Please pray for my husband's salvation and that he leaves his sinful life of other women and comes back home to me and his teenage daughters. God has given me a word that He is working on restoring my marriage and I'm trying to stand on that Word. Please pray that His Will is done and that we don't go all the way with this divorce.

Stacmom,
I have prayed for your marriage and family; that God may convict those living in sin and they may repent and accept Christ.

I have prayed for you, for your husband, and for your children.

Please hit "notify" and ask the moderators to move your thread to the "surviving an affair" section of this forum. There, you will find that God has led you to a place of immense help. God has amazing affair fighters here on this site who can guide you.

Have you exposed your husband's affair?

Here is some indispensable helpful material to read:
Affair Exposure 101

Surviving an Affair - Start Here First

Surviving an Affair by Dr. Willard Harley and Dr. Jennifer Chalmers, Kindle edition (you can buy the kindle edition and read it on your PC or other device immediately - there is also a print edition)

Please help stacmom, who is posting in the prayer requests forum. I have suggested she have her thread moved over here. It sounds like her husband is a serial adulterer. She has teenage daughters.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2804707#Post2804707

For decades, God has enabled Dr. Harley to do some remarkable work and make some amazing discoveries about recovering marriages, even marriages that have been ravaged by infidelity.

One of the things that Dr. Harley has seen, and that God has allowed many of us on this site to see as well, is that in order for a marriage to recover from an affair, a wife needs to take an amazingly strong stand. Are you willing to take a very strong stand against your husband's infidelity?

Welcome stacmom. We are here when you're ready to share your story.

I am more than willing to stand strong against my husband's infidelity.

There's great reading to do on this site. As soon as you can, please give a more detailed history of your situation. Then keep reading. You'll have some prep work - faith in action - to do before leaving the whole outcome for your WH completely in God's hands.

Read through these very carefully. One of the first and most important things to do is to expose his affair. Start with your children.

stacmom, welcome to Marriage Builders. Are you ready to get to work saving your marriage?

Hi stacmom, I also have prayed for your marriage and for you to remain strong.

This exposure is the beginning of the strong stand. Tell your children, your family, his family, clergy, friends. Tell the husband and family and friends of his current other women. If he has had an affair at work, tell his boss, coworkers, and human resources department.

Do all of this regardless of the consequences - they belong to him and his affairs, not you. (After all, it's not your job to keep his dirty secrets. That is a crippling and destructive burden.)

This is the beginning of the strong stand.

How many affairs has your husband had? Do you know who the other women are/were?

stacmom, MelodyLane is a world class expert in affair fighting. I have watched affairs crumble when people follow her expert instruction. I have seen families restored.

You could find no better help on this earth.

Thank you, markos!

My husband and I got married very young because I was pregnant with our oldest daughter. Within a few months of our marriage he had a one night stand with a girl from his job. I knew about that one and forgave him. Right before our 13th anniversary he tells me about a woman from work that he had been with for 6 months and who was 10 years older than me. She had children around the same age as our daughters and they called him daddy. After he decided to get help and stay in our marriage he came clean about another long term relationship at his old job and a one stand at the job before that. I knew he had a problem with commitment and faithfulness but forgave him and even went through the books that Dr Harley wrote about surviving the affair, love busters and his needs, her needs. Nothing seemed to work for us. We went to counseling but he never fully opened up about his issues. He went on a mission trip last May and left me right after my birthday in Oct claiming that he fell in love with a 25 year old from his trip. He hired her to work directly for him and had a lot of contact that way. We went on a couples mission trip in Feb and when we got back he left and said he was done and wanted a divorce. He's been seen out with different women and has even texted them in front of oldest daughter. Our church knows everything, his family knows but his boss doesn't know. I pray daily for his salvation and that God performs the miracle He promised. I've asked God if i could leave the marriage due to all the infidelity but He has told me multiple times to stay and trust Him. I don't know what else to do to fix this situation or stop my husband from cheating. I've forgiven him for all the affairs and even for leaving. I have unconditional love for him that most people don't understand. I appreciate all your help.

stacmom, God is very clear in the Bible that adultery is a valid reason for divorce. So it is not God telling you stay with an abusive, cruel adulterer. That message is coming from your wishful thinking. [or worse, from the bowels of hell]

People don't understand your stance on "unconditional love" because it is not from God, it is your own wishful thinking. Nowhere in the Bible does God advocate unconditional love or fake "forgiveness" of someone who is not repentant.

The Bible tells us to have nothing to do with the works of darkness and that is what you have done by staying in a marriage with a lying, cheating, faithless, unrepentant man. It has only brought you down into the depths of hell with him. It is a buyonegetonefree for the devil. It doesn't have to be like this.

X2. This is written so well; there is nothing for me to add.

AM

Stacmom, your husband is a lost soul, and you have helped him in that regard by enabling him. Please hold him accountable and remove yourself from his circle of abuse.

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. Ephesians 5:11

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matthew 19:9

So watch yourselves! "If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Luke 17:3 ( notice the part about repentance?)

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

You state that God has told you clearly and unmistakably to stay with your H. Do you know that this can be taken a couple of different ways?

1.) God means for you to live with your unrepentant, cruel, wayward husband regardless of the cost to your emotional and physical health and regardless of its effect on your children.

2.) God means for you to continue to be married to your H but to be separated in a dark safe Plan B and wait until he either is completely lost to you or returns repenting of his wrongs to you and his children and becomes a "new" man.

In the case of adultery, Dr. Harley doesn't advocate forgiveness at all; he talks about the value and rightness of Just Compensation. Just Compensation means that your H would make more affairs virtually impossible and also partner with you to create a wonderful marriage. These two parts of JC will make your H into a much better and more Godly man who is worthy of your love and the love of your children.

It wasn't until my H realized he would forever lose me if he didn't turn completely around that he began to follow the MB plan, which led him to turn back to God and become a really wonderful man, husband, father, and grandfather. If I had stuck around and put up with his selfishness and cruelty, he would never had had a reason to change. My stance against his adultery held him accountable.

Dr. Harley would encourage you to expose this affair to the parents of the 25 year old and to the workplace.
You should also post her on www.cheaterville.com