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you are victimizing your wife terribly by manipulating her into staying into a marriage for the good of someone else (you) and not her.
Don't try to justify it by parading your children out shield her wounded, mangled body bleeding in the ditch. You put her there, you offer her the hand out (i.e. the truth). Big Dave, I don't see where you addressed this?
Are you living in a covenant with death? With bitterness in your marriage? Read Isaiah 28. The bed will not be long enough or the covers wide enough for you to ever find comfort in that life. In Isaiah 28, God tells you to take a stick and beat these conditions out of your life.
Isaiah 28:29 "This [command] also cometh forth from the Lord of hosts, which is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working."
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you need to give your wife the truth about the way you are draining the time out of her life for your selfish purposes under a big fat lie. Or this.
Are you living in a covenant with death? With bitterness in your marriage? Read Isaiah 28. The bed will not be long enough or the covers wide enough for you to ever find comfort in that life. In Isaiah 28, God tells you to take a stick and beat these conditions out of your life.
Isaiah 28:29 "This [command] also cometh forth from the Lord of hosts, which is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working."
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My point is that you don't NEED to see any statistics to know right from wrong, which is the basis of this discussion. It is a needless distraction to this thread, whether you are "analytical"  or not. We can keep going in a circle if you would like. I already admitted I don't need the information to make my decision. I am curious, and it appears he has the info I can't find via Google. I'm not sure why you got so caught up on me wanting information.  I can't get my parents to take the kids on this short of notice, so I have a few hours to make sure of what I choose.
Online sex sites for five years
3 year online affair
Rededicated to wife and trying to make it work
Dday - several (most were her suspicions but never verified)
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you are victimizing your wife terribly by manipulating her into staying into a marriage for the good of someone else (you) and not her.
Don't try to justify it by parading your children out shield her wounded, mangled body bleeding in the ditch. You put her there, you offer her the hand out (i.e. the truth). Big Dave, I don't see where you addressed this? The post stating I'm considering telling her tomorrow night when my parents can take the kids overnight.
Online sex sites for five years
3 year online affair
Rededicated to wife and trying to make it work
Dday - several (most were her suspicions but never verified)
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Posts: 45
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you need to give your wife the truth about the way you are draining the time out of her life for your selfish purposes under a big fat lie. Or this. Same answer.
Online sex sites for five years
3 year online affair
Rededicated to wife and trying to make it work
Dday - several (most were her suspicions but never verified)
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 863
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you are victimizing your wife terribly by manipulating her into staying into a marriage for the good of someone else (you) and not her.
Don't try to justify it by parading your children out shield her wounded, mangled body bleeding in the ditch. You put her there, you offer her the hand out (i.e. the truth). Big Dave, I don't see where you addressed this? The post stating I'm considering telling her tomorrow night when my parents can take the kids overnight. Well, I just see your follow up post still talks about you and what you are considering. Do you understand how you are robbing her of every day that you have not told her? You have stolen the last 5 years of her life with false pretenses, nearly 2,000 days of her life that she will NEVER get back?
Last edited by Sunnytimes; 09/24/14 05:04 PM.
Are you living in a covenant with death? With bitterness in your marriage? Read Isaiah 28. The bed will not be long enough or the covers wide enough for you to ever find comfort in that life. In Isaiah 28, God tells you to take a stick and beat these conditions out of your life.
Isaiah 28:29 "This [command] also cometh forth from the Lord of hosts, which is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working."
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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My point is that you don't NEED to see any statistics to know right from wrong, which is the basis of this discussion. It is a needless distraction to this thread, whether you are "analytical" or not. We can keep going in a circle if you would like. I already admitted I don't need the information to make my decision. I am curious, and it appears he has the info I can't find via Google. Then why not drop it and stick to the issue at hand? Don't you have enough on your plate currently? I can't get my parents to take the kids on this short of notice, so I have a few hours to make sure of what I choose. Does this mean you have called your parents to get your kids? Of course, the kids can be there when you tell her. Because the kids should be told too. You do plan on telling the kids, right?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[
The post stating I'm considering telling her tomorrow night when my parents can take the kids overnight. Why do the kids need to be gone? This is information about their lives too.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My point is that you don't NEED to see any statistics to know right from wrong, which is the basis of this discussion. It is a needless distraction to this thread, whether you are "analytical" or not. We can keep going in a circle if you would like. I already admitted I don't need the information to make my decision. I am curious, and it appears he has the info I can't find via Google. Then why not drop it and stick to the issue at hand? Don't you have enough on your plate currently? I can't get my parents to take the kids on this short of notice, so I have a few hours to make sure of what I choose. Does this mean you have called your parents to get your kids? Of course, the kids can be there when you tell her. Because the kids should be told too. You do plan on telling the kids, right? Why not drop it? I asked for info and you turned it into a capital case. It's not mine to drop. I called my parents and they are taking the kids tomorrow night. It will be my wife's call if the kids are told or not, they are quite young. If I tell her and she goes into a major crying episode in front of them, she will be pi**ed I didn't arrange for them to be elsewhere.
Online sex sites for five years
3 year online affair
Rededicated to wife and trying to make it work
Dday - several (most were her suspicions but never verified)
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"If I tell her and she goes into a major crying episode in front of them"
How compassionate of you. Not "if I have broken her heart so badly" or "if I have cause such grief to her"....
I actually see almost no thought or empathy towards your wife in any of your comments.
They are all about you.
You have no idea the turmoil someone goes through thinking their husband is having an affair but unable to prove it. Eventually it preoccupies almost every minute of their day and is a horrible health danger and high stressor.
You really don't show much care about her in your posts- just about you.
