It is not against the law to tell the truth in any country.

Your lawyer is lazy and wants to throw you under a bus to facilitate an easy agreement instead of working to protect you.

I mean what does he suggest you tell people? That the anti marriage pixies broke you up?

Depend upon it ,she's got her story worked out about you and it will be illegally false and defamatory.

However judging by the amount of spine you've showed do far she could get away with murder on your watch.

It may even be too late to gain her respect. You've let her go to disaster and shown yourself too scared to intervene.

Most women want a husband who can step up.

It's tough to do, but you must take control back and grow a spine.

LTL

Why would this even come up with your lawyer?

Good gravy you didn't ask his permission did you?

It beggars belief that you've allowed the affair to continue just so long as she threw you the odd scrap. Now your wife and her lover are going to tear your family into pieces and youre willing to let your children suffer so long as you get more scraps?

You are asking permission to tell people? To stop it?

Such a thing simply never occurred to me when I exposed. I didn't consider it my lawyer's business what I told people about the marriage!

These forums are full of people who told the people in their lives what was going on and asked for help. No one lost access to their kids for telling the truth.

Isn't it explicitly protected by your constitution over there too!


There is no possible way that doing such a simple thing as telling the truth can lose you access to your children.

That is ridiculous. You can't lose your children for telling truth in a free country. Continually making excuses has got you to this terrible place. Please wake up.

That's complete nonsense.
I, and hundreds of other fathers on these forums, have exposed to our children.
Dr. Harley would not advocate exposure if it endangered your rights

Why are you posting on MB101 vs Surviving an Affair forum?

This is a big red flag of BS denial/fog.

There is a restraining order that prevents me from communicating with my wife through any medium - including third parties. I cannot send out emails asking people to encourage her to leave the affair.

That is one reason why my lawyer has said not to expose it.

I sent another email to Dr. Harley asking for more specific advice - no response yet.

Merged threads and please stick to one thread.

What's the restraining order for?

She has claimed that I'm abusive. She's reading a book called "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft. In that book it has a whole plan on how to divorce someone and one of the things it says is that if a woman can't prove abuse, to file a restraining order, claim her life is in danger as a way of establishing evidence against him. Her claim becomes evidence.

I am not a danger to her. I've been seeing several counselors who have signed statements to that effect. She is being led astray by several friends who are strongly anti-men and pushing this "abusive" agenda.

Another thing the book says is that abusive men will use coercion to convince a woman and manipulate her to get back under their control - so she asked that there be a provision that I cannot communicate with her directly or through a third party.

I am not abusive. I am seeing an abuse counselor to ensure that it is not just my word saying that, but that an expert has evaluated me and that I am under continual evaluation.

Anyway, the restraining order is in place for her - but the one she requested for the kids was not granted. She fled to a women's shelter (again, advice from the book says to do that to lend credence to the claim).

She has been telling all of our common friends for the last six months that she loves me and she wants to restore our marriage, but just doesn't know how. She has been placating everyone who has suggested things she can do. All the while she has been planning these actions. (The papers she filed have financial numbers on them from May - indicating when she filled out paperwork.)

The whole last 5 months that she has been claiming that she loves me and wants to restore our marriage she has been calculating to divorce me.

This is why exposure should have been done. To prevent her stitching you up. Why she's had months to prepare for your downfall and you have just allowed it all and nodded it through!

The restraining order prevents you telling people the truth or simply asking people to contact her?

It is very important that you have a good attorney in this matter.
You would be in a different boat today if you would have first exposed as told to.

You should be able to get the restraining order removed since there is no evidence of danger

I met with the husband of the other woman and have encouraged him to expose his wife. I don't know if he'll do it - but he at least talked to me.

Hosea is too afraid to expose on his own.

Here's your show.
Radio Clip of Hosea1968's call

I have been thrust into Phase B by my wife. What should I be doing to encourage reconciliation?

Can you post on your original thread please?

POSTED 11-12-14

Hosea,

Do you have any intention of following MB based advise?
You were told to expose months ago but refused to.

Listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show every day.