|
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,066 |
What I noticed from reading through older threads (01-04 or so) was that some posters were given terrible advice. Definitely not the MB advice given today. That May or may not apply to CV55. But I'm glad that Marriagebuilders has changed a lot since then!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Does anyone know when the park thing was? Here is her last post about going to the scene of the crime: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=158484&Number=2377306#Post2377306
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589 |
The last paragraph of that post sums it up. It's just another story of people not following MB principles, but "playing chicken in the street".
Just the thought of my H being in the same location as OW makes me nauseous. Eliminating conditions that made the affair possible and taking extraordinary precautions are definitely the steps to take to recover a marriage.
AM
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093 |
In other words, it is not the program that is flawed, but the wayward spouse. The program can't be faulted for the non-cooperation of a wayward spouse. I'm not blaming the program at all. That said, you are right, this is a totally separate issue from what CV55 is talking about. CV55, the reason you are getting all of this "negative" kind of feedback is because what you have described is not what Dr Harley or the MB program would prescribe for your situation or any affair situation really. No contact for life is a pretty big deal, and you don't have it. Surely you wouldn't recommend that for anyone else coming here for advice?
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
That's sad to read 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,342
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,342 |
**edit**
Last edited by Denali; 08/04/14 04:36 PM. Reason: TOS disrespectful
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
The assumption is that the A was some great love affair.
In reality, an affair is nothing more than an illusion. I knew my H would be miserable with the OW. She was a drama queen and he hates drama. Plus he is a good guy who went terribly wrong. He doesn't want to be with her anymore or walk down that path again. He told me more than once if he could persuade anyone who was thinking of having an A not to he would. So what feels great is that I'm not living my life in constant fear of "What if my H happens to see OW?" Now if he was actively looking for her that would be another story. If he saw her and spoke to her, that would not work for me. As H said after I described this discussion, "moving out of town doesn't necessarily protect you from an A. There's the internet, cell phones, all sorts of ways to have an A." As I said in my 2nd post, I decided early on if I was going to stay Med to this man I wasn't going to be a private defective for the rest of my life. You do not understand the addictive nature of an affair or the OP.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 217
Administrator Member
|
|
Administrator Member
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 217 |
A reminder that the purpose of this forum is to help others recover their marriages using Dr. Harley's concepts. It is not a platform to promote personal philosophies that Dr. Harley does not endorse. Since this thread seems to have turned into exactly that, we will lock the thread. Any questions, please email me privately.
MBDenali@gmail.com
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
366
guests, and
106
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
