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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
The only thing I know 100% is that she brings him lunch/coffees and that he has confided in her that we are separated. huh? When did you separate??
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Daughters know age appropriate details. What do you call age appropriate details? Do they know that their father committed adultery and is a serial adulterer?
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
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I also filed for divorce when I hadn't for the last 14 years of this sick cycle/drama because of this situation. That's a HUGE step for me. None of the affairs/neglect/mistreatment/trauma made me file but finding out he told this 16 year old we were separated did. divorce is on hold!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 16
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 16 |
The divorce is filed but he hasn't been served yet. My lawyer is waiting for my go ahead.
I'm just stuck.... So which is it? You are waiting on revisions from lawyer or your lawyer is waiting for your go ahead?
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,155
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We understand that your life is in shambles right now. But the only thing that will help you out of this mess is appropriate action. Waffling has brought you nowhere. Regretfully, your husband is of the bolder type. He knows what he wants and tries to get it. Even if there are problems, even if it's a 16-year-old to stoke his ego. Let's hope that's all she strokes.
1.
Your 13-year-old has been kept in the dark long enough about what is going on in her life. Age appropriate does not mean �Mommy and daddy are having some difficulties dear�. She will not take it lightly, that her dad is prying on girls her own age, but she will survive and can be a big influence on him.
2.
Your husband is having the time of his life. A happy family and a bachelor's existence on the side. Who could ask for more? I would think that being married to an intelligent woman like you would come at a somewhat higher price, but hey, who am I?
3.
If you don't let him have it and let him fall hard, he will sink deeper and deeper into the swamp of despicable and illegal behaviour. Honestly, I don't care how you do it, and it might not even be your legal obligation. HOWEVER you have a moral obligation to protect this girl and it might involve an anonymous phone call to the child protection agency. That may be all there is to it.
4.
You are 41, you can still start over. If you wait another 10 years your opportunities will be more limited. Have him served. You can always stall later, but take the plunge for heaven's sake.
5.
What have you got to lose? A husband? You don't even have one, because he sure doesn't care about your feelings. A father for the children? He will have no choice then to continue to be their father anyway. How would you like your daughter to be so subservient to her boyfriend who cheated on her as you are to your husband?
Please stop torturing yourself with this man. You cannot save him. He will have to change and you have not given him a reason yet.
me, DH
5 children
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
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Posts: 7,449 |
Daughters know age appropriate details. What have they been told? Can you answer this, please?
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
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Joined: Oct 2007
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What the heck is WRONG with me? You CHOSE not to change. You don't address and resolve problems. I understand you feel attacked but I hope you will think long and hard about what ML has said to you. This is not normal behavior, confused. I hope you will stay here and answer questions and not leave the forum until some of these issues are resolved.... I am really worried about your girls.
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