Hi,

I wanted to introduce myself since I plan to comment on here from time to time. I am an active reader of MB's and feel like I have enough knowledge to be of help to others.

My current husband and I have been married for almost 12 years and we follow the MB concepts in our marriage. Honestly, we feel like honeymooners as a result! We have also affair-proofed our marriage and I feel that gives us the best chance to have a strong, loving marriage for life.

That is my life now. But I was a BS many, many years ago and had no one to turn to that could help me. Not a single counselor was helpful in turning things around. It ultimately caused my 1st marriage to end.

My Ex H had many, many problems: Porn, drugs, verbal abuse and most likely, affairs. He worked late at night - every night. I found a woman's underwear hidden in the garage one day when we were separated.

He had no plans to ever end any of these behaviors. Lots of gaslighting! It was a complete nightmare and caused me so much pain. Way too many years of my life were wasted on him: depressed and un-empowered to change my life.

Eventually I did overcome what happened and life is so much better. But that terrible experience left me feeling that I wanted to somehow help others avoid what I had went through. I've found MB's to be the answer. I only wish I had known about it back then because I would have left my Ex H sooner. I have directed people I know to MB's because I live it with my husband and I know it works. I have also used the concepts in my counseling practice.

I thought it would be good to introduce myself so you have a little bit of knowledge and background on me to turn to when I make comments here.

Welcome! Glad to have you here

Hi inloveforlife!! Glad to have you aboard and so glad to hear you have a happy marriage. My H and I have been married for 14 years and feel the same about our marriage as you do. It is wonderful!

If you haven't had a chance to check it out yet, Dr. Harley's recent book "Effective Marriage Counseling" helped me tremendously in my ability to understand his program enough to help others. It is on kindle here

Another great resource is his daily radio show. I probably learned more from listening to his radio show than anything else. Welcome aboard.

inloveforlife

Welcome to MB and I'm so happy you are here. I'm sure this forum will be greatly benefited by having you here and I'm sure you will greatly benefit from being here as well.

Thank you for all the nice welcomes!

I do have the book, "Effective Marriage Counseling" and I'm in the process of reading through it a second time. I have also listened to a few of the radio shows. I'm excited to learn more.

Looking forward to being part of MB.

Welcome!

Thank you!!

Welcome to MB.

Welcome to MB. You are a marriage counselor?

Thank you!

Yes, I'm a marriage counselor and I realize how unpopular that makes me here.

However, despite that fact, I am here to learn and support others in ways I never received when I needed it desperately!

I have been on the receiving end of really bad counseling myself and it only traumatized me more - lots of blame the victim and co-dependency labeling. It did nothing to help me and only kept me down when I should have been standing tall and reclaiming my heart and life!

You are not unpopular in my book!! A counselor who embraces Marriage Builder is a blessing, IMO. It was just such a counselor that led my H and I to Marriage Builders in 2001. I didn't realize then how very lucky we were.

I feel very fortunate to have discovered Marriage Builders. It was even a great secret when I arrived here in 2001. Folks recommended just about everything BUT Marriage Builders here. It was a tower of babel. Thank goodness that has changed.

I appreciate it MelodyLane. I figured even if I wasn't thought highly of because I'm a marriage counselor, it is worth it to be here and fully embrace MB 's.

I'm under no illusions about the very poor marriage counselors out there. That is why when one of my good friends needed serious help I told her to come here. I could tell after talking to her a few months later, that she got something valuable out of it.

It goes well beyond wanting to learn professionally though. My H and I are living MB's and we are very much in love with each other. That is a priceless feeling. Before we started working this program, my husband said he was still in love with me, but I wasn't really in love with him. I loved him very much but wasn't in love with him like I use to be and that was not good.

Our weekly commitment to these concepts have transformed everything! I still remember when I started to fall back in love with him - I realized what I had been missing and I felt like I was getting to know him all over again.

I was reading some of the old postings from years ago and I can see what you mean - it seemed more like a free for all than following the MB's program!

If you are a proMB counselor you would not be unpopular at all. Sorry you endured cruddy marriage counseling. After Dday (yrs ago) I went twice and never went back after the MC told me I didn't need to know the details of my WH's affair...bye bye.

I do have a question though. You divorced in 2002 and have been married almost 12 yrs. Were you dating during your divorce or just married quickly?

Hi Black_Raven!

Yes, I will be married 12 years at the end of this year.

I dated during my separation from my first husband. We had a lengthy in house separation followed by him moving out for good.

We no longer lived together at the time I began dating. I was in the process of going through the 6 month waiting period required for my divorce to be final.

And no, I did not have an affair that caused or played any part in the ending my 1st marriage (just in case you might be wondering about that.) This would certainly be a fair question to ask however!

Understood. Dealing with infidelity (and whatever else) on top of divorce is not easy. The legal process can be harsh and unfortunately looooong. I have much empathy.

Thanks. You know, going through the infidelity and abuse was far worse than finally divorcing. Because once the decision to divorce was finally made it was liberating to know I no longer would be hurt and disrespected. That was the only way it was going to end.