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I'm tired again. I am just so incredibly tired of life. We were doing pretty well, even though his life was so stressful and we had several major work and life events. We had carved out all Thursday afternoon and Sunday evening just for us. We had other times as well since our kids are teenagers and gone a lot. I was opening up. We were starting to have fun..
Then my husband had a major medical event and was hospitalized in ICU for over a week. He has been home recovering... I'm just tired. I am tired of heavy conversations and caregiving. I want to go out and have fun....but he cannot. I'm just tired.
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HW, it sounds like you need antidepressants. Have you considered them?
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Joined: Aug 2012
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I went on them 6 weeks ago.. How do you end up meeting recreational companionship or SF if your husband isn't able?
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I went on them 6 weeks ago.. How do you end up meeting recreational companionship or SF if your husband isn't able? Some Ideas Games Take-out and a Movie in Bed Internet Christmas Shopping Planning projects for Jan. 2015 (unless he is too "projecty still" Planning RC for when he feels better Cooking treats for friends (you cook and maybe he can assemble?) Export all of your kids often Appreciate that he is here...and that at least this didn't ruin you financially.
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I am sorry to hear this. I hope it puts in perspective, for him, the idea that he can't count on another eight years of the pace he has been keeping.
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How do you have pleasant conversation when you are constantly discussing things like what he could do over and over and over...or worrying about things that we just have to wait on the answers for... I want fun and lighthearted conversation. So how do you get him to do that? We are spending the afternoon together outside the house.. If we dont' discuss that, I'm not sure what we will talk about..
Tomorrow evening we are seeing Mockingjay so we can discuss that afterwards... But I am having a hard time...
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Date went ok yesterday... But he was so incredibly tired. I kept trying to bring up other topics, just fun topics but we kept sliding back into the same old same old ( unhappiness with job)
We are going to see Mockingjay around 1 maybe that will help..
One thing I wondered is emotional needs. I believe that one of my emotional needs is for him to have emotional strength. It really bothers me when he isn't sure how to put one foot in front of another, constantly goes over decisions or things that happen, etc. I need him to be confident, happy and not second guess....
I will get dressed up again today like I did yesterday and be happy and cheerful. It is just wearing to be doing it by myself.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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It really bothers me when he isn't sure how to put one foot in front of another, constantly goes over decisions or things that happen, etc. I need him to be confident, happy and not second guess.... Tell him this. Don't tell us, tell him!! It is an enemy of good conversation.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Aug 2012
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It really bothers me when he isn't sure how to put one foot in front of another, constantly goes over decisions or things that happen, etc. I need him to be confident, happy and not second guess.... Tell him this. Don't tell us, tell him!! It is an enemy of good conversation. He apologizes. He just doesn't feel like himself. He knows it would be much better if I were married to someone who had their act together. He says he knows he isn't being good company, he just cannot make himself... He forces a smile on his face for awhile, but then he drfts off into space again...
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Joined: Apr 2001
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It really bothers me when he isn't sure how to put one foot in front of another, constantly goes over decisions or things that happen, etc. I need him to be confident, happy and not second guess.... Tell him this. Don't tell us, tell him!! It is an enemy of good conversation. He apologizes. He just doesn't feel like himself. He knows it would be much better if I were married to someone who had their act together. He says he knows he isn't being good company, he just cannot make himself... He forces a smile on his face for awhile, but then he drfts off into space again... Just keep telling him. It is hard to change bad habits. With any new habit, you have to practice, practice, practice. It is like learning to play the flute. You don't play like a maestro the first week. One thing my H and I did was to ask each other at the end of the evening "was I very pleasant tonight?" And we would give an honest answer so we could do better the next time.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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