didn't like that. You and the OWH can be great allies. I've exposed everywhere I can. Her parents?? Her family?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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We tried that. In California he'd still get at least 30% of my son's time with the OW if his dad was a methhead. It just sucks here. I've tried everything in that regard. The attorney should get this added to your custody papers. NEVER should he be exposed to the affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My husband has met her family and spent the weekend with them. They are of no help.
Now my husband's family is on my side but coddling him so they're no help either.
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We tried that. In California he'd still get at least 30% of my son's time with the OW if his dad was a methhead. It just sucks here. I've tried everything in that regard. The attorney should get this added to your custody papers. NEVER should he be exposed to the affair. P.s. we have had this done in almost every state in the union. It is not difficult when you put a fire under your lawyers *** and tell him to make it happen.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My husband has met her family and spent the weekend with them. They are of no help.
Now my husband's family is on my side but coddling him so they're no help either. Once again, you need to expose the affair to her parents. We already know they have met him. But they don't know the facts. They only know the lies told to them by 2 liars. WE can't help you if you are going to ignore and dismiss all the advice.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I will email her parents.
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I would also post the OW's photo and the story of the affair on sheshomewrecker.com and cheaterville.com. Make sure you spread the links around to everyone.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Will do.
Now that you've heard the story what are the chances of WS coming home? He legit just now shared a link from my FB to his. I feel like he's thinking about me. It's not something he would normally share.
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Will do.
Now that you've heard the story what are the chances of WS coming home? He legit just now shared a link from my FB to his. I feel like he's thinking about me. It's not something he would normally share. There is about a 50/50 chance if you do a bang up exposure, which is why I recommended you contact her parents and post her photo on cheating websites. I would email those links to as many people as possible in her sphere of influence - hopefully to her work peers. Part of the reason the affair has gone on so long is because of the secrecy. The facebook link he sent you above is meaningless, I am sorry to say. That should not give you any hope. I would make plans to go into a very dark Plan B in the next few days but it is important you get all your ducks in a row. Do you have the book Survivng an Affair? Do you know about the Plan B letter, intermediary, etc?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Exposure is your most potent weapon. The more you expose the faster the affair will die.
Do you have a picture of the OW?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes I have pictures of the OW. I think I have Surviving the Affair. If you have a link to a full plan B plan I'd love to see it.
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Yes I have pictures of the OW. I think I have Surviving the Affair. If you have a link to a full plan B plan I'd love to see it. Make sure you have the new one that came out last year. It has some very critical updates in it. You can download it on an ebook from amazon.com. You will want to read Chapter 6. In the meantime, you can start writing your letter and lining up an intermediary. Do oyu have someone who will agree to act as a spam filter and only pass on pertinent information in her own words about finances and visitation? She would have to agree to present a neutral front. Read this thread: How to Plan B Correctly And here is the letter from Surviving an Affair - I would add a sentence about visitation.. Sample Plan B letter, from SAA (revised edition) pages 77-78:
My Dearest __________,
I apologize to you for my part in creating an environment that helped make your affair possible. I foolishly pursued my goals without understanding my responsibility to meet your most important emotional needs. I was not there for you when you needed me the most and we are now both suffering for my mistake. [Add your willingness to address other complaints that the unfaithful spouse may have communicated prior to the affair.]
I am willing to avoid the mistakes I've made in the past and create a new life for both of us that will meet your needs. But I cannot do that until you end your relationship once and for all. Living with you under these conditions has been the most painful experience of my life, and I can no longer endure it.
Until your affair ends, and you are willing to follow a plan of reconciliation with me, I will avoid seeing you or talking to you. Our friends, ________, have agreed to help make arrangements for you to see our children on schedule that is mutually convenient. They will provide transportation. If you want to communicate about the children or any other matter, it will have to be through them.
I will insist that our son not be exposed to your affair partner.
I ask that you respect my decision to separate from you th is way. You must know about the suffering I have endured because of your relationship, and I simply cannot be with you any longer knowing that you are together. I still love you but I cannot see you under these conditions.
As soon as you are willing to permanently end your relationship, follow precautions to avoid absolutely any contact with the other person, and join me in a plan to restore our relationship, I will be wiling to discuss our future together with you.
I hope that we will be able to rebuild our marriage some day. I want us to be able to meet each other's emotional needs and to avoid doing anything to hurt each other. We can build a new lifestyle together in which everything we do makes us both happy. Then there will never be a reason for us to be separated. I want to be your best friend, someone who is always there for you when you need me. And I want you to be my best friend.
I cared for you when we married and I continue to care for you right up to this day. But I cannot be with you or help you as long as you are in this relationship.
With all my love,
(signed)
This letter should be delivered by your friends to the unfaithful spouse, and a copy sent to the lover with a note at the bottom saying:
I love ______ with all my heart and am willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. I will wait for that chance.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 16
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