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MarieMab #2816048 08/21/14 09:59 AM
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Marie... See my quote in my sig. God WANTS your fruitful deeds exposed to the light.

Btw, this place IS christian based.

MNG

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Originally Posted By: MelodyLane
Originally Posted By: MarieMab
After rereading this forum I realize how silly it was for me to ask my original question. The bottom line is that dr. Harley cannot restore the relationship with my husband. Only god and his son give us the template for the love, grace and mercy necessary for two deeply flawed individuals to spend a lifetime together. My husband has been hurt by my actions. I have been hurt by my husband. Christ did nothing but live a perfect life and he carried the weight for all. I wish all of you the best, even you Melody, but I think my time, energy and emotions would be out to better use by working on my relationship with the creator. I believe by doing that the rest will fall right in line. God bless.
Marie, making amends to your husband is a very important first step as a Christian. The bottom line is that Dr. Harley is a gifted and blessed psychologist who has restored thousands of marriages in his 40 year career. While that is a noble endeavor to restore your relationship with God, He also expects you to restore your marriage from the damage of your affair. Sweeping your affair under the rug is will not restore your marriage. God honors marriage, keep that in mind.

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. Proverbs 18:2
I am one of those who is convinced that Dr. Harley has a call from the Lord to save marriages. I was led here by the Spirit at my time of crisis, and Marriage Builders was the framework by which God restored our marriage. So, if you are sincere in your desire to respond to the will of God, then don't ignore what you can learn here.


me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
mrEureka #2816050 08/21/14 10:04 AM
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It is very telling that you refuse to answer questions about OM, and you turn and run when we press you to answer.

Very, very telling.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

MarieMab #2816051 08/21/14 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted By: MarieMab
I believe God provided all the wisdom and guidance we need through his scripture. My husband and I have been searching for answers to our pain in the wrong places. I am happy Dr. Harley worked so well for all of you and portions of his information have been helpful to my husband and I but this forum is really destructive. We both have real people in our lives to hold us accountable. People who love both of us. Thank you for all your input.
To conclude that solid MB advice is destructive is not listening to God. It is foggy and wayward. God wants your marriage restored, and we would not be serving as God's messengers if we left you in your sin.


me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
Prisca #2816052 08/21/14 10:08 AM
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Quote:
I believe God provided all the wisdom and guidance we need through his scripture.

Then do not fight against his scripture:
This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God. John 3:19-21


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Prisca #2816053 08/21/14 10:12 AM
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Your AFFAIR was destructive. Not this forum. But you can keep playing the victim, Drew is mean and we are not real people who care, we are just a destructive group operating under mob mentality.

Good luck with your plan.

unwritten #2816067 08/21/14 11:01 AM
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Marie,

I am sorry you feel this place is so horrible. I guess you thought that we were going to feel sorry for you.

Like I said before it might not be nice that he did that but you truly have no reason to be so upset, I mean you were a cheater and you have no idea what that pain does to a betrayed spouse.

But now BOTH of you should try to put the affair behind you and move forward on fixing your marriage and part of that is the embarrassment you feel over the affair. I would actually think worse of you if you were not embarrassed by what happened.

This website did wonders for me but it may not be the place for the wayward spouse if they cannot take the heat because you will get called out.

I know that things will not change if you do NOTHING to change things.......

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Marie has left the building...

And will now use the "bullying" she received her to discredit Marriage Builders and demand that her husband give up this resource.

Can see right through her...

The other choice would have been to humble herself and she is not willing to do that. She still feels entitled to her affair because of whatever perceived injuries her husband inflicted.

She doesn't get it.

Lexxxy #2816080 08/21/14 11:55 AM
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Originally Posted By: Lexxxy
Marie has left the building...

And will now use the "bullying" she received her to discredit Marriage Builders and demand that her husband give up this resource.

Can see right through her...

The other choice would have been to humble herself and she is not willing to do that. She still feels entitled to her affair because of whatever perceived injuries her husband inflicted.

She doesn't get it.

And she's still in contact with OM.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Lexxxy #2816083 08/21/14 12:07 PM
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I am leaving the building but I would never discredit the good work Dr. Harley does. If my husband wants to get on here that is fine with me. My only problem with the whole process is the cheaterville site. I just fail to see its usefulness. Exposure is necessary but exposure to those who care about those involved seems much more productive than a cheap disgusting website. I know you all think I am just feeling sorry for myself but that website sent an email to my seventeen year old. After seeing the unbelievable change in my husband she had to read disgusting things about her mother written by her dad. How do you think they made her feel? I fully admit he would have never had to do it if I had been the wife and mother they deserve but part of being a parent is protecting your children. Believe it or not my children love me too. They were devastated to see that stuff in print. Obviously I should have never started this whole post.

MarieMab #2816084 08/21/14 12:15 PM
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You all can rest easy I am not in contact with the other man. I am just going to take a little different approach. Work on my relationship with the amazing one who made me, which in turn will heal the relationship with the one I married. This may not work for everyone but I feel confident in my decision.

MarieMab #2816087 08/21/14 12:22 PM
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Your feelings have lied to you before.
I wouldn't trust them if I were you.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Prisca #2816089 08/21/14 12:26 PM
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You are so right but I know god is faithful and if I had been living a life for god originally I would have never gotten involved in sin. So I can't believe I am wrong about it.

Prisca #2816090 08/21/14 12:27 PM
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Quote:
I know you all think I am just feeling sorry for myself but that website sent an email to my seventeen year old.

Your 17 year old daughter deserves to know the truth about what has happened to her family. You are not protecting her by keeping her in the dark, you are protecting yourself.

She is not devastated by the fact that she was told. She is devastated because of what you did. YOU caused the pain, not your husband, not cheaterville, and certainly not marriage builders. Own it.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Prisca #2816091 08/21/14 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted By: Prisca
Your feelings have lied to you before.
I wouldn't trust them if I were you.


The Bible tells us to "Guard your hearts diligently for out of it comes the issues of life"

MarieMab #2816092 08/21/14 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted By: MarieMab
You are so right but I know god is faithful and if I had been living a life for god originally I would have never gotten involved in sin. So I can't believe I am wrong about it.

Feelings and beliefs are not going to keep you from doing it again. Many, MANY waywards feel sorrow and regret for what they have done, then go on to have another affair.

You must have extraordinary precautions in place to keep it from happening again. It's going to take more than feelings, or even faith in God.

Repentance requires action.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Prisca #2816093 08/21/14 12:35 PM
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If you are serious about ending your affair the first step is to write this letter and give it to your husband to mail to your affair partner:

Originally Posted By: JustUss
(From SAA, page 58)

OM,
I want you to know that out of respect and love for my H and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk with you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that H did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay H for the pain I have caused him, I will do my best to become the wife he has been missing. I care a gread deal for miy family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.

Sincerely,

MarieMab #2816096 08/21/14 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted By: MarieMab
You all can rest easy I am not in contact with the other man. I am just going to take a little different approach. Work on my relationship with the amazing one who made me, which in turn will heal the relationship with the one I married. This may not work for everyone but I feel confident in my decision.


Yikes.

If your BH is reading, I would say to him, be very careful. These are the words of a person who would prefer to search for an option that makes them feel better about themselves vs put work into the marriage.

We have seen this type of deviation before and it never bodes well for the M. frown


Ddays 2007 and 2011
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How to Plan B Correctly
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I have done all this. I am really going to sign off now and not look at this again. I keep getting sucked in. I really only owe anything to those I care for.

MarieMab #2816102 08/21/14 12:52 PM
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If you have done all this, then why are you running?


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

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