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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 24
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2014
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I just wanted to thank everyone here who has taught me so much on this journey towards an amazing marriage. The more I read, the more I learn and do. I haven't been part of MB very long but in the short time I've been reading here, my H and I have created that wildly "In Love" M we both wanted so much. We cared deeply for each other and had done a really good job protecting each other from Love Busters. What was missing was the passion and deep intimacy. (what a huge part that is!!) Like most every M, we had some big challenges in our lives and we lost what we had early on. I am chronically ill and go through some serious downturns. Things that scare both of us. He has always been there for me through it all. He also had a stressful job and just wanted to check out with the TV after going through a hard day. It all took it's toll on us and our M. It was heartbreaking on so many levels - we just didn't quite know how to make the deep changes that would make us feel crazy about each other again. Neither one of us ever wanted our M to end. We just missed each other so much. I didn't have those "in Love" feelings, but I did love him deeply. It's all a matter of degree. Yesterday he walked up to me and said, "I'm so in love with my W" That made me tear up, because I feel the same way about him and felt like we had arrived at a place we only dreamed we would. I guess sometimes dreams really do come true  I smile a lot these days and he lights up my whole world. I don't think it's possible to love him any more than I do right now. We've made a promise to never let go of what we have ever again. If you are reading this and have been wondering if it's worth it to make all the necessary changes to your M, (because after all, sometimes it is really hard) I will tell you it is worth every single step! Stay focused and the rewards will exceed your imagination.
Me: BS ExH: WS - Divorced Him in 2002. Married to the love of my life now.
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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 24
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Me: BS ExH: WS - Divorced Him in 2002. Married to the love of my life now.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Do you use/recommend Dr. Harley's books in your counseling? Do you see couples who suffer from infidelity?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 24
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Hi brainhurts. I am requiring Dr. Harley's books. I've ordered several of each so I can give them to people during their appointment.
I have fully embraced MB concepts and they are what I will be using. I'm excited about using a coaching approach, rather than a traditional counseling approach.
I do see couples and individuals who suffer from infidelity. In the past, I have used the work of Peggy Vaughn and Dr. Shirley Glass to guide my work. However, I will be using "Surviving An Affair" as the basis of my work.
Using MB's for my own M has been extremely helpful in gaining my confidence in this approach. It works, plain and simple!
Me: BS ExH: WS - Divorced Him in 2002. Married to the love of my life now.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
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Hi brainhurts. I am requiring Dr. Harley's books. I've ordered several of each so I can give them to people during their appointment.
I have fully embraced MB concepts and they are what I will be using. I'm excited about using a coaching approach, rather than a traditional counseling approach.
I do see couples and individuals who suffer from infidelity. In the past, I have used the work of Peggy Vaughn and Dr. Shirley Glass to guide my work. However, I will be using "Surviving An Affair" as the basis of my work.
Using MB's for my own M has been extremely helpful in gaining my confidence in this approach. It works, plain and simple! I think that is fantastic. How refreshing to actually find counselors that are pro MB. And utilizing it in your own marriage is an excellent example of walking the walk.
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
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Hi brainhurts. I am requiring Dr. Harley's books. I've ordered several of each so I can give them to people during their appointment.
I have fully embraced MB concepts and they are what I will be using. I'm excited about using a coaching approach, rather than a traditional counseling approach.
I do see couples and individuals who suffer from infidelity. In the past, I have used the work of Peggy Vaughn and Dr. Shirley Glass to guide my work. However, I will be using "Surviving An Affair" as the basis of my work.
Using MB's for my own M has been extremely helpful in gaining my confidence in this approach. It works, plain and simple! I think that is fantastic. How refreshing to actually find counselors that are pro MB. And utilizing it in your own marriage is an excellent example of walking the walk. I agree! I am glad this is happening - and glad to see how excited you are about how well MB has worked in your own marriage. 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,956 Likes: 1
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Joined: Dec 2010
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Congratulations on your loving and in-love marriage. We've read lots of books on marriage over the years and went to months of marriage counseling, but nothing changed our marriage like using the Marriage Builders program. It's like a totally different marriage!
Way to go!
Married 1980 DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 24
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Overall, it has been amazing for our M! As I said before, my H and I were doing some things right before I found MB. But there were other things that needed improvement. He has been as happy about the changes as I have.
I wouldn't feel right recommending something to people that I really knew nothing about. And I believe having an amazing M gives me the passion and conviction to stand behind the recommendations I give.
I think back on one situation about 5 years ago and feel like we dodged a bullet.
Out of the blue, my H's ex W called him after no contact for 25 years. They have no children together so it was a clean break. He didn't know who it was at first. As he was talking it all put me on alert. They were childhood sweethearts and we know the kind of memories that can create.
When he got off the phone, the first thing I said was, "Let me guess. She doesn't have a husband right now?" That was true! And then she went after him by contacting him at work and wanting to meet. His email address and phone number were public because of his job.
The crazy thing was, infidelity on her part is what broke their M up. She married the guy she had the affair with and he had died so she came after my H
He was able to shut her down but it was pretty scary for me at the time.
This is how easy things can come out of the blue and threaten a M.
I'm sure you can see why it is easy for me to embrace MB. Between that situation and the awful experiences I had as a BS with my Ex H, it's not a leap!
Me: BS ExH: WS - Divorced Him in 2002. Married to the love of my life now.
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