Good Day

I'm a 28 year old male i have been in a relationship for the past 11 years with my lovelly Fiance whom i love to death we have 2 great kids aged 2 and 6.

about 3 weeks ago she told me she does not love me anymore. since then i have read everything i can get my hands on to see if i can change this i have gone to see a pastor i have really been giving it all i have to try and make it work. I have dicovered that she has totally shut down emotionally and i really believe she does still have feeling for me. i'm afraid that trying to hard will push her away as i have seen over last few weeks.

I know that most of it is my fault for not giving her the love, respect and attention she deserves. i Picked up that something is wrong a few months ago and have really been trying hard to change things from my side putting in extra effort showing her that i really do care and love her, showing her i appretiate evrything she does for me and our children. But nothing seems to be working. She has decided to move out at the end of the month and i just cant except that i trully love her and cant imagine a life without her and our childern in it.

We have been talking about the problems that caused this emotional shutdown. i have tried to get her to go to coundelling with me but she says she sees no reason as she has made up her mind. and it is over but i really still see a future for us. I mean 11 yeasrs f feelings dont just go away even though i know i have not been treating her the way she deserves to be treated. i have really made alot of changes to myself and the way i treat her and show her how much i feel.

I'm afraid i might have rialised this to late but im willing to try anything to get our relationship back on track. How does one get that emotional wall that she build down and get het to start feeling the same towards me as she used to. I dont want to loose her.

If anyone can help me maybe they have gone throug the same problem their has been no infedelity. And their is no one alse in her life. she just doesnt have love to give anymore.

Please im despirate she askes me not to sleep in the same bed anymore to make the break up a bit easier on me. But in a way i also think that it is to make it easier for her.

Thank You

bennie,

I encourage you to read Buyers Renters and Freeloaders by Dr. Bill Harley.

11 years and 2 kids - why did you not marry her?

You will need to relentlessly pursue her and woo her to win her back. Start meeting her emotional needs -- the top two for most women are affection and conversation. Since she has children, also focus on spending time with the kids -- this is usually a very important emotional need for most mothers and will make a lot of lovebank deposits.

There should be absolutely no demands or disrespect on your part. Read up on the lovebusters, and avoid ALL of them.

11 years without the commitment of marriage is a long time for any woman. Pursue and offer marriage.

You are worth for her love and she needs you. That is the fact I can learn from your post.