Dave,

Did you even mention the list of extraordinary precautions and no contact letter? Did you commit to changing into a good man?

AM

You said she "took it away" as if you are entitled to continued unconditional intimacy and physical love in marriage. But really we aren't. Women need certain conditions in order to feel enthusiastic about physical intimacy. You usually have to meet her emotional needs in order for her to feel enthusiastic about meeting yours. Dr. Harley has some articles about this subject.

Simply being legally married does not mean that sex from your wife is "yours" and that if she doesn't have sex with you she is "taking" from you. It has to happen on HER terms. Obviously you didn't meet her terms.

That's pretty common. Many, many husbands do not understand their wives' emotional needs and don't know how to meet them or how to learn how to meet them. Many are simply blind to that reality. Fortunately there is a great program called Marriage Builders that teaches the skills and habits involved.

Yep. Send your wife here so we can understand her terms and help you find out if there's any way you can meet them or not.

Then don't take her kids.

I didn't get the info before she got home. So no, I didn't.

I'll give her the link tonight after we tell the kids.

First off, they are NOT HER kids, they are OUR kids. Second, I will do what is necessary so they have the adult that does the vast majority of the caretaking in their lives the most often.

If you wanted to do what was necessary, you would have NOT HAD AFFAIRS.

I'm not impressed with your sudden "desire" to
"do right" by your kids. They don't need the adult who is the primary caretaker. They need a parent who didn't destroy their family.

You are extremely self-centered, which most waywards are. If you truly care for her and don't want to see her in pain -- if you want to do what is right -- then don't take her kids (and they are just as much hers as they are yours. There is no longer an "our." You destroyed that).

You are NOT the best judge of what is in their best interest. After all, you have single handedly destroyed their family. You have a long pattern of operating in your own selfish interest while sacrificing the best interest of others. You continue to do this to this very day.

You are a dangerous person to your wife and your children. A corrupt parent is not a good parent. If I were her, I would fight for limited, supervised visitation with your children.

Well , then just tell her your demands. 'Put up with my sorry cheating [censored] or I will sue you for the custody of the kids."

Explain to her that she is responsible for your cheating and if she had sex more often then you wouldn't be forced to cheat. If she doesn't like it, tough.

But before you do that, you need to think of what works best in the past. Does she like you to come to her with watery eyes and feed her some "I love you and I'm sorry" nonsense or does she respond better to "Its my way or the highway?"

Is that a trick question?

Yup. If I were here I would turn your "carektaker" argument to demonstrate to the court that you wanted to be home so you could conduct your online sexting and affairs while she cluelessly went off to work. Probably she wouldn't have agreed to you being the "caretaker" had she known what you were up to.

Hopefully she doesn't go along with your plan and allow your waywardness to rub off on the children - selfishness, dishonesty, entitlement...which this thread reeks of.

Yikes.

According to Dave, this is all her fault because she didn;t have sex with him.
He isnt responsible for anything

Yup. If I were here I would turn your "carektaker" argument to demonstrate to the court that you wanted to be home so you could conduct your online sexting and affairs while she cluelessly went off to work. Probably she wouldn't have agreed to you being the "caretaker" had she known what you were up to.
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Agree.

This sounds so familiar.

My WxH was also "self employed/work from home" and carried on with an affair and other corrupt behaviors. A very corrupt man who also stated he was going to fight for primary custody of the children. He lost.

Wonder if he will try using that argument in court!

People use that argument in court all the time.
I remember when I was a kid there was a man that was a murderer and he told the court that the Twinkie donuts he ate made him commit the crime.

So are you willing to commit to the EP's and send a NC letter? When are you going to be offering this option to your wife?

Thank you!

I sent her the info and the thread title. She said she would take a look, but she was mad as all get out. She doesn't like the idea of airing dirty laundry in public. I got an ear full and then some.

She said if she thought there was any point she would post, but she isn't a fan.

Let her know that we will support her in forming a new life without you if that is what she chooses.