Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.
Mathew 7:6
The POJA helps us discern how we are to give of ourselves in an intimate relationship with our spouse. By extension, we discern how we are to give to others outside our intimate relationship.
The POJA helps us follow a narrow path. Not following this narrow path means we follow a very wide path that includes independent behavior, disrespectful judgements, selfish demands, angry outbursts, dishonestly, unpleasant habits, on and on.
The wider path is superficially easier method. Go along to get along.
We've been misguided. We were taught to show patience. That's why we allow our boundaries to be pushed. A double bind. Don't appear selfish. Am I right? Your husband and son have you throwing your pearls out for the swine to trample 'em. This is how we keep up appearances when we are hurting inside. Your being hallowed from the inside out. Your just a shell having mostly lost yourself from making nice. A huge blow to your self esteem.
What did God really mean about patience?
Rest in the Lord. You no longer have to throw your weight around using anger when you rest in the Lord you know. You don't even have to grab for your own piece of the pie in reaction to your husbands lack of support ie angry outbursts, demands. This is because you are already esteemed by God.
You have been brainwashed by your husbands repetitive lack of validations. You have told your husband you are no longer able to tolerate his son in your home. The well has already been poisoned. Rather then acknowledge your position and hurting, he is ignoring it and even defining for your how to feel and think. These experiences will erode anyone's sense of self. The verse above spells it out.
Your going to need to listen to the radio show, read books articles, call the show and so on. You have to retrain your brain.
I personally have been a victim/survivor of this type of malignant abuse. My own Mother abused me this way. As a bonus to our couple retraining, I've been able to cut threw my Mothers nonsense, see it for what it is and has been, rebuke her without worry of how this will appear, and most important declare myself to her as a child of God. In other words that's how to define yourself because that is how God defines you.
