Oh my bad. I understand now.
I must add that my wife and I have had sex almost daily since D day.
She slept with my son in the same bed since he was born.
She sleeps with me on my nights off until my son wakes up and starts crying.
I will also add that as best I can tell there is no contact with OM.

Question:

How long should I use the VARs?
I have been using them a week and found nothing.

You should use surveillance until your wife agrees to a program of recovery as detailed in SAA, which she has thus far refused to do....and then for the next 2 years

Another Question:

To be honest, I am trying to get the nerve to expose OM # 1 to his wife.
I am a little afraid of the possible fall out. (Maybe OM # 1 will get violent with my family??

Also, his wife is a recovering alcoholic, and suffers from depression, I know she deserves to know, but I don't want to put her in a type of tailspin.

Here is the question: The only phone number I have is a home phone number.
What should I say if OM # 1 answers?
Man I know part of me would like to have some cross words with him.
........ Like. .... So you think it's cool to sleep with another man's wife.

On another note, I have Ben watching her computer with web watchers, and placing vars for the last 3 or 4 weeks.
There has been nothing alarming said or done that I can see.
I can also see a positive change of attitude in my Ws conversations with her female friends.

You should expose to OM wife.
You are not responsible if it causes her to drink, just as a police officer is not responsible if someone he gives a speeding ticket to gets angry about the ticket and drinks.

I know I should expose, and I will!
What should I say to OM if he answers the phone?

A big part of me wishes there was a loophole in the law where if a man sleeps with another mans wife, his life could be threatened.

It just isn't fair. I didn't ask for any of this. I would never sleep with another mans wife. I have thought of a revenge affair, but (I know) I could never go through with it.
I feel like I am mentally doing better, but I still have my bad moments.
I am normally not a violent person. I always went out of my way to avoid any type of fight, but in my worst moments, I want to bloody these POSOM's noses!
(I know my wife shares probably most of the blame, but they assaulted my family too.)

Sir, I just read in the Wall Street Journal that dozens have been executed for adultery in ISIS controlled areas.
If AlQaeda ever conquers America, I can guarantee that there will be very little adultery going on.

If the OM answers, I would just hang up.
If you want to really get even with him legally, just post him on Cheaterville for all the world to see.

Do have OM's BW's number?

Have you seen this?
"I encourage BH's to contact the OM"

I have their home number. (Which they share)

By the way, I need to point out that this affair, and all others appear to be dead.
I have been using vars and webwatcher for quite some time now.

Does she not have a cell number? Have you searched under her name?

I have searched under both her and his name, I could only find the home number.
(Tried to call today, he answered so I hung up)

Any idea on a way to find her cell number?

On a side note, I wish I could know for sure if my W is being honest.
The vars tell me nothing is going on while I am not here.
Webwatcher is clean.

I would just keep calling the house number until she answers.
You could always do a reverse directory and get their address and follow her to work and speak to her then

That is an idea.
Only problem is they live an hour away from my house.
I'll keep trying to call for a while.

Okay, I talked with OM #1's wife. She did not believe me, and Om#1 got on the phone and denied it. I called him a liar in a very angry voice and told him to stay away. (Again, I strongly believe all affairs are dead, and vars would point to this)

My W tells me she only talked on the phone 1 time. (The day they had sex at the hotel) (just over 2 years ago)
I know I have the right guy, I knew his name and his wife's name because my W told me.

I told her about a prior affair of OM#1, she still believes her H.

So sad she's in denial. I'm sure this isn't his first affair.

Do you have any evidence you could provide the BW?

It is not his first affair. At first she denied that fact, then I got her to admit it.

There was only 1 phone call between my W and OM#1.
I called my wireless provider to get the bill of that particular month.
If it has that phone call listed on the call log, I will share it with her.

The man got on the phone and told me that I'm mistaken and to leave his family alone. My God I was so angry. I will not let this impunity stand if I can at all help it.

I am almost 100% sure my wife is no longer wayward, but I still get sick over this.
I mean how could she do this to someone she loves?

Did you get a day job yet?