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Drew, when you came here, am I correct in reading that you had already exposed your A to the people who could actually influence the situation, which what the man who founded this website recommends?

Also, I am not reading anything in your actual thread recommending cheaterville, which means you must have gotten that suggestion off-board, correct?

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Originally Posted by mozilla
Drew, when you came here, am I correct in reading that you had already exposed your A to the people who could actually influence the situation, which what the man who founded this website recommends?

Also, I am not reading anything in your actual thread recommending cheaterville, which means you must have gotten that suggestion off-board, correct?

mozilla,

Have you listened to these clips, yourself, from Dr. Harley?
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Dr Harley discussed such exposure websites on his radio show and here is a thread discussing that show: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2782074&page=1

It was a great show! laugh


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by mozilla
Drew, when you came here, am I correct in reading that you had already exposed your A to the people who could actually influence the situation, which what the man who founded this website recommends?

Also, I am not reading anything in your actual thread recommending cheaterville, which means you must have gotten that suggestion off-board, correct?

Mozilla, unless I missed something, Drew3rd did not have an affair. He is the betrayed spouse.


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I did listen to the radio clips.

Do they contain the answer to my questions?

And yes, I knew that Drew was the BH. I cannot imagine the pain he is in.

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Originally Posted by mozilla
Drew, when you came here, am I correct in reading that you had already exposed your A to the people who could actually influence the situation, which what the man who founded this website recommends?

Also, I am not reading anything in your actual thread recommending cheaterville, which means you must have gotten that suggestion off-board, correct?
Cheaterville was indeed recommended in this thread. Drew was told to post OM on there, not his WW.

He came back and said he posted them both on there. This was not our advice.

As for "the people who could actually influence the situation", posting OM on Cheaterville is an effective way of allowing people who know OM to hear about what he has been doing to a family. It is unlikely that a BS knows everyone in OM's circle of influence and this is a way of reaching them, especially if they are connected to his profession.

This OM needs to be driven out of this marriage. We are much more concerned with protecting this marriage and securing the future of their innocent children than protecting Drew's wife from feeling ashamed.


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His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Originally Posted by Sugarcane
This OM needs to be driven out of this marriage. We are much more concerned with protecting this marriage and securing the future of their innocent children than protecting Drew's wife from feeling ashamed.

And since OM recently contacted Drew's WW, he is still making trouble.


FWW/BW (me)
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Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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This on was put of the marriage until drew spent hours on this forum.

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He is trying to cover his own butt which the cheater did not assist in. In fact admitted to the other woman along with her old boss and good friend that she in fact was the problem.

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Originally Posted by MarieMab
This on was put of the marriage until drew spent hours on this forum.

Marie, would you like to have a loving romantic marriage if possible?
Would you be willing to work on that?

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Originally Posted by MarieMab
This on was put of the marriage until drew spent hours on this forum.

Apparently the OM was not "put out of this marriage" if he was able to contact you. You left that door wide open. You are responsible for the fact that this dirtbag is in your marriage.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Sir the only way the wife will find another job is if the husband finds another job to make up the money she makes.

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Originally Posted by MarieMab
Sir the only way the wife will find another job is if the husband finds another job to make up the money she makes.

It would be helpful if you would quote the person to whom you are responding if you expect to be understood.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Marie, you say you are going to bed and then leave your thread to come post on your husbands thread. What are you trying to accomplish here?

Do you have so little respect for your husband? We are trying to help him navigate this very painful time and help you BOTH have a better marriage than ever before. If you took the time to read the concepts here, you would see Dr Harley advocates BOTH spouses doing the work to make each other happy and protect the marriage. He does not advocate revenge or punishing in any way, and that is not the intent of exposure.

Why don't you go back to your own thread for help, and leave this support system for your victim intact.

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Originally Posted by unwritten
Marie, you say you are going to bed and then leave your thread to come post on your husbands thread. What are you trying to accomplish here?
Damage control - and it ain't working.


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DD - 37, married and on her own
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Did you respond to OM?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Did you respond to OM?

That question has been asked three times with no response. It is pretty easy to guess the answer to this question.

High probability this affair is still going on.

AM


BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Originally Posted by armymama
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Did you respond to OM?

That question has been asked three times with no response. It is pretty easy to guess the answer to this question.

High probability this affair is still going on.

AM
I agree. She obviously responded to him. I hope Drew is following along.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Drew, if you are out there, please be advised that your wife is VERY VERY foggy and very likely still in contact with her OM. She has no intention of protecting you or your marriage right now. You are being gaslit to believe that we are all evildoers who wish to do your marriage harm by actually requiring her to make changes to end her affair and create some just compensation for you.

When you are ready for support and to take a stand against this manipulation, please come back.

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Hello everyone. I can't thank you enough for the support you are giving her. She was deeply hurt by the Cheaterville thing and it drew the OM out from under his rock. Please trust me when I say she is through with the OM. She truly is in recovery and oddly the advice you gave me, though poorly executed by me, still turned productive, I believe, because God worked in her heart. Thank you to all of you who are now helping her with recovery. I have complete overwatch technically speaking but it is how I meet her deepest emotional needs that are going to make her love me again and restore our marriage to a deeply passionate and romantic one again. Melody, please be a little more supportive as she works to meet my needs and restore our marriage.

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PS, guys think long and hard about Cheaterville. The OM's W was dragged into the site by a third party who recognized him and it compounded her pain besides adding shame. She really is innocent

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