So after telling my husband over and over about things. He claims he doesn't understand even after saying it as many times I can in different ways. I finally flat out said I want a divorce. I was very firm. He tried to switch the blame on me of course which just angered me even more. We spent the day separate. Then this evening for a few minutes he acted like nothing happened. I stood my ground and kept my distance.

Now I don't know what to do. But I can't go on anymore.

Why did you start a new thread? WE have no idea what your story is.

Ask the mods to merge threads by clicking notify. You sound so sad! But no idea why.

I joined a long time ago. I quit posting because I wasn't leaving my husband despite everyone telling me to. I gave up because of that.

So I'll try to tell my story as short as I can.
I been with my husband almost 11 years we been married 3 and a half. I didn't want to marry him because of trouble we were having. I got pregnant shortly after we met. He drank and partied a lot. His friends and fun was more important than anything. I tried everything to get his attention but always failed. I left him and moved in with my parents. He wouldn't leave me alone. Swore he would change. He still went out, said he quit drinking, went to meetings. We finally got a place together I thought things would get better. In some areas it did. He got promoted in his job which was good financially but bad on the relationship. I was tired of being alone but learned to deal with it. About a year after he was working about 6 hrs from home. I rarely talked to him. He said he was too busy to call or text. I went to stay at his work a few days. I was questionable about a waitress at a restaurant he always went to. When she saw me she looked shocked and quit serving us and had another waitress do it. Tired of being at home I got a job. And my husband was excited over MySpace. He was constantly on it and encouraged me to get an account. I was curious. I saw he was constantly flirting with an old female friend. I figured out his password and got on. I saw all the friend requests he sent out to over 20 females. Some of his messages he was telling the girls to call him daddy. I saw he was also getting their phone numbers. Suddenly he quit using MySpace and was constantly checking his email. So I got even more suspicious over what he was doing. So when he left for work I checked his email. He was messaging an ex girlfriend who apparently never got over him. I kept my mouth shut and kept checking. Waiting for something more. And one night he called me really distressed. I calmed him down. I got on his email and as I was on there he was writing to her. He told her he still regretted he didn't do her in the park that last night. I called him 3 times and he didn't answer. The next day he said his phone was off. I went to work and looked at all the phone bills and saw all these out of town numbers. 6 of them were females. I just claimed I dialed the wrong number. I noticed one girl he would talk to on his way to work for 1-2 hrs. And texted her non stop. I then opened all his credit card statements. Saw a bunch of bar tabs, expensive restaurants, cab rides, and oriental massage places. He always told me he couldn't leave location. So I planned on moving out. I confronted him and he denied everything. I asked him why. He said if he told me the truth I'd flip out. He cancelled his statements in the mail. I said if he had nothing to hide why did he do that? Cuz he was mad. Well my mom passed away 3 months later. I was really messed up, then I was pregnant a month later. I had no insurance. So we got married real quick to get me on his insurance. I felt even more stuck because my mom was my only support. Tried to work through it all but I had shut down from the pain he caused me. He'd try but then throw his efforts in my face saying he doesn't get credit and I don't even try. Fast forward. He still works out of town. Honestly I'm happier with him gone now. He started to get into motorcycles and moved up to a Harley to fit in with his new friends. I'm unhappy. And most of all I am lonely. When he's home I shutter the thought of intimacy. Recently he's had erection problems. So I question even more. When he's home we don't talk unless it's about things related to the house or kids. He spends a lot of time on his phone. Or he sleeps. Or works on his bike. Or takes off on rides with his friends. He can plan things with everyone else but me. I just can't take it anymore. If I bring it up he says I only get upset when he wants to do something. This summer for 2 months I took a dance class in the morning for an hour 2 days a week and would come home right after. He throws that in my face because he didn't say anything to me when I'd go dance. I'm a stay at home mom with 3 kids. I homeschool 2 of them. I'm always home unless I go shop for household stuff or groceries. I never get to leave. I never have privacy. I don't get any me time. I've just had it. It's like me and my husband are room mates that happen to have kids together and occasionally have sex. I just can't go on like this anymore. So I told him I want a divorce. But I just don't know what to do now. I have no other place to go and he will be home till Wednesday. I don't want to be here. I don't want to look at him. He took off this morning on his bike around 6:30 am. It's 3 now. I have no idea where he went. It just sucks living like this.