Got married to a beautiful Brazillian on 12-17-2002

I got into pornography during our marriage, she found out and it crushed her. She harbors resentment and bitterness.

For the last 1.5 years she had 3 affairs. I work at night and sleep during the day,so that must be hard for her. It also made it easy for her to invite the other man over while I was t work.

She had sex with him when she went on a trip to Valdasta to visit a college girl friend. (They got a hotel together) we have a 4 year old, she took him, but I am told he slept in a different partition or room I the hotel room. (He was 3 at the time)
I found out about 3 or 4 weeks ago.
(I stole her iPod touch to snoop)
Since then she has been mostly helpful, but she still tries to pass at least some of the blame for my pornography. (I know I deserve some of the blame, but I stopped before her affairs.

I'll post later

Welcome to MB and I'm sorry for the pain that has brought you here.

Who are her OM(s)? How does she meet them?

Are any of them married?

Have you told anyone about her affair?

Also, have you read all of these?
SAA-Start Here First

Thank you, and all great questions.
The main OM is out of the picture, because I took care of that.
I am told the other 2 men were a one time thing.
One was married, the other was not.
The main OM was with her for just over a year.
He would even come over at night when I am working.
(I am told they did not use either of the beds. (I know about trickle truth, but I believe her.)
My wife told her mother and her closest friends.
We also joined out local Baptist church today. (Switched churches because we moved 3 years ago)
She is a complete open book now. I see all emails, and phone calls, exc.
(I would have it no other way)
She met each of them on Craig's List, she said she only wanted a pin pal

The first thing you need to realize is that WW's LIE, she told you the other two were a "one time thing", she told you "they didn't use the beds", she told you "she only wanted a pen pal" ~ she's lying to your face.
How do you know she doesn't have another secret email account?
How do you know she doesn't have another secret phone?
WW's are fantastic at lying, deceiving & hiding things - I could go on and on.
Viewing pornography is NO excuse for her to begin an affair ~ let alone THREE of them.

Mrs_cen,

I believe at first she only wanted a pen pal, but no guy goes on Craig's list only looking for a pen pal.

I Agee the pornography is no excuse. I don't believe she has a secrete email, or a secrete phone. (Though anything is possible, and she could be lying, but if believe she is now truthfull)
I have prayed for God to bring to light anything in the dark, and shortly after I got all this info.
A few hours after the first D moment, it was like a truth switch was hit, and I was told everything freely.
She saw me post here for the first time I will say though.
I will also say, if there is anything else in the dark, I want to know about it.
I believe God is moving, but I want the entire trut.
I know my viewing pornography hurt her, but I agree there is no excuse.
(Also, I have stopped viewing pornography)
Also, keep in mind she told her mother and closest friends. If she were going to continue the deceit, I believe she would not have told them
We have also told the main OM's wife, and blocked their phone numbers, so I believe he is out of the picture.

When my BH found out about my affair, he told EVERYONE ~ have you told anyone on your side of the family? Parents, siblings, friends?
Im glad you feel you have complete honesty from her ~ I truly hope that you do, I will say though IF she is still in her dog, telling her folks and close friends doesn't necessarily mean anything ~ my parents and best friend were aware as well and in the beginning I didn't care, it didn't matter.

My mom knows, my dad died when I was a baby.
My brother has autism, I did not tell him.
For the most part, it seems a switch was hit, and I see a real attitude change in my wife. Sometimes I tell her that she hurt me greatly, and she usually is supportive, but sometimes she makes an off hand comment that my viewing pornography hurt her, and she eludes that she is somewhat justified, (without actually saying it)
My mom is very very imposing, and I did not do enough to shut my mom out of our marriage, and she has some resentment for that too.
Part of me thinks that her having sex with 3 other men is a bridge too far, and something drastic has to happen, because the mind movies make fe feel like I want to die.
I love my wife, and I want to R, but it is the hardest thing I ever went through.
It is so amazing that the person who I love the most, and is supposed to love me the most can do this to me.
She said she used the living room floor and couch for her activities, (never the bed, and always while my 3 (now 4) year old was asleep.
Also, the main OM beat her, and she was still dumb enough to let him back in our house.
(This often happened while I was busting my butt at my overnight job)
Should I refuse to sit on the couch with her?
I don't want to neglect her needs, but I have needs too.
I don't have any answers, I just know I love her, and I believe all truth was told, but I would like to know if there is anything in the dark.

You need to get the book Surviving an Affair by Dr. Willard Harley ASAP

I would post all of the OM on www.cheaterville.com ;
be honest and tell your story.

A few months ago, there was a man who posted here who walked in on his wife and OM sitting on the couch with her shirt off. This poster took his couch, dragged it into the backyard and set fire to it.

Your wife is lying to you. She had the OM in your bed. SHE TOOK YOUR CHILD TO A HOTEL TO HAVE SEX WITH OM!!!

There is much more going on here with an affair that has been going on for this long.

AM

Have you thought about having her take a polygraph?

Barn fire that couch tonight. Rug on the floor then add that to the fire.

Should my wife tell me sexual details of her affair? (I think I have posted info here before, but I will get back to it as I have to go to work now.
I found out today that she lied about details, because I read old messages that she thought she deleted.
(I know it does my no good to read those messages, and she got rid of most of them, but my mind goes in overdrive)
Thank you for your help.

Gmsisko1,

Yes she should tell you whatever level of detail you wish and be completely transparent. She should not lie to you, her lies will keep your marriage unrecovered.

Married couples should not keep secrets from each other, nor should your WW continue to keep intimate details confidential between her and the OMs.

Just get a polygraph.

God Bless
Gamma

Another question,
2 of the OM are married. We already told the most recent OMs wife.
My W will not tell me the other OMs last name.
(Says she forgot, says they only had sex one time,) (lies)
Should I insist on the OMs last name?
Should I try to tell his wife?

Absolutely! Not telling the man's wife makes it much more likely she can contact him again.

Well she told me the guys last name, I tried to find him online, but no luck.

How did you search? Facebook, Spokeo?

She told you his last name, but can you be certain that she's telling you the truth? Is it possible she made it up? How did she suddenly "remember" his last name?
Have you considered asking her to take a polygraph? Perhaps that will help to eliminate or eliviate somebody your fears and concerns.