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Joined: Oct 2009
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quick question for you experts.

My brother in law is having an affair. My wife and I have been directing my sister in law toward MB -- she has been reading the boards and I have ordered SAA to be delivered this week.

I have always wondered if the exposure has to be done by the betrayed spouse or if some of it can come by assistance. There is one brother who isn't aware and my wife would be happy to bring the situation to his attention. With the goal of getting more support for our sister in law and see if he can have some influence on his brother's decisions.

What other suggestions would the board have for us? We want to help. We don't want infidelity to wreck their family.

We have suggested she start listening to the radio show via the app. We will also encourage her to write the show and perhaps take an opportunity to talk directly with Dr. H and Joyce.

I will not be speaking with her directly about any of it -- that's for my wife and she understands why.

thanks for any pointers!

Optimism and Nature Girl.


Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01)
Divorce from WW final 9/16/10.
Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10)
Mine: S(16), D(11)
NatureGirls: S(23), D(21)
Another EA Story
Joined: Apr 2001
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Dr. Harley recently addressed this issue with a mother whose daughter, a betrayed wife, would not expose. Dr H told the mother to go ahead and send out exposure letters and do it for her daughter. So to answer your question, yes she should tell the brother.

I am assuming this is NG's sister? Hopefully, she can persuade her to exposure the affair using the tactics outlined in my exposure thread. That is her very best chance at saving her marriage. Marriages that don't follow these exposure steps are very, very hard to save because the secrecy fuels the affair.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Nov 2010
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Here's the radio clip that Dr. Harley answered this (the one that MelodyLane is talking about).

Radio Clip


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.




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