Thank's Brainy!!

You and FWW did the hard work. Keep it up, friend.

Ding, ding, ding!


Wives don't want a sad, soggy log of a man. Must of us BHs tend to get all soft at first (I was for approximately 7 days).


Be a hunter. Be an alpha. Be... The Rock!

HHH

You are so right, I have been reaping the benefits of taking that path all week!

We have worked very hard to fall back in love with each other over the past 2 plus years. New RC, 20 hrs.UA weekly.

This one act was over the top for DW. She has mentioned it at least twice a day since! Lesson learned!

Never stop pursuing/ protecting your wife.

It's buried under 4 years of posting, but I once posted a study about Gibbons.


You see, we talk all the time about different species that "mate for life." For instance, birds. But, they have found that a fair percentage of male birds are cuckolded into raising hatchlings for other fathers. And, I'm quite sure that many of those are off sneaking into other nests as well.



But.... Gibbons.


Gibbons have an infidelity rate below 10%.

Why?

Well, because when gibbons pair, the pair carve out an area all their own - and when any intruder enters the area, the partner of the same-sex as the intruder chases it off! The female gibbons defend their males. The males defend their females!


Hey, hey, we're just monkeys. People say we monkey around...

Ok I made a mistake!

The NC letter was not sent and was given back to my DW. Supervisor said he can't get the address. I dropped the ball on this. It has been two months since POSOM crawled out from under his rock.

Should I still send it? How do I find his address, should I pay a PI to be sure it is delivered?

We have been off the charts in our MR, both of us are madly in love with each other and have found new ways to spend our RC.

I do not want to leave anything undone that will hurt our MR in the future.

What do you guys think, send it? Heading out most of the day but will appreciate any help!

A PI should be able to get his address and then have your attorney mail it, return receipt requested.

I agree.

You know the guys name, correct? Have you done a background check?

Thanks Jedi,
I will find a PI first. Might have to drive into a bigger town but that's no problem.

Brainy,
I do know "it's" name but have not done a back ground check.

Thanks

Haha

It will most likely be cheaper(~50) than a PI. Let us know how it goes.

Holy busted wallet Batman!

First PI I contacted wants $700 to get me the address only. The back ground check is probably going to be my route.

Any company suggestions?

Do you at least know what county he lives in?
How can you have no contact info if she had an affair with him?

Jedi,
I know his name, cell phone number,E-Mail and birthday and that he lives in Tennessee.

He would come in to town and they would meet at the same motel. I made many mistakes at the beginning of this and that is why I am having to deal with it now.

You are right I should have had all this information two and a half years ago.

One point to consider: A PI has additional resources available to him that standard online background checks dont

Thanks Jedi,

I thought about that and they do have the resources to verify. I used a membership service and found the address.

I am trying to verify it myself before I have it sent.

One way easy way to verify is to go to the County Tax Assessor Website, and do an online search of the address.
It will tell you who owns the property and the tax mailing address.

Just thought I would give an update. Dr. Harley answered my E-mail question on the Wednesday the 25th show and my DW's on the Friday's show.

I wrote in because my dear wife made a comment about the way I was acting a couple of weeks ago and I suddenly realized I needed to correct it before I destroyed what we had worked so hard to rebuild. The best way to describe it is like in a bad movie when someone is totally freaking out and the calm one has to slap the the guy to snap them out of it. My DW is the calm one!

I knew I was obsessing over the calendar dates but didn't realize I was manifesting it out in a way she would notice. Thanks to MB she addressed it and I recognized what the underlying problem was.

Without thinking about it I was complaining to my DW that we need to spend more time together, more than the 20 hours we were already doing. I blamed it on My grown daughter who had to move back in and my grandson who wanted to stay with us. I blamed anybody that in my mind keep us from being alone.

My wonderful DW said you are only doing this I notice when we have others here are you sure it is our UA time, we are still getting our hours in.

Like I said it was as if she splashed cold water into my face, in a good way. I started to think about it and finally put two and two together, It did not bother me when the others were there except when close to one of the dates I was obsessing over.

That's why I wrote the show and I am going to try the tranquilizers Dr. Harley recommended. My DW is so understanding and I am so proud of her for helping me correct this before it ballooned into something that would harm our M.

We are on the way to a marriage retreat at our church today and I really, really love my bride!

On a side note my DD is to trying and work it out so she can move back out. MY DW and I think it is because she came home early last and walked in on us... let's say enjoying each others company!

I heard your email on the radio show, and I knew from the description of the OM showing up at your wife's work that the emailer was you. There are many similarities between your situation and mine. A major difference is that I don't have problems with dates. When the third anniversary of DDay rolled around, I completely missed it. Your email to Dr. Harley started me wondering what might be different between you and me. I think a big difference is that my family moved after the affair. I no longer deal with all of those subtle latent triggers that existed before. That helps a lot.

mrEureka,
I am starting to think the same thing. We have been talking of putting our house and land on the market and moving towards our grand-babies. DW can retire in 1 1/2 years so we have been looking.

I would love to start some where new.