Ok this is my first post. I started exposure with my WW.

Backgound (pre MB)- I was a WH for 6 years and last May she finally found proof and exposed my affairs. I admitted to what I had done and since then have done a 180 and changed my life around. Last September WW started to have many girls nights out and did lots of drinking and things went downhill. I didn't know about LB's and I know I made a lot of AO and SD's (also throughout marriage- Army deployments didn't help)

She decided to move out Jan 2014 and during that time made out with her roomates boyfriend causing them to break up and also slept with a co-worker. I found out and semi-exposed however did not do the full program as it was pre-MB. She stopped for a few weeks and things were great. Then she started to pull away and filed for divorce (not final until Aug).

Through snooping I now know that she had been seeing another guy starting around the time that she asked for a divorce and also continued talking to coworker and also had EA with a manager. She does not work with them anymore.

I read SAA and posts on here and decided that I needed to do a full exposure if I ever had a hope of saving my marriage.

This morning I sent emails out to all of family (her's and mine), friends and also sent out text messages to the OM's. One has denied anything and wants me to stop talking to him "I don't appreciate you contacting me and feel that your text message was highly inappropriate and disrespectful". I basically told him I know, and to stop talking to her, and i've informed our family.

WW wanted to meet up and talk and she was furious.
-Demanding who I told and what I told.
-Asking why I would send a text to OM's.
-Told me that she is going to file to have the divorce expedited
-Once the divorce in final she is probably going to file a restraining order
-Not to talk to her family. It is none of their business and is only going to hurt them.
-She now has to do damage control and tell them not to talk to me anymore
-I'm only doing this to control her
-She would keep bringing up what I did in the past.
-Wanted to know where I got my evidence for "multiple forms of infidelity"
-I'm scaring her friends (the ones that WW admittedly said 'do not judge' (aka support) her hanging out with OM's.
-There will never be "us"
-We won't even be able to be friends now.
-Ect. there is more I can't remember right now.
-She only admitted to doing anything with the one OM that I exposed in Feb.
-Would not talk about other OM when I would not disclose what proof I had besides phone record.
-Said she is not going to tell me things because in the past I wasn't open with her about things.
-said she is the happiest she has ever been and why I am trying to ruin it.

I turned into a broken record....
-told her that I did this because I do care and I love her
- We can be so happy if we work on our marriage
- I love you
-I did not do this to be controlling
-I want to be married to her
-I'm sorry that you are hurting
-Apologized when she brought up my former indiscretions.
-Told her that I want to build a new marriage and be completely transparent with her
-Told her that I'm doing this so we can get on the right track, ect.


I know that exposure was the right thing to do and I understand that is the reaction I could expect to get from reading posts on here but i'm going to need a lot of help going forwards so I hope some of the vets are ready

So far the family that have written back have been supportive and thankful that I have reached out. WW doesn't know that I have proof. I told family that I do, that way when WW reaches out the the family to cover her a$$ and not to talk to me, they will know.

Letter I sent to WW

My Beautiful Wife xxxx,

It has been brought to my attention that you have been participating in more than one inappropriate friendships, as well as there has been continued contact with xxxx since we originally discussed you and him having sex in February. This destructive behavior hurts me. I have kept things inside and will no longer protect these secrets of infidelity. I want to assure you that I still want to be with you, meet your emotional needs, and resolve marital conflicts that may have contributed to this behavior. I am committed to making our relationship better, and create a new, strong, love-filled marriage that we can both enjoy together. I cannot work on building a strong marriage unless you are committed to do the same.

I need a commitment to the immediate end of any contact with all inappropriate friendships (emotional and physical), and with those who supported the behavior. Also an end to alcohol consumption. I would like a commitment to restoring our relationship based on honesty and marital integrity because I want our marriage to work, and to have a family with you.

I need full disclosure and transparency of inappropriate actions. My need to know stems from a desire to hold our world together. It doesn't come from jealousy, it doesn't come from spitefulness, and it doesn't come from a desire to make you suffer. I want to be your best friend, someone who is always there for you when you need me, and I want you as my best friend.

I can assure you that I understand what you are going through and the emotions you are feeling such as guilt, embarrassment, feeling trapped, and wanting help. I can even believe that you truly love me and that your indiscretion hurts you emotionally much the same way it hurts me. I want you back in our home, and our girls miss you too.

I love you sugarlips, and I love our family,

xxxx

Welcome to MB.

How long have you been married? Have you been tested for STD/I?

Were any of the OM married?

You had affairs for 6 years or you had a long term affair for 6 years? Was your OW married?

Who did you expose to on OM's side?

-We have been married since Dec 2007.
-I was tested for STD. We both went last May when my A was discovered
-I had multiple affairs over the years. They were all short term.
-I exposed to... her OM, My mother, brother and sister, her parents and siblings, her best friend, and some of our mutual friends.

Do you have children?

No children. 2 Dogs

Which one of you is in the Army? Are there still possibilities of deployments? How much time have you spent apart during your marriage?

Tell us about your affairs. Who were they with? How many were there? How did your wife find out? What were reactions of people when she exposed to them? Were any of the women married? Do their spouses know? What reassurance did your wife have that you had no means of contacting these women again?

The underlined passages seem very odd to send to a wife who has moved out and filed for divorce. Does she show any sign of wanting to work on the marriage?It seems to me that she wants to get on with her own life and won't respond to your demands. What was her response to your letter?

I was active duty. I left active duty in Jan 2011.

They were with people that I met online. My wife always had a suspicion but I was very secretive. She found e-mail messages on an old phone and I came clean. She exposed only to me. I exposed myself to both of our families and got a lot of support because I was working to turn my my life around and work on our marriage. I deleted all of my accounts. We called the OW that I had been active with and told her and her husband that it is over. Blocked their numbers. I have not relapsed or had an urge to do anything. 100% focused on my wife and marriage.

To whom did she expose? What was the response?

She didn't say anything about the letter. WW was only concerned about who I told about her infidelity and what proof I had and blaming me for my past transgressions.

She exposed to me that she knew. I came clean at that time. I was glad she finally found out because I wanted to stop for so long but did not have the strength. Have not been tempted AT ALL since then.

How many OW were there? This says that there were several, but you talk of exposing to only one husband. What about the rest?

Did you meet any of these internet women in real life? Did you have sex with any?

R4L, that is not exposure. She couldn't have exposed to you because you already knew what you were doing. "Exposure" means telling people who do not already know about the affair. What you mean is that she confronted you and you confessed. By the sounds of it, she didn't expose to anybody.

I did have sex with them. There were several OW. We exposed to the only OW and OWH that was active. The others were in the past and I had no way of contacting them since I didn't use those websites any longer and had deleted everything.

How long had you been married when you started having affairs?

Ok that is correct. She confronted me and I confessed. I exposed myself to our families.

Please be more specific. Ball park at least.

About a year in. Had just gotten back from Iraq. Dad had passed away while I was there. Very depressed.

How many?