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email to Dr. Harley:
Hello,
I have a question: I have often heard Dr. Harley state that angry outbursts cause temporary insanity.
I recall Dr. Harley sharing with Radio Listeners how as a young man he was working on his car and lost his temper and started beating the car.
I understand people behave irrationally when they lose their temper.
I've also read that people lose their memory of actions they commit during an angry outburst.
But are they really "temporarily insane?"
If so, it seems that every criminal that lost his temper could have Dr. Harley certify that they were insane and get out of jail.
How common is it for people to lose their memory of acts they commit while in an angry outburst?
Thank you,
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Joined: Jan 2010
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Here is what Dr. Harley says about memory and Angry Outbursts in Five Steps to Romantic Love. I believe he's also said essentially the same thing on the radio: since the one with the angry outburst often forgets details of the episode (and sometimes forgets it altogether), the spouse who had to endure the outburst is the best witness, and his or her memory should be taken as the most reliable Given that Dr. Harley classifies angry outbursts as temporary insanity, I would assume Dr. Harley does not feel that temporary insanity should be an ironclad defense against criminal behavior. He sounds like a man who believes in holding people accountable, to me.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,574 Likes: 1
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It is totally insane how these folks behave. I think it's especially telling that folks with angry outbursts still have full control over their behavior. That is, they will not take action that would get attention of or harm neighbors, coworkers, and so on. They still lose their tempers in a way that only terrorizes the folks they have a responsibility to protect. For example the women who are mad at their children at Walmart but don't start beating on those kids until they get them in the bathroom or the car, where there is no one to see or intervene. I am so beyond grateful that I have used the tools here to 100% stop losing it with my own kids, and haven't had an AO at all in well over a year.
Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010
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Joined: Oct 2005
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That entitlement that Prisca talked about on Ernie's thread is so key in understanding this dynamic as well. AOers fully believe they have every right to act out to a certain point.
Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010
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Dr. Harley addressed this topic in his Radio Show today.
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Joined: Nov 2010
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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