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I have been on MB forum but I am starting a new tread here. Wife had workplace affair. I have done exposures, including at work. Asked WW to resign but is unwilling. The ethics investigation at work should reach WW and OM next week or the following. OM has leased apartment to carry out the affair during daytime. I had been on Plan A for 2 months. Since I have done the office exposure I intended to go to Plan B but am delaying due to the ethics office's investigation. But it's extremely difficult to continue living like this. I am considering to force WW to move out now and would like advice.
WW has been expressing possibility of reconciliation. But she wants to control it. Of course I can't allow that.
Should I act now or should I wait for the office investigation to finish?
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I have been on MB forum but I am starting a new tread here. Wife had workplace affair. I have done exposures, including at work. Asked WW to resign but is unwilling. The ethics investigation at work should reach WW and OM next week or the following. OM has leased apartment to carry out the affair during daytime. I had been on Plan A for 2 months. Since I have done the office exposure I intended to go to Plan B but am delaying due to the ethics office's investigation. But it's extremely difficult to continue living like this. I am considering to force WW to move out now and would like advice.
WW has been expressing possibility of reconciliation. But she wants to control it. Of course I can't allow that.
Should I act now or should I wait for the office investigation to finish? How long has the affair been going on? Is OM married?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I have been on MB forum but I am starting a new tread here. Wife had workplace affair. I have done exposures, including at work. Asked WW to resign but is unwilling. The ethics investigation at work should reach WW and OM next week or the following. OM has leased apartment to carry out the affair during daytime. I had been on Plan A for 2 months. Since I have done the office exposure I intended to go to Plan B but am delaying due to the ethics office's investigation. But it's extremely difficult to continue living like this. I am considering to force WW to move out now and would like advice.
WW has been expressing possibility of reconciliation. But she wants to control it. Of course I can't allow that.
Should I act now or should I wait for the office investigation to finish? I don't understand why you are thinking of asking her to move out if you have only just done the workplace exposure and she hasn't even heard about that yet. You have not been in Plan A for 2 months if you have only just exposed to the most important target. You haven't begun to give this affair a chance to die on exposure to sunlight. What do you mean by reconciliation that "she wants to control"? What does she want to control?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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SugarCane,
The reason I want her to move out is mainly due to the fact that I want to maintain my self respect and dignity, and the desire to keep myself healthy and start self healing process to get some aspects (such as my work, which is suffering) of my life back to normal.
How can I allow my WW to carry our her affair openly? I did tell her that her affair should end or our relationship will end. I already told her that she is free to move out and come back when she is willing to reconcile. WW family is not very helpful at all as they are more concern about her happiness and her well being than our marriage (and their grand children).
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I don't think your WW is interested in Recovery and will throw you crumbs once in awhile to try and appease you. This situation is like Romper Room.
Since it is a short work week, if nothing happens next week I would ask her to move out. You can't force WW out...I don't know what you mean by that. She has been giving you the finger for over a year...and you allowed it.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Have you told your children she is having an affair, and who with?
The very first thing I would do after that is see a doctor and ask him to prescribe antidepressants for me for the duration of this crisis. I would check with the doctor regularly to make sure the antidepressants are working and see if dosage or prescription needs to be adjusted.
I would not try to force my WW to move out unless personally advised to do so by Dr. Harley.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Black_raven,
By "forcing" I meant to pack up her stuff and leaving them outside, changing locks....
I know my timing is screwed up due to the slow process in workplace exposure to get to them. I am going to get me some updates from the EO today.
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Black_raven,
By "forcing" I meant to pack up her stuff and leaving them outside, changing locks.... All I see happening if you do that is more drama from WW. SInce you haven't exposed to your children how exactly are they going to understand why her bags are packed or why anyone is leaving? You are once again, cherry picking Plan A. I know my timing is screwed up due to the slow process in workplace exposure to get to them. I am going to get me some updates from the EO today. Good...and make it clear you probably can't to wait for them much longer so light a fire under them. It does not take weeks for a company to look into this. How many ethic violations could this EO have to handle?  They are more concerned about covering their butts vs your marriage. Personally I would never have tolerated this but that's me.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Calling on Brits_Brat!
Brits_Brat, you already advised to allow the corporate's EO investigation to take its course.
How long does the process usually take in general? I was told that it could take up to 1 month and it is into the 3rd week now. Just having a tough time to handle everything during the waiting game.
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Black_raven,
By "forcing" I meant to pack up her stuff and leaving them outside, changing locks.... Don't do this. I don't think Dr. Harley ever advises a man to do this. Did you have a question answered on the Marriage Builders Radio show today? Have you exposed to your children?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Nov 2010
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Have you seen this? Exposing to Children
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I have had investigations last a day and some drag out for months. It just depends on how busy the investigator is.
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Thanks Brits_Brat for the response.
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Thanks Brits_Brat for the response. How about responding to my question? You are giving your WW time to spin the affair to everybody by dragging out exposure. You're not gonna make it, sir.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Thanks Brits_Brat for the response. How about responding to my question? You are giving your WW time to spin the affair to everybody by dragging out exposure. You're not gonna make it, sir. I'm watching you on the who's online page: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=onlineI can see that you've clicked on my post. It's a simple yes or no question. We can tell the answer is no, we can tell that you've decided to skip exposing to your children. You might as well give up if you are going to pick and choose which parts of this plan you are going to follow. I will pray for those kids that you sit down and tell them immediately and then start doing everything that needs to be done. Start listening to the radio show daily, btw. Your life is about to transform. You can take charge of that transformation and steer it for better, or you can sit back and let it degenerate into for worse.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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100% of the time, the people who ignore the questions and advice posted to them and only post their own questions FAIL at this. 100% of the time. Every. Single. Time. If your ears are full of cotton instead of your mouth, you are not going to make it. http://biblehub.com/james/1-19.htmWhen are you exposing to your children? There is no point taking any other action if you're going to leave stuff undone.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Markos, I have done all the exposures. The office one is being investigated. There is no spinning of W'S story.
I don't know if the radio addressed my question today but they did cover one before a few weeks ago. I am still trying to listen to today's program. Will let you know.
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Have you exposed to your children?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Markos, I have done all the exposures. You haven't personally told your children their mother is having an affair, have you?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Have you told your children she is having an affair, and who with? I'm just going to keep posting this over and over again until we get a straight answer. There is no point in saying much else to you. After that, I am going to go back to the rest of that post and just keep posting that over and over until you take that step. There is no point to much else if you are going to ignore most of what we say to you. You might as well give up or prepare for divorce. Or prepare for hospitalization in the funny farm.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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