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#2821845 10/01/14 07:59 AM
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For those divorced, are you happier now? Any regrets? Are the children handling it well?
For those divorced from a fWS, were you able to move on and forget the affair?

I'm emotionally ready, but have to find a job and a means to support myself and the kids first before I take any legal steps. I just want to make sure it is the right thing to do.

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Happier? hmm no answer yet, but I've only been divorced for 3 months from WH.
Peaceful, yes, because I have no contact with him, Plan B. so because of that, maybe happier.
Sometimes I wonder though what would have happened if I hadn't pushed the D through. But I know it would have just been more of the same. A friend of a friend chased her WH for 5 years, and he finally came back, I hear they are "ok". I couldn't take it for 5 years though, and I wonder if they will ever be great.
Forget? No. I have to reconcile myself with his affair either way, and so will you. I hear it takes time and space.
My kids still want him to come home. they are excited to go with him for visitation because he gets them legos EVERY TIME. But they can't really think of another reason why they like to go with him. It's pretty sad.
I started college full time, it's crazy busy with 4 young kids but I feel good about having a direction and accomplishing goals, and taking care of my family's future. Stay busy!
Hugs to you!


Me: BW 33

Kids 11, 8, 6, 18 months
DDay 1/22/13
Plan B 6/21/13 long overdue
broke Plan B august 2013, my mistake
Divorce 6/30/14

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I'm waaaay happier, have no regrets about divorcing him and my children have handled the divorce pretty well. The kids miss seeing their dad (mostly my daughter) but as they have gotten older they are busy with their friends and school. My kids have never been clingy so I am sure that helped. With the exception of summer break, they don't see him often since ExWH lives in another state.

I will never forget the affairs but I don't think about them like I once did...nor my exWH. Other than issues with the children, we don't speak. 95% of our communication is by email or text.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I didn't even comprehend until he was out of the house how much better life could be. I had to keep working on these tools here, because my whole life was messed up, not just my marriage. My kids, extended family, and work were all running me over all the time. My life wouldn't have changed as much for the better as it did if I had just replaced xH with the next guy who came along, and kept up the over giving and putting my health last. Even if I never remarry, my life is so rich, and I count my blessings every day.

Ever, I am hoping that your situation will be like one of the success stories, where plan B leads to reconciliation and setting the bar high for your family.


Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010
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I'm not happier. I loved being married.
I have lots of regrets (like not going to my H's work to meet for lunch and shmoozing with his coworkers....staking my claim on him).
I have a better life though. I don't have someone else creating my life. I let my ex lead us when we were married and he didn't lead well. I lead better. :-)

My kids accept the situation. They were the ones who were truly betrayed. Their father didn't protect their family. They are doing fairly well considering how they had things go down.

You will survive. Either way, when your future plays out, you do not have to feel like a victim in the end.

You find your strength in adversity and that is golden and priceless.







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Can't edit my post but I wanted to add that I did not divorce a FWS. I divorced a WS.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Originally Posted by Ever2Late
For those divorced, are you happier now? Any regrets? Are the children handling it well?
For those divorced from a fWS, were you able to move on and forget the affair?

I'm emotionally ready, but have to find a job and a means to support myself and the kids first before I take any legal steps. I just want to make sure it is the right thing to do.


Overall, I feel like the horse that I would be happier on the other side of the fence.
But the grass would need to be really greener...it would need to be an MB based marriage.
I would have preferred that to divorce.
But in my case, that was not an option so I chose divorce and am happier than with option B: a cheating wife.

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Originally Posted by Ever2Late
For those divorced, are you happier now? Any regrets? Are the children handling it well?
For those divorced from a fWS, were you able to move on and forget the affair?

I'm emotionally ready, but have to find a job and a means to support myself and the kids first before I take any legal steps. I just want to make sure it is the right thing to do.

I am definetely happier. My only regret is that I didn't see it coming, that I didn't divorce him sooner and that I had 4 kids with him instead of just 1 or 2.

Some of kids are handling it ok (I have 4). A few of them are a wreck. In my situation my ex is manipulative. He sees the kids quite often (actually has primary physical custody of my 2 oldest) and manipulates the kids to hate me. I can't really do anything about it, he even convinced the kids that the counselor he agreed to in the divorce papers was "creepy" and "just saying what I paid him to say". So, how the kids handle it depend on your kids. If it's at all possible you could try getting them into counseling before the divorce so they have someone trusted to talk to during and after.


Me: 39
Married my amazing husband (52) on 2/29/2016

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I have been divorced for 10 years and am much happier. I did not want the divorce and fought very hard to save my marriage but my X had other plans. I truly loved my x-wife but that love faded for me a long time ago.

I will say yes, there are regrets. I don't think you can go through a divorce and not have any.

Several years after the divorce, as the pain subsided, and I learned how to be on my own, I found peace. The peace of not being with a cheating spouse. The peace of being a single parent. The peace of being completely dependent on myself.


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