I have had a look at some suggested plans for 15 hours UA per week. But I find it hard to conceive how a couple with a family can take 4 hours for say 'gym night' a couple of times a week.

What hours of the evening does this take place, given that there are children to be fed and bathed and put to bed, etc? Are couples spending the hours of 7pm-11pm or 8pm-midnight at the gym?

This I would've thought must be a common problem for couples with families - I understand the need for UA but how in practical terms is it possible?

The general rule is that UA time should be spent when you are your most energetic. It should also be spent outside of the home. For most couples that would be around 5 to 7ish. Scheduling UA time later at night is when most couples are exhausted so it is not very ineffective.

My husband plan ours typically from 5:30 to 8:30-9 in the evening and for 3-4 hours on Saturday and Sunday. Of course, we don't have small children, but if we did, we would hire a babysitter and have her put the children to bed while we are on our dates.

And most couples simply can't do their time at home because all of the distractions at home make it worthless. Dr Harley and Joyce have mentioned that they don't it at home for this very reason. My H and I always get distracted when we try it at home, so we schedule it outside of the home.

If you have been married that long, at least one of your daughters should be of the age, that she would be responsible enough to make the other 2 go to bed on time?! Maybe they can have a girls night and eat pizza in front of the television and go to bed at a decent hour?

Our children 11 and 12 would babysit their little brothers for a few hours with no problems. They can always call you in an emergency. Would that be an option in your case?

Bingo! This is what we do. It's really nice actually to come home and have the kids already in bed.

The Harleys have stated on the radio show that they used to spend alot on babysitters to be able to achieve their UA time.

I think Dr. Harley mentioned as much as their mortgage, because it was that important to them.

I know that one of the couples on this forum that takes "gym time" accomplishes this by taking the children to the gym, where there is childcare for gym users. The children get to play and have fun for little or no extra cost.

The gym that I use now has an hour of free childcare on weekdays during gym time that is specifically put side for parents - just after the kids should have been picked up from school. Additionally, one school near where I live has a public gym on its premises, and they provide child care in the mornings for a couple of hours when the children have just been dropped off at school.

Some people have enough flexibility in their working hours to take advantage of daytime or early evening childcare.

Here is an example of a good week for us. We have been married your amount of time and our kids are 19, 17 and 12.

Monday- We take a nice walk alone on our property and afterwards might sit on the swing and talk. We retreat to our bedroom for more fun.. Smile Obviously we no longer have a bedtime routine for our children and we go to bed before them on most nights. That is 2 hours.

Tuesday- Same thing. 2 hours

Wednesday- Church night. Now I have obligations. But this could be an easy one for parents. You could have your child in AWANA or children's choir and you two can go out to dinner and have a date. I am unsure if Dr Harley would count going to a Bible study together without the children but that might be an option. So you can get 3 or 4 hours here. I don't, but it would be easy to do.

Thursday- My husband often takes the afternoon out and it is our main date day. We often spend 6 hours or so on this day.

Friday- We normally do a family movie or something this night.

Saturday- We often spend time together doing a project. I once helped him wire the shop. I didn't care so much about that, but I LOVED the great conversations we had while we were doing it. We've had great conversations painting fences and picking plums. The kids are doing their own things, sometimes at home, sometimes out. They are so old that we no longer entertain them. So there is another 3 hours or so. Sometimes we take a walk and have other fun. The rest of the time we do stuff as a family or he does individual projects/games with the kids.

Sunday- We have a standard Sunday afternoon "nap" date... Grin. When the kids were small, they took a nap as well. As they were older they might watch football or a movie. They have now figured out what we are really doing, and I don't really care. It is kind of a family joke.. Then we have time alone again in the evening when the children are off at youth. I'm working on trying to get him to go out of the house on this night. But here is another 3 or 4 hours ( one hour for the "nap" and 2 or 3 in the evening)

Hope that gives you some examples. It IS easier when the children are older.

For us, it is 5:30pm - 9:30pm. Our children are ages 9, 8, 7, 7, 5, 4, and 2 months.

Scheduling enough UA time can be difficult, but we think it's worth it.

Prisca- on gym night do you spend all four hours at the gym with all the kids in childcare? Or do you spend some time at the gym and some time doing something else?

We love to exercise together but it's a little tough to coordinate. I want to look nice on dates but that is a little bit at odds with sweating for a few hours! We have to find super casual places to go after we workout...

Just wondering how you handle that!

I saw a thread on another board where the men described sweaty women in lycra in very appreciative tones! Some men find women working out to be very visually appealing. That's why, I think, it's a danger to be in that environment with the opposite sex without your spouse.

You need to wear a cute gym outfit and put your hair up into a nice side plait or pony tail. Always look your best no matter what you are doing!

Our gym has both a pool and a smoothie bar. So we don't usually spend the full 4 hours working with weights or cardio machines.

Make sure you do work out TOGETHER, though. It doesn't count if you are on opposite sides of the gym. You need to be side by side, talking and flirting.

As for looking nice, Markos likes it when I wear a form fitting exercise shirt. Get something cute, sexy and attractive to work out in.

Our gym also has a shower. We can clean up if we are going somewhere nice after. OR you can go somewhere nice first, then exercise after.

Thanks!
We don't belong to a gym. We generally hike or do 4-5 mile walks followed by dinner. I wear workout tights, my husband likes them He does not like my shoes, which I choose for comfort (5 miles in bad shoes is a bad idea!) But I am going to look for cuter shoes that are still comfortable. We live in the desert so hiking is literally dirty/dusty We really enjoy it, though and a somewhat strenuous workout helps us transition from day-to-day stuff and into date mode. It's just a far cry from getting dolled-up. We do that too, but we really enjoy moving.

YES!

What's important is that your husband LIKES and is ATTRACTED TO what you are wearing, not that you get dolled up.