So what do you have in mind?

I fear you are pretty much at the mercy of the legal system - I don't see any hope of persuading her of anything or negotiating with her.

That said, and having been a kid stuck at the mercy of the legal system myself years ago, I do believe God works things together for good, and I will keep your children in my prayers, Jedi.

The age requirement for Google accounts is 13 years old, so if it is in your children's name you can report it as a violation of Google standards. If her name is on it there is not much you can do

I will send a letter to Google with a copy of my court order and documentation that my kids are minors.
At this point, it appears to be all that I can do.
This isn't a major issue of concern for me, but it is important.

Last weekend, I found out that DS11 has been lying to me about doing his homework.
None of it has been done.
I confronted him and he admitted to lying.

Today, he said he felt too sick to go to school.
So, he stayed home while I was at work and was told to finish his homework.
He said he worked on it all day, yet I checked the computer history and he spent the whole day on Youtube.

More troubling is what he watched on youtube, videos with titles such as:
nood 10 year old
nood girls
boobys

Now, as for school, I am meeting with the principal tomorrow morning to tell her what I am doing and asking for any suggestions, making sure we are on the same team.

As for the internet, I am removing the laptop from the living room.

Any suggestions or thoughts?

Jedi, I know that stuff is disturbing but it is normal for kids to be curious. Maybe you can put some parental controls on the computer, so they can still play games and stuff?

I make my DD9 do her homework as soon as she gets home from school, and she cannot do anything else besides eat dinner until I have seen it and it is correct. I am assuming that he needs his computer for the homework? If not I would take it away until homework is complete. Make that the incentive for doing the right thing.

Have you had the "talk" with DS11?

I would hazard that it's pretty normal...they just now have the technology that we lacked at that age.

Our nine year old was doing similar searches via an ipod--with the same (mis)spellings actually--so we talked to him about it and removed the internet function from it. He is allowed to use a laptop when we are around. No internet in his room, for instance.

But you might have the talk to him about sex and internet pornography if you haven't done so already.

That's what we do as well. It keeps them on a schedule and gets the homework done and out of the way as soon as possible.

In additional to parental controls, you might consider completely turning off internet access when your children are home alone.

It won't be too many years, though, till they can get their own phones and access the internet that way. So there's got to be more than that.

Recognize that it won't be long until you can't stop your son from viewing what he chooses to view, and talk to him frequently about what principles you believe he should use to make those decisions.

Nude pictures of minors are illegal pretty much everywhere and can get YOU in an insane amount of trouble if your equipment is being used to view it. Make sure he knows this. Monitor what the internet access you pay for is used for, and let him know when you are aware he is accessing material you don't approve of. Cut it off technologically as much as possible, but recognize that at his age if he puts his mind to it, he can probably stay one step ahead of you technologically.

I did look at the youtube he viewed and none of it was nudity.
But he clearly searched for it on youtube.

Okay, I took my girls to a girl scout meeting and he was a lone for an hour...supposedly doing homework.
well, no homework was done. he lied and said he did it, then lost it.
I looked at the internet browsing history and it was all youtube videos.
Fortunately, youtube does a good job of policing their videos.
Most of the time was spent watching minecraft videos, the rest was "boob girl" etc videos.
So, I confronted him about the missing homework and he got mad and said "Fine, never trust me then!"
I then asked him to come to the computer and I said, this is a list of all the computer time and videos watched while we were gone and I pointed to them all. I then said, 'You were on the computer the whole time and lied to me about the homework."

His demeanor quickly changed at that moment.
I didn't discuss the youtube videos, but pointed at them.
I will tell him tomorrow: "If you have questions about sex please ask me and do not try to find the answers on the computer or youtube." I didn't do it tonight...instead I said "Stop lying to me."

For what its worth, I have done sex ed with all of my kids.

Jedi, I understand why you said that, but if you had questions at 10, would you ask your parents? Or try to find the answer on your own?

I know there are things you can do to protect your kids. And it's great you are doing them. But as a mom with one out of the house, let me tell you they find ways around it. And you know my daughter chose to move in with her Dad at 18 until she went away to school. They resented my logging and monitoring and all that. Not saying it was a good answer or not for these kids. But just saying there is a lot to weigh there, short and long term. And what is the right answer at 10 may change as he gets older.

My suggestion would be this: when your children have homework or chores that must be accomplished and you know already that the computer is a temptation, why not password protect the computer and simply remove the temptation?

Even if your son was not trying to view objectionable videos, but just doing harmless little things on the computer, he'll have one less temptation to deal with when he's on his own.

If he has homework that has to be done on the computer, it can be done while you're near.

We didn't have to deal with this when my daughter was young, but that's how we plan to handle computer use when our grandkids visit.

Yes, I have taught basic sex ed to all of my kids.
I used Christian resources for the books; "Sex: What's It All About?" and "All About You", and "Before I Was Born"

I did install a parental internet control called K9.

In the meantime, DS is very upset that he doesn't have an Iphone or IPAD! He thinks he is seriously deprived and complains constantly of not having a smartphone or television (in his room).

My kids have dumb phones (with texting - they are 14 and 16 now). Both of them saved money to buy their own ipods - for music and some apps. Most of their friends have a smartphone of some kind, but mine get along just fine with what they have. Neither have tv's in their room either - and won't.

Jedi,

Eblaster allows you to block specific sites on computers. When I caught DS14 being curious a year ago, I blocked google on his account (he was going to google images). You can block youtube and let him "earn it" back.

Secondly, it's great you are catching early that his curiosity to the gateway drug to porn (nude images) is interfering with his responsibilities. That is a first symptom of addictive behavior, so great you are on top of it.

Thirdly, your modem should be able to restrict activities on the wireless between certain hours. This could allow you to limit the amount of time which internet is available. I am considering doing that for DS14,DD15 and DD16. I don't know how easy it is to do the settings on a quick one-off basis, i.e. when he is supposed to be doing homework, but it is very easy to block/unblock sites in eblaster (not quite the same but might be a quasi-ok workaround). Not sure if eblaster allows entire internet block or not.

I strongly recommend teensafe for kids' phones, but you have to disallow them to use the social apps that are not monitored by teensafe or else you miss everything. Eblaster only monitors text and saved pictures on phones, so not as useful, but teensafe doesn't monitor saved pictures. I had a daughter getting into risky behaviors so her phone has both of those apps monitoring it.

I think smart phones are way better than dumb phones if you want to monitor their activity. You just need to not allow kik and snapchat on them; limit them to texts, instagram and FB (all of which teensafe monitors).

edited to add: Am also a huge fan of location apps, such as findmyphone or life 360 for kids' phones. It really is great to know they are where they are safe & supposed to be. If they are running late, it's great to not worry they are in an accident because you can see the car advancing down the road towards home.

You can turn off the Safari on an ipod so that they cannot even open it and the icon is turned off, leaving the rest intact.

That is what we did with our oldest.

Well, I decided to take the time I have to enroll in college full time.
I am working part time and that pays the basic bills.
The college is actually more than full time...I'm taking a semesters worth of credits in half a semester time and I have been WORN OUT!

But...I've also been very happy. I very much enjoy the challenges of being overworked.

I've also been busy building raised garden beds for next spring, using free mulch, wood chips and chopped leaves from the county.

My biggest daily challenge is keeping up on the housekeeping between school, work, cooking dinner etc.

I asked a couple women for phone numbers last week but got turned down. I'll keep asking though.

Would you consider online dating?

You would have a lot of interests and info like your college and gardening to put on your profile!

What course are you studying?