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Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 16
J
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J
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 16
I love my husband, but I just can't believe him at this point. He lies and hides and deletes constantly, but if I didn't know what he was up to i would think he is great aside from some issues otherwise.
The day before I was due with our son I found out he'd been chatting online with multiple people in a sexual manner for pretty much my entire pregnancy!! He had left his chats open on accident and when I opened the computer there they were. I was overwhelmed and devastated. I sought counseling and he agreed to attend. I was learning to trust him again, but still wondered when a couple months ago I discovered he'd been emailing women on cl personals ads (local ones to boot!). It took a week for him to sort of confess but I know he didn't give me the whole truth.
He chalked some of it up to boredom and tried to convince me that they were doing it in the shop and one of his female coworkers got caught emailing some guy on cl too! Entertainment or not, it's wrong. I know he is still doing it yet he is asking me when I'm going to stop searching for things (he got some random text at 2am the other day and claimed it was just 'code' not a picture as The phone bill says, and it was oddly from an email not a number)... I also found a chat he had with some girl 7 months ago online when I downloaded a google app ( not looking it literally just showed up!).
We've been through 3 deployments and I am now wondering what he was doing online while away. He thinks I should just get over it. Says he'll stop but I have to stop looking (right....).
I want to be with this man, but I've lost 99% of hope that he will in fact discontinue online sexual chats with women and chatting with locals has just cut me to the core - how do I know he hasn't actually met up with someone on his lunch break? I don't! And I used to think he would never physically cheat on me, but now I have no clue.
Hurting and need some advice.
P.S. He has so far refused to go back to marriage counseling.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
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J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Is he in the military?

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,256
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,256
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Welcome to MB. Don't stop snooping, but make sure you have spyware on all his devices.

Have you seen this?
Snooping: Is it wrong? Or, is it the right thing to do in marriage?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 16
J
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J
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 16
Yes, AD Army

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Originally Posted By: JessKnut
Yes, AD Army


please start a thread in Surviving an Affair

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 4
S
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 4
I would not start a new thread but have this one moved to Surviving an Affair, you will get a lot more and advice there from the vets on this board.

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,305
And you should not stop looking, in a marriage NOTHING should be private!!!


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