Ooh I remember the dreams! Beat him up a little bit if he shows in another one.

Sounds like your Plan is rocking.

Keep going luna!! You're doing fantastic!!

Next time just slap him around a little

Are you going to do that just to have it done with?



I am so happy for you, you are just doing great. Keep up your great PLAN LUNA!!!!!

Haha! No dreams last night, so that is good. Learning that not engaging is the best (even in my sleep!)

Once I get the two things I want in my hands, I think I will request the judgement. We might have to go through some mediation for the court to be satisfied we are settled but hopefully that will be easy. I am out of state, so best case scenario is that they will work with me on not having to come back and incur expenses, especially when everything has been worked out. I think they will. This court has been easy to work with so far, even reinstating our case when I was slow.

This is almost over!

Frankly, I rarely cry anymore and feel about a thousand times better (roughly, give or take a hundred ). I have some anxiety about doing the right thing, but have you guys and my family and friends to go to for feedback on that. Amazing, since two months ago I felt like my life was over.

Wish me strength this weekend. After this, it will be all downhill, but going back there is a huge trigger, even if I love things about that town. Had trouble sleeping last night.

Best pedicure on and a rocking outfit. Hugs xx

Thank you. Much needed.

Outfit picked out. In town. Overwhelmed at what I have to do in the next two and half days. Burst into tears when I walked into the apartment we shared together.

The cake topper for our wedding cake is sitting out on one of the end tables, for crying out loud.

This will get better, this will get better, this will get better. Someday I'm going to look at this as the best thing that ever happened to me.

Until then, I am making a huge pot of comfort food.

Happy thanksgiving everyone.

Luna,

I remember being where you are at. Today, I am remarried to a brilliant man who treats me the way I deserve to be treated. He loves me beyond anything I ever thought possible. By leaving the man who treated you so poorly, you have opened the possiblity to achieving everything you ever dreamed of and more! Where God closes a door, he opens a window. Stay the course.

Hi Brits_Brats,

Thank you. This is harder than I ever imagined it would be. If I had known, I would have paid another month's rent and someone's plane fare to come out and help me.

As it is, I'll push through. It will get done somehow, just might not be the smoothest.

Being here brings up all the criticisms my husband had for me and all the horrible feelings and fights. My stuff is such a mess. I was always working and then sold a house and downsized so fast. Or perhaps I'm slow. It doesn't matter.

Having someone love me and treat me right would be wonderful. I'll start by treating myself right...

Feeling guilty about taking all of the things we owned in our marriage away - and probably giving it away to charity because it's too much for me, instead of giving it to stbxH. Is that crazy?

He's an adult, correct? If he wanted the stuff he could have arranged something to collect them.

I burned most of my marital stuff in a bonfire on the night of my divorce!
Like the pagans of old I burned it and sent it into the heavens!

I am sitting in the now empty apartment that I worked so hard to make comfortable for us. This is the first move I've done on my own in four years. We painted, made shelves, cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. It hurts like hell to clean up this mess alone while he is out with someone new already. At least I had two really awesome moving men who stayed a few extra hours and tore everything down I hadn't gotten to and loaded the whole truck. I didn't bring a single box in.

I like this town. I like the water, the best bathes ever, but feel like if I stay here now, I'll always be looking out for him and feeling sad that I'm excluded. That cannot be healthy. Maybe if I had a reason to be here, but with my career, I can pretty much live anywhere so wanting to be here could be enough.

A bonfire sounds good. I'll save that for a day when I feel stronger. Right now, between the stress of moving, the holiday alone, only an hour and a half of sleep and being behind on stuff, I feel pretty awful and weak. I wanted more than anything else to have my old life back and that will never happen. I'm just trying to remember that our problems were was always somehow my fault. That can't possible be right, at least not all the time.

I feel like a little kid. I don't want to move.

I can only imagine how difficult it was but at least it is over now and you will never have to look at that place again so another checkmark on your Plan Luna.


It probably would not be healthy for you. Like you said always looking over your shoulder as to not run into him, that would be AWFUL just think about your Plan Luna and do what is best for that.


You are correct your problems were not all on you, you can take blame for whatever you did in the marriage but NEVER take blame for him having an A, that is ALL on him. He chose to go outside your marriage not you.


Again I cannot even imagine what you are going through but try to keep your chin up. So far your Plan Luna has been GREAT!!!!

The future is your priority Luna - keep your eyes on the prize....

True! And I realized *I* made that happen and I can do it again. It made me proud to look around and know that place was better for my having been there.

True. And there were freeloader/renter tendencies that were definitely not my fault. I want better.


Thank you!


Doing that. Sleep helped a lot. Everything in my life seems to go so much better these days. Everyone is so nice, things are working out. I feel like a cloud of doom has been lifted from my shoulders. I guess you don't realize how bad things have gotten until the toxic part has been removed. Yay for your help in getting me there.

The ironic part is, since exposure, I have never felt more supported and loved, even though my marriage is over.

You are doing great!!

Thank you MelodyLane!

Made to *my* place tonight. Stayed in a nice hotel along the way and really took care of myself. It felt great.

Movers come tomorrow. It will be a little stressful living out of boxes for a bit, but I feel free to purge away without having to worry about anyone else. It is all about Plan Luna now. What makes me happy. Woot!

Btw, I listed to an audio book, "Humor and Healing" by Bernie Siegel, while driving. I think it was the perfect thing for a spouse in Plan B. That got me out of that town, thinking good thoughts and laughing, instead of moping and sad.

I bet that was AWESOME!!!! I am jealous


And it is so deserved, it is time for it to be about you!!!!


Great news!!

It so was the best. And no blame, no eggshells, no irritation to deal with. Just a super comfy bed and time to do as I wanted and needed (stayed and wrote homework until checkout time at noon and then started the rest of the drive).

So I did it!!!!

All my stuff is crammed around me (800 square feet into 600). But I can see small piles here and there that I'll attack first. It feels manageable. I made the plan, and six weeks later, it is done! I am no longer hanging around that town like some sad kicked puppy begging to be let in out of the rain.

Going to call the court tomorrow to see what I need to do to get the final judgement. I'm hoping to get this done before the holidays so I can just forget about it and relax and enjoy my trip home to visit family and friends. Already have a fun show lined up with a girlfriend, and more friends then I'll have time to see.

Plus I get to stay at my mom's, and sleep in, and generally not be 'on' for a week or so. Did anyone see that Saturday Night Live skit Back Home Ballers? Yeah, there is a little of that to look forward to... (not really, but lots of love so it feels that way. )

Plan Luna!!!!!!!