Hawk,
I have thought a lot about that scenerio, but I don't know how I could leave. We have 6 kids, and every day there are multiple things we both do to help the family function. I would not feel right about bailing out of that, and It would be nearly impossible to make that work.
With that being said, I also understand that it is not good for the kids to endure an unhealthy marriage either, so it is imperitive that we do something. I just don't know how to do it without coming out of this situation looking like a father that left his wife and kids.

RR,

Please reread Melody's and JK's posts to you from 8/21/14.

You haven't changed anything, so nothing has changed.

The Plan must be followed for the affair to end, and for recovery to have a chance.

If not, you'll be back here in November...and January...and..."updating" the forum about how nothing has changed.

But I KNOW you'll be more worse for the wear.

Helpfordad,
That is why I just asked how a guy with 6 kids should go about doing a seperation. I am not ready to uproot my family because my wife wont quit her job, and I don't have the slightest idea of how I would go about doing it.

RR,

Did you make any progress getting the OM fired?

Did you expose the OM widely?

God Bless
Gamma

Have you exposed them at their workplace?

BH,

I read through his posts, and he mentioned in August that he "exposed", but no where do I see he actually exposed them AT WORK.

Thus, he's creating his own issues now becasue his WW is still working -- every day -- with the OM, no?

I'm not sure he exposed this at the workplace; there's no incentive for his WW to leave the job.

Yes thank you.

If I remember correctly we tried telling him to give his WW 30 days to leave that job or he would expose at the workplace. Well it's been longer than 30 days and she refuses to leave the job in spite of the pain he endures every time she goes to work.

Yup.

And I think I shared with him what a doofus I was not listening to the vets, denying this was a 'must-do' for 3 freakin' extra tortuous months...

There's just no way around it: he must expose at the workplace to separate them at work to end WW's affair and have a chance of recovery.

There are no shortcuts.

Thanks, BH.

I exposed in the workplace. I wrote a detailed letter to upper management that said they would address the situation. Later they emailed me and said they had addressed the situation, but did not give me any details. My wife says that ever since then, he does not walk through the area on a daily basis, like he used to always do. She says she never see's him anymore, and for all she knows, he could have been fired.

One of the problems I have right now in the conversations with my wife, is that she does not consider what she did to be "Infidelity". She does not understand why I insist on her leaving her job, when she never had what she would call a romantic relationship outside of the Marriage. I know this is just her way of justifying her actions, but how do I argue from my end. How do I convince her, or show her that what she did was "Infidelity". I mean I know it was infidelity, and i have literally been destroyed by this situation, but she just thinks I have blown everything out of proportion.

Would it be a good idea to have her watch that video on "Just compensation". that someone sent me earlier today? It seams like anything I have her read on "Affairs", goes right in one ear, and out the other, because she will instantly say that her situation is different, and she did not have an affair.

If your WW doesn't feel she did anything wrong, I don't see how you can both move forward ~ until she admits what she's done, and recognizes the problem your stuck!.
Sounds like she's still "fogged" out.

She admits that it was an emotional affair, and that what she did was wrong, and she knows that the betrayal hurt me, but she does not think it was "infidelity". What are the arguments I should be making that prove to her that it was "infidelity".

Who / how many 'upper management contacted you directly to tell you they "addressed the situation"?

Did you ask them to define "addressed the situation"???

You are stuck. Your wife is fogged out.

You cant recover without implementing the EPs, which you havent done.

How long are you going to stay in limbo? That is your choice, as others have said, put a hard time line on it and stick to it.

Have you consulted an attorney yet? I would do that ASAP!!

Everyone is avoiding my original question today. How do I go into a plan B when I have 6 kids. I cannot just walk out. I would not feel right about that.

I just don't understand you moving onto Plan B, when it seems the steps of Plan A / EPs weren't even completed?

Sir, nobody told you to just "walk out" on 6 kids!
Why would you enter Plan B?

Did you ever expose the man on cheaterville?
This affair will never end as long as they have contact.

You should not argue with her.
I would simply say: "I feel devastated"

I was advised to plan for separation. I kind of thought that was meaning to give her an ultimatum of either quit your job by a certain date, or I will leave?

Isn't that what was meant here? I cannot control or force her to quit, and I cannot plan for separation, so I guess I am stuck in limbo.

1. Never leave your marital home(and call it a home)
2. I don't think anyone can Plan B when you live with a spouse, so you are in a poorly executed Plan A(no EP, ) with a fogged out wayward
-kind of forces you into Plan D(divorce), IF AND ONLY IF you are done with Plan A
3. One tactic would be to give her a deadline on the job - and have the divorce papers served if she doesn't take action
-this might shake her out of the fog, guaranteed to make her spitting mad
Another tactic - you could ask her to move out, don't argue, just say I am devastated, i want you to move out by XX date. You will need to be prepared to enforce your decision with papers or moving her stuff out and changing the locks

Of course these are drastic measures and controversial, but have been used in the past, so.......

4. Consult an attorney - each state is a little different, each county in the state has trends, each judge has a point of view
5. Don't argue anymore, with someone in the fog you might as well slam your head into a wall