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Is that where UA comes in? because we don't do anything fun Yes, UA is a BIG part of it. But it must be fun. Experiment until you find something FUN to do together. Both of you should start making a list of things to try, then try them! See if you like it. If you do, do it again! If you don't, then try something else.
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I don't really feel like spending time with him actually Why all the telegraphic posts? It makes it hard to figure out where you are coming from and is encumbering to those who would like to help you. I don't understand what you mean by "telegraphic" posts. If you are referring to the short, one-sentence answers, then it's because I have a 3 yr old that hasn't figured out that the umbilical cord has been cut yet. She lays on me ALL DAY and I have to type with one hand. It took me 20 yrs just type all this. and then she will probably hit some button and erase everything I just wrote
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What do you think of this comment from Dr. Harley to your husband? One more affair would certainly end your marriage. So if staying at home to raise your children reduces that likelihood, it would seem to be the least she could do to preserve your marriage It makes me depressed bc I HATE being at home with the kids! It makes me want to kill myself Then put the kids in a Mom's Day Out program and do something on a regular basis with some female friends. The point is not that you stay home. The point is you don't return to work at this point in time, which is the environment that lead to your affair. One more affair is all it would take to end your marriage. Is your marriage important enough to protect it? Find something else to engage yourself in.
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Is that where UA comes in? because we don't do anything fun Yes, UA is a BIG part of it. But it must be fun. Experiment until you find something FUN to do together. Both of you should start making a list of things to try, then try them! See if you like it. If you do, do it again! If you don't, then try something else. We did that when we did the RC lesson already
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Is that where UA comes in? because we don't do anything fun Yes, UA is a BIG part of it. But it must be fun. Experiment until you find something FUN to do together. Both of you should start making a list of things to try, then try them! See if you like it. If you do, do it again! If you don't, then try something else. We did that when we did the RC lesson already Keep doing it until you find something fun to do during UA.
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What do you think of this comment from Dr. Harley to your husband? One more affair would certainly end your marriage. So if staying at home to raise your children reduces that likelihood, it would seem to be the least she could do to preserve your marriage It makes me depressed bc I HATE being at home with the kids! It makes me want to kill myself Then put the kids in a Mom's Day Out program and do something on a regular basis with some female friends. The point is not that you stay home. The point is you don't return to work at this point in time, which is the environment that lead to your affair. One more affair is all it would take to end your marriage. Is your marriage important enough to protect it? Find something else to engage yourself in. The 3 yr old goes to a MMO but it doesn't run in the summer so they are both home in the summer. It's hard to find free stuff to do and I don't really like spending time with them. I would rather they go to daycare
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Is that where UA comes in? because we don't do anything fun Yes, UA is a BIG part of it. But it must be fun. Experiment until you find something FUN to do together. Both of you should start making a list of things to try, then try them! See if you like it. If you do, do it again! If you don't, then try something else. We did that when we did the RC lesson already Keep doing it until you find something fun to do during UA. We only have a couple of things that we can both agree on. Everything costs too much money like cooking classes. It's $150!
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Is that where UA comes in? because we don't do anything fun Please tell us what you've done on all your UA dates for the past two weeks. Tell us how you felt when you were doing whatever it was.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Why do you say that? Have I made any d's here? Yes, you have. Would you like me to point them out to you? Yes, please bc I don't realize I'm doing it
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Then put them in daycare. Or find a SAHM who you can pay to watch the kids a few hours every day, for probably cheaper than daycare. It will probably mean not getting to do something else so that you can afford it.
But you can't GO to work to pay for it. Are you okay with that, to protect your marriage?
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Is that where UA comes in? because we don't do anything fun Please tell us what you've done on all your UA dates for the past two weeks. Tell us how you felt when you were doing whatever it was. We just moved in to our new house so we haven't been anywhere
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It makes me depressed bc I HATE being at home with the kids! It makes me want to kill myself Please explain what you want. I am having a difficult time seeing through all the complaints. Do you want to have an independent life? Do you really want to be single, or do you have some other idea of how a marriage should function?
me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
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Then put them in daycare. Or find a SAHM who you can pay to watch the kids a few hours every day, for probably cheaper than daycare. It will probably mean not getting to do something else so that you can afford it.
But you can't GO to work to pay for it. Are you okay with that, to protect your marriage? It makes me made bc I don't have a choice. I'm being told what to do
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We only have a couple of things that we can both agree on. Everything costs too much money like cooking classes. It's $150! Save up for the big things like that to do only occasionally. Keep looking for cheaper things to do on a more regular basis.
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Is that where UA comes in? because we don't do anything fun Please tell us what you've done on all your UA dates for the past two weeks. Tell us how you felt when you were doing whatever it was. We just moved in to our new house so we haven't been anywhere That's a pretty big problem.
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It makes me depressed bc I HATE being at home with the kids! It makes me want to kill myself Please explain what you want. I am having a difficult time seeing through all the complaints. Do you want to have an independent life? Do you really want to be single, or do you have some other idea of how a marriage should function? I want friends. I want a life. I want to not have to stay on the couch holding a 3 yr old all day. I want enough money to decorate my new house. I want to have a job to get away from the kids and have enough money to do stuff like go out to concerts and go shopping
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Then put them in daycare. Or find a SAHM who you can pay to watch the kids a few hours every day, for probably cheaper than daycare. It will probably mean not getting to do something else so that you can afford it.
But you can't GO to work to pay for it. Are you okay with that, to protect your marriage? It makes me made bc I don't have a choice. I'm being told what to do You have a choice. You COULD go back to work. But you put your marriage at risk, and it will more than likely end. Or, you could not go back to work and save your marriage. It's all about making choices that protects the marriage.
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Then put them in daycare. Or find a SAHM who you can pay to watch the kids a few hours every day, for probably cheaper than daycare. It will probably mean not getting to do something else so that you can afford it.
But you can't GO to work to pay for it. Are you okay with that, to protect your marriage? That makes me feel like my future is already determined for me and I'm stuck here with these **** kids all day for the rest of my life. I would almost rather die
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Then put them in daycare. Or find a SAHM who you can pay to watch the kids a few hours every day, for probably cheaper than daycare. It will probably mean not getting to do something else so that you can afford it.
But you can't GO to work to pay for it. Are you okay with that, to protect your marriage? It makes me made bc I don't have a choice. I'm being told what to do You have a choice. You COULD go back to work. But you put your marriage at risk, and it will more than likely end. Or, you could not go back to work and save your marriage. It's all about making choices that protects the marriage. Like I said, I don't really have a choice
Last edited by feuillecouleur; 08/12/14 11:49 AM.
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We just moved in to our new house so we haven't been anywhere Okay - tell me about any typical two weeks before you moved. What did you do, and how did you feel about it?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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