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Thread Jack: just wanted to say it is great to see MindMonkey posting here, and apparently doing well...
You have much to offer, MM
End t/j.
Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
Presently on the Recovery Road, in the Online program.
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Thread Jack: just wanted to say it is great to see MindMonkey posting here, and apparently doing well...
You have much to offer, MM
End t/j. Indeed. Update your thread dude. Let us know how it's going.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
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I saw the doctor this morning and was prescribed Prozac and Xanax. I've already filled the prescriptions and taken the first dose of the AD. I go back in three weeks for a follow up.
Last edited by FightTheFight; 09/04/14 09:16 AM.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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I saw the doctor this morning and was prescribed Prozac and Xanax. I've already filled the prescriptions and taken the first dose of the AD. I go back in three weeks for a follow up. Good deal. Be sure and pass the information about what you are taking to Dr. Harley.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I saw the doctor this morning and was prescribed Prozac and Xanax. I've already filled the prescriptions and taken the first dose of the AD. I go back in three weeks for a follow up. Good deal. Be sure and pass the information about what you are taking to Dr. Harley. I sent an email to our coach with the info.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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I don't want to but into FC's thread, but they told her it might take 3 to 5 days to get the prescription thing worked out for her. That seems a little unreasonable to me.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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And the Xanax has done the most good for me so far. I didn't realize how crazy I was getting. It's really calmed me down.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
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Xanax had helped me tremendously in the past. What I had thought was depression, my therapist had actually identified it as anxiety. I had never realized that anxiety could play a role in depression. Glad you are getting help on both fronts.
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Xanax had helped me tremendously in the past. What I had thought was depression, my therapist had actually identified it as anxiety. I had never realized that anxiety could play a role in depression. Glad you are getting help on both fronts. I did some reading and they tend to go hand in hand. I think the plan is for it to be a temporary solution until the ADs kick in.
Last edited by FightTheFight; 09/05/14 12:06 PM.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
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I'm sometimes one day behind on listening to the radio show because I listen on my phone at work on breaks and at lunch mostly. So I think this was yesterday's show I was listening to.
The call from "Jennifer" really got to me. Usually I can deal with hearing the stories, but the pain in the lady's voice was haunting. Kind of keeps things in perspective when trying to post help to others here.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
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I agree. Her pain broke my heart. I am thankful that I don't feel that kind of pain anymore. Time has faded it to a dull ache.
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How do I tell if the AD medication is working? Is it supposed to be obvious? I can't tell if it's doing anything or not yet.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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It takes a little while; you might check with your doctor based on the specific drug you are taking. The first thing I noticed was an odd sense of detachment.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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The reason she is lax about precautions is because her marriage is unfulfilling and she just DOESN'T CARE. After four years of talking about precautions and affairs but not BUILDING A GREAT MARRIAGE it is probably clear to her that that will be put off indefinitely and will never happen. Precautions didn't get her the marriage she always needed, and Marriage Builders always seemed to be about repayment for the affair instead of building a great marriage, so what did Marriage Builders ever actually do that benefited her? NADA. ZIP. ZERO. ZILCH.
There is nothing at all in it for her, so why should she follow any MB principles? I wonder if FC feels this way?
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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Joined: Jan 2010
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The reason she is lax about precautions is because her marriage is unfulfilling and she just DOESN'T CARE. After four years of talking about precautions and affairs but not BUILDING A GREAT MARRIAGE it is probably clear to her that that will be put off indefinitely and will never happen. Precautions didn't get her the marriage she always needed, and Marriage Builders always seemed to be about repayment for the affair instead of building a great marriage, so what did Marriage Builders ever actually do that benefited her? NADA. ZIP. ZERO. ZILCH.
There is nothing at all in it for her, so why should she follow any MB principles? I wonder if FC feels this way? It's possible. I know that's very similar to how Prisca felt. The things she wanted to do and talk about never seemed to be about building our relationship; only about surviving and coexisting. UA time seemed to be a chore for her. One of the major things that fixed it was for me to learn how to have UA time that really was the escape and enjoyment she needed. It had to be wonderful and I had to be there. It had to be primarily for her, basically "slanted toward her" as I remember Dr. Harley saying in a radio show with you and FC last year. (I hasten to add that it wasn't slanted in a way that was a sacrifice for me. But the primary purpose of UA time is for the wife. A typical man's emotional needs don't actually take that big of a time investment to meet. So the reason we are spending all this time is for our wives.)
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Just an update. The medication seem to be helping. Yesterday was the first day since I started taking them that I fell into an emotional hole, but today I am back out of it. So recovery was faster. I believe the episode yesterday was triggered by some infidelity in a TV show we are watching together. I still wasn't able to talk with her about it though.
FC seems to be a different person now too. I think her ADs are helping as well.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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I'm glad you are doing well
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Just an update. The medication seem to be helping. Yesterday was the first day since I started taking them that I fell into an emotional hole, but today I am back out of it. So recovery was faster. I believe the episode yesterday was triggered by some infidelity in a TV show we are watching together. I still wasn't able to talk with her about it though.
FC seems to be a different person now too. I think her ADs are helping as well. For quite a while, whenever infidelity came on a TV show, we either agreed to change the channel or at times I would find something I needed to do in another room. Usually, we changed the channel because neither H nor I like to see/hear about infidelity on TV shows. AM
Last edited by armymama; 09/22/14 02:14 PM.
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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It's Battlestar Galactica (2004 series) that we never saw originally, but is available via Netflix. I don't want to abandon the show entirely because I want to know what is going to happen. We're almost 3/4 of the way through it. Nobody spill the beans if you've seen it!
We both talked with our coach today and I believe we have a way to handle it that will make us both feel closer.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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Joined: May 2008
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It's Battlestar Galactica (2004 series) that we never saw originally, but is available via Netflix. I don't want to abandon the show entirely because I want to know what is going to happen. We're almost 3/4 of the way through it. Nobody spill the beans if you've seen it!
We both talked with our coach today and I believe we have a way to handle it that will make us both feel closer. Excellent approach! AM
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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