So before I get attacked with the previous advice that I had trouble following though on. I am still suffering and I need to vent. Things have taken an odd twist. I have nobody to talk to. I can't talk to my husband because of him being such a liar.

Really I want to leave. I've tried to get myself stable but something always knocks me down. Jobs not working out, no child care, i homeschool my children, hard to find work with no experience. I'm trying to begin my own business so I can do things on my terms. I actually had a good savings going on. But I had some family who was in a problem and loaned them my money and never paid me back. It's been over a year.

Well my issue right now aside from being unable to leave.

Might sound retarded. But we have needs. And I'm not going to just go anywhere no matter how bad things are, I'm still married. My husband is still working away from home 2 weeks at a time. The only time I hear from him is between 10 pm to midnight. And that's only for him to say how tired he is and he's falling asleep. His shift is over at 6.

He has been hanging out with new people. Been going to his friends house constantly. If he's home he's either asleep, on his phone, or working on something in the garage. I've pretty much let myself go. I rarely put makeup on or dressed because I don't see the point. I don't go anywhere. Well he use to bug me about sex non stop. Made me feel guilty if I didn't. Now he can't keep an erection. If he can it goes away during.

I was considering ED. But I read that men with ED don't get morning you know what. He does for sure. I'm not sure if it's me or if he's cheating in some way. I'm already planning on denying him if he tries. I'm so disgusted and upset over these thoughts.

Sorry I don't have time to go back and read your other thread.

Is he ever going to stop working away from home? What's the reason he won't find a job where you're at or you move there?

He's probably also looking at porn.

You have been married for about 4 years and had problems since Day 1.
Your problems are from living together for 10 years. Your husband is not committed to what most people would call a healthy marriage and you are so accustomed to living in this type of a relationship that you refuse to leave.

Actually, needing to vent is more of an urban legend. It does feel really good to have someone to talk to about your problems. But not venting does not cause psychological damage.

Unfortunately, staying in a bad marriage long term DOES cause real damage.

In all the time you've been here, Dr. Harley has been on the radio day in and day out teaching people how to deal with all kinds of marital situations, including yours. It's like a free class. I would encourage you to commit to attending that class (listening to the show) daily, because it will start to give you lots more ideas on how to help your situation.

Two other things that will help:
See your doctor about getting antidepressants prescribed short term. This will help get your emotions out of the way so you can problem-solve.
Find a local women's shelter and see if they can point you toward some free help (programs, etc.) to get you capable of supporting yourself.