Send the OMW a PM via facebook TODAY. Go forth with your exposures.

What was his mothers reaction to his affair?

The mother has a language barrier so I'm not sure she understood completely. I didn't get much of a reaction at all.

You need to step this up. Do the OMW FIRST, then go to the workplace exposure as I outlined. Be sure and send an email to HR and a key VP as I suggested. THEN go to the OM's facebook page and start exposing. Prioritize his contacts with 1. family, 2. married people and get as many as you can. You can't do all 275.

When you are done, I would send a nice email to your family and friends about the affair.

Agreed ML. I may need to hold until Monday when I can catch the OMW at home. I don't have FB and she's in Ecquador so there is no guarantee I'm reaching out to her. My WW doesn't know of my trip today. I'm disappointed but will follow through.

There is no reason to wait, though. You would have to start up a facebook page anyway. It takes 2 seconds to start up a facebook page and get moving here. We are trying to tell you this can't wait.

KS, starting up a Facebook page takes no time. Be sure to put a nice FAMILY photo on the top as your status photo. Then go straight away to send the OMW a message (pay the $1.00 so that it won't go to her spam folder). I would include your phone number and ask her to call you if she needs more info.

Then next expose to your wife's workplace as Melody has instructed.

Then sit back, have a glass of tea, and start exposing to HIS Facebook contacts. There are 8 on there with his same last name, so check those first. THEN while you study their photos/friends, you will get to see who is family on there. Aim for his parents if you can first, and then siblings.

DO NOT WAIT on this!

One more thought�.is it possible that the wife may not speak English either? If so, include an English and Spanish rendition of your email all on one. If you don't speak spanish, use an online translator and in your first line, explain that you are using a translator and apologize for any grammar errors.

Yes, it is possible the OMW doesn't speak English well. I'm EST and running out of time today to hit the co-workers. I'll work on setting up a FB page and get my ducks in a row. I was really hoping to meet up with the OMW today! This will come together. I'll visit the WW's father tonite while my WW goes out tonite for "dinner with a girlfriend"; of course it's convenient the OM's wife is in another country.

I am focused on exposure and will follow-through. I again appreciate the guidance and hit it full force today with a 2 hour drive. My intentions will not change, it's just taking a bit longer.

Tonight would be a great time to hit the coworkers and the HR department. You can do this tonight when your wife is out with the OM.


Oh good! And be sure and upload a picture of you, wife and children. Do you have your expoxsure target list prepared for the facebook exposure on the OM? Do you understand how to do that?

Be prepared for the "I was going to recover with you but you have ruined it now" speech. Lots of people recovering heard that speech.

Be kind but firm. It's a confusing state of mind she is in, she is honestly scared and needs you to take the lead. Don't worry much about what you say to her as she won't be processing much, just give her the impression you love her, are fighting for her and you've got it all under control.

Be an unflappable James Bond.

ML - I'm a bit uncertain about the nuclear exposure since I cannot effectively reach the OMW until Monday morning. She gets back from Ecuador Saturday however will most likely be with her husband (the OM). Yes, I could hit the co-workers, HR and supervisors today and FB friends however just not sure this is the impact we're looking for since the OMW doesn't know yet. The WW didn't end up going out last nite and instead stayed at work 30 minutes after her shift. It was typical for them to meet in the parking lot so I'd imagine that's where she was. At any rate, I'm thinking I need to meet the OMW first thing on Monday, then proceed immediately with my other exposure targets, no?

I hear you Indie.

My WW will most certainly take the stance you suggested. She is very stubborn and will definitely think my intent was to attack her and drag her name in the mud.

Right now the WW continues with her wanting space and time to figure out her feelings to see if she misses me. She claims doesn't want a divorce but would like a few weeks to live with a friend or even sleep upstairs at our house and put all discussions about "this" on the back burner. She claims she has no desire right now to work on our marriage.

I've continued to be nice and filling the love bank. We had fantastic sex last nite despite her saying "this isn't going to change anything" and she still wants her space. The sex was influenced by me with her being a very willing (and happy) participant.

She's very aware I am consumed by our situation and is encouraging me to move forward with things in my life and stop thinking about us and our family so much; which..is probably true.

No.

You're displaying great conflict avoidance. I recognize it well because I'm really "good" at that also.

But a woman wants to know that her man is a leader and will protect her and the family at all costs. You are not displaying those qualities at the moment and the longer that you wait to expose, the less chance that you will have to save this.

Do you WANT to save your marriage?

Have you read this? Conflict Avoidance is the Kiss of Death

Just read the conflict avoidance, good stuff. Thank you.

Have you contacted OM's BW yet? Did you spend the exposure letters yet?

The OM wife is out of the country until tomorrow and my plan was to visit Monday morning first thing in person, then swiftly send exposure letters for a nuclear impact. I visited the OM house yesterday and the OM Mom was home who informed me when the OMW will be back.

Have you set up your Facebook account?

We are ALL telling you NOT to wait until Monday to expose.






WHY are you waiting until Monday?

I don't see where the option is to pay the $1.00. FB states my message will go into the "other folder'.

Your message will go to Suzie's Other folder because you aren't connected to her on Facebook. See More <---CLICK the "See More" link (it's blue on Facebook)

And then a little box will drop down that offers for you to pay $1.00