Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 15 of 68 1 2 13 14 15 16 17 67 68
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
She talked with him anyway. I told her I didn't want to know. She proceeded to tell me anyway and I had to stop her. The little I heard was interesting, but made no sense, per fog babble.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Just persist. I was walking out of my parents house abruptly for six months before my dad caught on.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
So I got a text from OW because I had sent her dad a letter. It was all about how I caused the affair, etc.

Then my IM gave me a warning that my WH was saying that he was coming home because my daughter needed a dad in the house, but would not meet my conditions.

It seems like the exposure worked.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
So I got a text from OW because I had sent her dad a letter. It was all about how I caused the affair, etc.

Then my IM gave me a warning that my WH was saying that he was coming home because my daughter needed a dad in the house, but would not meet my conditions.

It seems like the exposure worked.
Yup!! They are probably fighting huge fights!!

Good job!!


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Um.
Don't get excited.

Prepare to hold firm to not allowing WH to run the show.









Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by reading
Um.
Don't get excited.

Prepare to hold firm to not allowing WH to run the show.
True that. Their fights aren't anything until there's NC.

Your WH may also think he can gaslight you to take the heat off them. Don't break plan B. He needs to do what you've given him in your plan B letter and ends the affair.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
No they are still in 'let's fight with Piglet not each other' mode. Exposure is causing trouble and they need you back as scapegoat.

You've changed your phone number right? Do so if not and make sure WH doesn't get in and can't break in.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
If the POSOW can text you, then you need to change your number now.

LTL

Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
He has keys doesn't he? If he's coming home your disabled mother won't be able to stop him. Get some deadbolts in place or something.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Yeah, He came in last night. I locked myself in the bedroom with my daughter. He almost broke the door down before leaving. He just kept saying, "we are going to fix this! We are going to fix this!" My mom kept saying, "if you do the things she asked on the list, she will talk to you about coming back. You cannot come back without making her feel safe," which I think was perfect.

I can get a strong inner chain lock and have the lock rekeyed AGAIN.

I blocked her phone number after I got the text with the new iOS operating system, but will change my number as well.

But there is a mix of blame Piglet and rift between them. The letter to her dad sent her over the edge. My note to his boss to not let him sleep in the gym because it enables his affair also made him really mad (because the boss kicked him out).


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Does anyone ever file restraining orders in plan B?


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
Does anyone ever file restraining orders in plan B?

Yes, and domestic abuse if he actually keep kicked a door open in a threatening manner, not just to get in because he forgot his keys.

LTL

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
He didn't kick the door down. He used keys.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
He got violent. Kicked down a door and pushed me against a wall. So this is definitely over now. I filed a police report and am pressing charges


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
Yeah, He came in last night. I locked myself in the bedroom with my daughter. He almost broke the door down before leaving. He just kept saying, "we are going to fix this! We are going to fix this!" My mom kept saying, "if you do the things she asked on the list, she will talk to you about coming back. You cannot come back without making her feel safe," which I think was perfect.

I can get a strong inner chain lock and have the lock rekeyed AGAIN.

I blocked her phone number after I got the text with the new iOS operating system, but will change my number as well.

But there is a mix of blame Piglet and rift between them. The letter to her dad sent her over the edge. My note to his boss to not let him sleep in the gym because it enables his affair also made him really mad (because the boss kicked him out).


He's in meltdown mode and it looks like his sweet affair partner is finding him to be too much trouble to keep as a boyfriend!

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
He got violent. Kicked down a door and pushed me against a wall. So this is definitely over now. I filed a police report and am pressing charges

When did this happen?

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
A couple of hours ago. My mom let him in when dropping off my daughter. I told her under no uncertain circumstances not to. I was locked in the bedroom and he figured that out. He was mad that my IM was not sending me all his messages. He was mad that I am trying to move with my daughter and thaf I will not talk to him.

I will not tolerate his abuse any longer. He is just transferring his emotional abuse to physical abuse now.


Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
He got violent. Kicked down a door and pushed me against a wall. So this is definitely over now. I filed a police report and am pressing charges

Are you okay?

Just concentrate on taking care of yourself and stay protected. We usually advise Husbands to carry a VAR, Voice Activated Recorder, but I feel you should just in case he makes ANY attempt at contacting you.

Yes, he IS in meltdown mode. His affair probably fell apart and you took assertive steps to isolate yourself from his craziness, but just worry about protecting yourself please.

How is your Mother? Was she around when this occurred?

LTL

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,433
Likes: 4
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
He got violent. Kicked down a door and pushed me against a wall. So this is definitely over now. I filed a police report and am pressing charges
I'm sorry he did this, but good job for calling the police.

Major issues in affair land.

Please be careful. Do you have a VAR on you when he comes around? Your mom should also have one on her.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
Piglet,

I know you already know this, but I am going to re-emphasize--Document, document, document!!

Date, times, events, witnesses, leading up to and the sequence of events, while it's fresh in your mind. This is just incase you need to recall circumstances for trial or defense. And it is for your recall only,, not for court evidence. I know you think you'll remember but, believe me, as time passes and other events occur, you'll forget important details.

Play it safe. Document!


Dday- Feb 1998
Recovered!!
Page 15 of 68 1 2 13 14 15 16 17 67 68

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5