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You can respond that
Yes, your affair hurts the kids and me. We have all been punished by it.
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He just texted again saying:
"What do you get out of punishing me this way? It hurts me. It hurts the kids. And it hurts you. Why? I just want to know?" "just know that I love you and would never punish you. All my love, SFL"
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"just know that I love you and would never punish you. All my love, SFL" Should I respond with both "Yes, your affair hurts the kids and me. We have all been punished by it." AND Just know that I love you and would never punish you. All my love, SFL"?
BS
2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD
Divorced since 12/11/15
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Sorry- I'm just now to the point where I'm going to do EXACTLY what you guys say ha. Just want to get it right. 
BS
2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD
Divorced since 12/11/15
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"just know that I love you and would never punish you. All my love, SFL" Should I respond with both "Yes, your affair hurts the kids and me. We have all been punished by it." AND Just know that I love you and would never punish you. All my love, SFL"? sounds great!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Sorry- I'm just now to the point where I'm going to do EXACTLY what you guys say ha. Just want to get it right. I am SO RELIEVED!! You picked the right time to get on board because it is real hard to navigate the fogbabble when you are under assault. WE can help so much because we are not hampered by emotional duress! You are doing great! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ok- latest latest nonsense is that he is going to talk to his boss on Tuesday. He said he is going to tell him "what he did" (which probably means he'll say he was helping her out and didn't sleep with her and just stayed at her place) and see what the consequences are. He said he will probably get fired but maybe not because he'd like to stay and work. So he is taking back the agreement of leaving gracefully. Help  Do you see how this was a RUSE to get you to drop this? He never intended on telling them the truth.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am SO RELIEVED!! You picked the right time to get on board because it is real hard to navigate the fogbabble when you are under assault. WE can help so much because we are not hampered by emotional duress! You are doing great! THANK YOU!! So when will I be implementing Plan B? I'd love to pack up his stuff and send to UT already.... Do I do this week?
Last edited by SFL; 05/26/14 04:57 PM.
BS
2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD
Divorced since 12/11/15
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I am SO RELIEVED!! You picked the right time to get on board because it is real hard to navigate the fogbabble when you are under assault. WE can help so much because we are not hampered by emotional duress! You are doing great! THANK YOU!! So when will I be implementing Plan B? I'd love to pack up his stuff and send to UT already.... Do I do this week? I would start making plans to go into Plan B. You have to work out a lot of details, such as the intermediary, handling child exchanges so you don't see him and he doesn't come inside. Go read through this thread and start writing your letter and putting your plan together. How to Plan B
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I want to see how things play out tomorrow, but I am thinking it would be a good idea to go into Plan B this week. Do you have someone who would be willing to handle child exchanges?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I want to see how things play out tomorrow, but I am thinking it would be a good idea to go into Plan B this week. Do you have someone who would be willing to handle child exchanges? I do! Just have to re-do my Plan B letter will work on it tonight. Will also be having help to pack up his things. Even though I believe he's going to be avoiding OW's apartment for awhile due to HR paranoia (he's been searching for his own place, )I'd love to send boxes of his crap to her place
BS
2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD
Divorced since 12/11/15
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WH's last text:
"Let me figure out an exit plan when I talk to (Boss) tomorrow."
BS
2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD
Divorced since 12/11/15
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WH's last text:
"Let me figure out an exit plan when I talk to (Boss) tomorrow." That is good!! We can see where this goes.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Also, have you sent the OW a link to the cheaterville posting? If not, I would do that tonight.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He just texted again saying:
"What do you get out of punishing me this way? It hurts me. It hurts the kids. And it hurts you. Why? I just want to know?" Really? I thought a father abandoning his family to pursue his affair hurt his children and wife!
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Ok- I know the purpose of this is to MB but, I'm at a place right now that I think it's best that we aren't together. I think I'd like Plan D. There have been so many lies. So many. Don't think I can ever trust him again. With him in his current job, I know exactly how much I'll get a month and it's a nice amount. Might have to make a few adjustments but it's pretty good.. If he leaves, it could take 3-6 months for him to get something else and that would cut what my kids and I would get significantly. The last 2 times he was between jobs that's how long it took and we had to dwindle our savings. He consulted as well but he got much less. if we D and he's not in his current job and is instead consulting the Alimony/Child Support would be based on his lesser employment and that would not be good as it is now. Is that right?
Please advise. Thank you all so much. If you want to divorce, you can often make demands that the wayward will agree to and get them met. Harley discussed this on the Radio once, that a betrayed spouse can in some ways benefit during divorce if the wayward is focused on the affair because they will give up everything to keep the affair as the priority.
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Part of your plan b preps will be to take as much money as possible from your joint funds and put it somewhere safe. Should I do this before I plan B?
BS
2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD
Divorced since 12/11/15
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If you want to divorce, you can often make demands that the wayward will agree to and get them met.
Harley discussed this on the Radio once, that a betrayed spouse can in some ways benefit during divorce if the wayward is focused on the affair because they will give up everything to keep the affair as the priority. JEdi_Knight- do you mean if I don't expose at work?
BS
2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD
Divorced since 12/11/15
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Part of your plan b preps will be to take as much money as possible from your joint funds and put it somewhere safe. Should I do this before I plan B? It should be done at the same time. Any hint of separation or divorce usually results in a race to the bank to withdraw the money first. Dont be the last one there! Secure the money and place it in a single (your name only) account.
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Also, have you sent the OW a link to the cheaterville posting? If not, I would do that tonight. Melody Lane- I have not :-/ I don't know why I"m scared of that but I am. It seems 'spiteful' Reaching out to family friends held the "Just trying to salvage our marriage" reasoning much more than a public posting of her on cheaterville.... But of course I would love your insight. 
BS
2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD
Divorced since 12/11/15
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