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Okay,
I just listened to the show.
Dr. Harleys exact words were: "I am neutral on the subject. I wouldn't encourage or discourage posting on exposure websites"
He then elaborated that in some circumstances posting on the internet can be very helpful.
This forum has seen several affairs busted up after thorough exposure including internet exposure.
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Okay,
I just listened to the show.
Dr. Harleys exact words were: "I am neutral on the subject. I wouldn't encourage or discourage posting on exposure websites"
He then elaborated that in some circumstances posting on the internet can be very helpful.
This forum has seen several affairs busted up after thorough exposure including internet exposure. And he clarified that he would expose the affair partner on such sites, not your own spouse, if it's the show I'm thinking of.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Given that exposure, in general, absolutely involves id-ing your spouse on social media fora such as FB, and to employers and potentially broad networks, I am not clear why Cheaterville would be an exception. Presumably, the WW or WH could be listed there by the AP's spouse and that would be entirely justified.
Is it a resentment issue? Does it come across as punitive? Why the more tentative approach?
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Given that exposure, in general, absolutely involves id-ing your spouse on social media fora such as FB, and to employers and potentially broad networks, I am not clear why Cheaterville would be an exception. Presumably, the WW or WH could be listed there by the AP's spouse and that would be entirely justified. I am not sure how you equate cheaterville to a standard exposure that might include select contacts on an OP's Facebook page [via private message], an employer [via private letter] and private emails and phone calls to the WS's family and close friends. That seems like a huge stretch to me. The main goal of exposure of the affair to the WS's contacts is to a) end the affair and/or b) garner support from close family/friends. In other words, it is not meant to be punitive and exposing one's spouse on cheaterville seems punitive because it does not meet either of those goals. The goal of exposing the OP is to run him off so the tactics used there will be more aggressive.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Given that exposure, in general, absolutely involves id-ing your spouse on social media fora such as FB, and to employers and potentially broad networks, I am not clear why Cheaterville would be an exception. Presumably, the WW or WH could be listed there by the AP's spouse and that would be entirely justified.
Is it a resentment issue? Does it come across as punitive? Why the more tentative approach? You should listen to the show (BH posted the link) for Dr. Harley's explanation.
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Given that exposure, in general, absolutely involves id-ing your spouse on social media fora such as FB, and to employers and potentially broad networks, I am not clear why Cheaterville would be an exception. Presumably, the WW or WH could be listed there by the AP's spouse and that would be entirely justified.
Is it a resentment issue? Does it come across as punitive? Why the more tentative approach? Did you listen to the show? Radio Clip
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Given that exposure, in general, absolutely involves id-ing your spouse on social media fora such as FB, and to employers and potentially broad networks, I am not clear why Cheaterville would be an exception. Presumably, the WW or WH could be listed there by the AP's spouse and that would be entirely justified.
Is it a resentment issue? Does it come across as punitive? Why the more tentative approach? Did you listen to the show? Radio ClipYep.
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OP
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FYI, Jedi. Dr Bill Harley on his Radio Show early this week (I think it was Monday's show 08/25/2014) advises against posting on Cheaterville. Just wanted to make everyone aware. No, You are mistaken. Dr. Harley supports exposure and encourages internet exposure. The fine line is that he doesnt endorse any particular exposure website. Jedi et al I respectfully disagree. I tried to re-listen to the segment, but the link posted here is not working for me. Perhaps a complete transcript of the segment would be helpful to put it into context. As I recall, he (and Joyce) were pretty clear that posting on Cheaterville was not recommended by a spouse.
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As I recall, he (and Joyce) were pretty clear that posting on Cheaterville was not recommended by a spouse. By this they meant that they did not recommend posting your own spouse on these sites. If you are trying to Plan A, that would be detrimental. However, they added that in some circumstances, internet exposure could be helpful - meaning exposing the affair partner, not your own spouse.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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[
Jedi et al
I respectfully disagree. I tried to re-listen to the segment, but the link posted here is not working for me. Perhaps a complete transcript of the segment would be helpful to put it into context. As I recall, he (and Joyce) were pretty clear that posting on Cheaterville was not recommended by a spouse. What he said is that he does not advocate posting one's OWN spouse on cheaterville. He stated that he is "neutral" about posting the OP there but agreed that it could be beneficial.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You misheard, Wallflower. I listened to the show, too, and agree with what jedi, melody and sugarcane have said. You don't post your own spouse on the site, but posting the OP is just fine.
Last edited by Prisca; 09/03/14 10:17 PM.
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What is going on with DD and WH, Wallflower?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I don't know why the previous link isn't working so here are the separate links. Radio Clip Segment #2 Segment #3
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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