Are you living in a covenant with death? With bitterness in your marriage? Read Isaiah 28. The bed will not be long enough or the covers wide enough for you to ever find comfort in that life. In Isaiah 28, God tells you to take a stick and beat these conditions out of your life.
Isaiah 28:29 "This [command] also cometh forth from the Lord of hosts, which is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working."
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you are victimizing your wife terribly by manipulating her into staying into a marriage for the good of someone else (you) and not her.
Don't try to justify it by parading your children out shield her wounded, mangled body bleeding in the ditch. You put her there, you offer her the hand out (i.e. the truth). Big Dave, I don't see where you addressed this? The post stating I'm considering telling her tomorrow night when my parents can take the kids overnight. Well, I just see your follow up post still talks about you and what you are considering. Do you understand how you are robbing her of every day that you have not told her? You have stolen the last 5 years of her life with false pretenses, nearly 2,000 days of her life that she will NEVER get back? It is honestly what I am hung up on. I want to make sure what I'm hearing here is the best advice. Do you believe it is wrong to take one day to make this decision?
Online sex sites for five years
3 year online affair
Rededicated to wife and trying to make it work
Dday - several (most were her suspicions but never verified)
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Why not drop it? I asked for info and you turned it into a capital case. It's not mine to drop. You are still talking about it.  called my parents and they are taking the kids tomorrow night. It will be my wife's call if the kids are told or not, they are quite young. If I tell her and she goes into a major crying episode in front of them, she will be pi**ed I didn't arrange for them to be elsewhere. You can wait until they go to bed tonight. And I would strongly encourage you to encourage HER to tell them all about your affairs. [it really should come from her anyway] Your affairs have affected their lives very much.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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It is honestly what I am hung up on. I want to make sure what I'm hearing here is the best advice. Do you believe it is wrong to take one day to make this decision? You don't know if lying and manipulating someone is the wrong thing to do and need someone to "advise" you on that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"If I tell her and she goes into a major crying episode in front of them"
How compassionate of you. Not "if I have broken her heart so badly" or "if I have cause such grief to her"....
I actually see almost no thought or empathy towards your wife in any of your comments.
They are all about you.
You have no idea the turmoil someone goes through thinking their husband is having an affair but unable to prove it. Eventually it preoccupies almost every minute of their day and is a horrible health danger and high stressor.
You really don't show much care about her in your posts- just about you. I know that it will be my doing. I was trying to point out that my wife will not want our kids to see her like that, because Melody acted like it was obvious they should be there. It is not obvious as they are young and my wife would not want them there to see it. As for your other thoughts. You have a flare for the dramatic, and that's fine, but it makes me take what you say less seriously than other members.
Online sex sites for five years
3 year online affair
Rededicated to wife and trying to make it work
Dday - several (most were her suspicions but never verified)
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Posts: 45
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Why not drop it? I asked for info and you turned it into a capital case. It's not mine to drop. You are still talking about it. called my parents and they are taking the kids tomorrow night. It will be my wife's call if the kids are told or not, they are quite young. If I tell her and she goes into a major crying episode in front of them, she will be pi**ed I didn't arrange for them to be elsewhere. You can wait until they go to bed tonight. And I would strongly encourage you to encourage HER to tell them all about your affairs. [it really should come from her anyway] Your affairs have affected their lives very much. As I said, that will be up to her. You don't know if lying and manipulating someone is the wrong thing to do and need someone to "advise" you on that? If I (and every other cheater) could see my way out of the mess I created, sites like this wouldn't be needed.
Online sex sites for five years
3 year online affair
Rededicated to wife and trying to make it work
Dday - several (most were her suspicions but never verified)
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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As for your other thoughts. You have a flare for the dramatic, and that's fine, but it makes me take what you say less seriously than other members. Dave, comments like this make you look insincere and like you don't take this very seriously. Can you convince me I am wrong?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[ You don't know if lying and manipulating someone is the wrong thing to do and need someone to "advise" you on that? If I (and every other cheater) could see my way out of the mess I created, sites like this wouldn't be needed. Most cheaters don't need to be "advised" that deceiving and manipulating their spouses is wrong, though. When they come here they know that.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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As for your other thoughts. You have a flare for the dramatic, and that's fine, but it makes me take what you say less seriously than other members. Dave, comments like this make you look insincere and like you don't take this very seriously. Can you convince me I am wrong? I'm here for my marriage. I'm not here to convince you of anything. My view has changed dramatically from even this morning. If you aren't convinced I'm sincere or looking for helpful answers from me being willing to take a new look, my words about how I feel about dramatic posts won't change your mind either.
Online sex sites for five years
3 year online affair
Rededicated to wife and trying to make it work
Dday - several (most were her suspicions but never verified)
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Posts: 45
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[ You don't know if lying and manipulating someone is the wrong thing to do and need someone to "advise" you on that? If I (and every other cheater) could see my way out of the mess I created, sites like this wouldn't be needed. Most cheaters don't need to be "advised" that deceiving and manipulating their spouses is wrong, though. When they come here they know that. And they all do exactly as you say, as soon as you say it, without thought or consideration? I have yet to tell any of you that you are wrong or stupid. I am taking in everything that is said and giving it intense thought. I apologize if that is offensive.
Online sex sites for five years
3 year online affair
Rededicated to wife and trying to make it work
Dday - several (most were her suspicions but never verified)
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I'm here for my marriage. I'm not here to convince you of anything. My view has changed dramatically from even this morning. If you aren't convinced I'm sincere or looking for helpful answers from me being willing to take a new look, my words about how I feel about dramatic posts won't change your mind either. We will SEE if you are here for your marriage. I sure hope that is true. But that has not been established yet. Sincerity is demonstrated by actions, not snide little posts on the internet.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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