Great advice. Thanks I'll try it.

I agree I feel if I dropped the insurance I'd really be over a barrel. He doesn't want to negotiate. I told him what dr Hayley said. He went ballistic. He was driving our car. Slammed on the brakes swerved to the side of the road and lectured me on my attitude, how selfish I was being, how hard he works. Etc, I didn't say anything. I just told him he doesn't know where I'm coming from and doesn't know I feel He said he was going to walk home 8 mikes. Which he didn't. He got back in the car and lectured me some more. He has an anger issue. I can't talk to him.

I see that you are going to be over a barrel if you don't drop the insurance and stop tolerating his angry outbursts. Your problems cannot be resolved if he is angry and Dr Harley would tell you to separate until he gets himself under control. By staying in such an abusive situation you are endangering yourself and setting yourself up for years of resentment.

I agree. He needs to get into anger management.
What to do with an Angry Husband

I've been doing a lot of thinking since I first posted this. It isn't about the money, but more on the lack of emotional support. My step daughter had to get her wisdom teeth out this summer. The statements came, and my husband throughs a fit...why do we even have insurance?.....all insurance is the same.....they don't pay for anything...etc, etc....he goes on and on and on and on...if he were providing it and griped about it, it wouldn't bother me because the noose would be around his neck. Instead it's around mine. I'm the one providing it for my husband and his kids. I have no parental rights either... If they needed medical attention I can't sign for them...yet I'm providing this.

What is he doing about his anger?

You were advised by Dr. Harley to stop paying for their insurance. Are you going to do that?

He's not doing anything about his angry outbursts. Yes I'm planning on next summer, once step kids are no longer minors

Why are you waiting till then when it causes you so much resentment?
Why are you putting up with him doing nothing about his anger?

This is nothing new. You tolerate this behavior.

Why do you continue to live like this?

Thanks I read the part on dealing with a husband who's angry. I have been going to counseling, and she suggested I leave the house when he gets this way. The last time I brought up,the insurance issue, he slammed on the breaks, said I was selfish, he was sick and tired of my attitude and he was going to walk home. I should have left him walk home, but we were 10 miles away. I sat in the car and realized how immature he was acting as well as out of control. I waited a wile then I drove the car by him...he continued to,rant. He finally calmed down. Dr Harley said this is why we don't resolve conflict. Until he gets help for his anger, we can't have a healthy relationship. I've recognized it as well as his verbal abuse. If things don't improve my plan is to move on with my life. I really don't care to be married to him anymore. I haven't told him this, but I think he's realizing it as I keep,to myself most of the time. I told a pastor who counseled us 2 years ago that I couldn't talk to him. I wish I could. Sometime I wonder if it's my approach. Not sure.

I guess I'm an eternal optimist. I keep hoping and praying that God will change his heart and convict him. It hasn't happened. I'm giving up hope.

I'll never marry again.

Why are you putting up with him doing nothing about his anger?

What is filsil? I read that on how do deal with an angry husband. I don't know what to do.

Was it in regards to a book? Fall in Love Stay in Love By Dr. Harley.

I'm a step mom. My husband and I rarely are on the same page. Recently my 18 year old step daughter asked if she could use our car 3 days a week to school. My husband said he was ok with it. She asks me and I say...I need to talk to your dad. Which she replies .....he already said it was ok. So if I say I disagree then they are both mad at me, and if I go,along with what they want then I'm unhappy. We own the car, we pay for the insurance, license and upkeep, and the bus is free which picks her up and drops her off.
I suggested to my DH that we sell it to her, which he replies....your controlling. It's a headache and a huge hassle that I don't want to deal with anymore. Any suggestions? We struggle with resolving conflict. We aren't in agreement.

Have you read the information on Blended families?

Why don't your DH discuss these things before responding to your DSD18?

I have three children and am remarried to someone that has none. So I am in the same position as your DH.

If one of my children asks me for something, however small, I always respond with 'I first need to discuss this with DH'. It has become such a mantra that now they always start with 'I know you will need to discuss this first . . .'

It took a while for this habit to become ingrained and DH had to complain to me a few times when I slipped up but now they appreciate his input because he is so rational and fair. I love the way in which he takes the time to think about each issue. He is more objective than I am and it saves me from making mistakes!