Sorry for my bad English,English isn't my first language. I am Asian-American, and sorry for the long post.

May I please get the men viewpoints on my situation. As a man, can you see your self be truely happy in the long run, in a long term relationship/marriage like this....

Me and him, we live in the same neighborhood, so we knows each others for many years. We become friends and he start his long hard chase, and his persistent touch me; we are in a steady committed relationship.
Things kindda move faster than I thought due to the close distance between us live in the same neighborhood. And I find myself fallen for this guy more and more everyday.

He does have a rough upbringing, his dad was in and out of jail and decease. He also lost his sister due to a drunk driving car accident, so trust me, he is emotionally drain.
I don't want this interracial relationship to further strain him. And I feel that he being with me is just added more stress, and weight on his shoulders.

He is fully aware of my Asian mother's ignorant, and discrimination against him due to his skin color.
Due to him grow up in the street life environment full of gangs, drugs, and shoooting. He said he see more things that are thousand times more worser than just some Asian folks racist against him.
He told me many times to rest assure, and don't sweats it, because he truely doesn't mind, and he does not feel bother by it at all.

I know he loves me because all the things he do for me is way more than what I do for him. On my part, I try to be the best girlfriend as I can, paying half half on dates, be Financially independent; cook and clean for him, as well as get along with his mother.
His mother do support us together, and she very nice to me, I also learn how to cook his culture dishes from her.

Other people call me cheap and have low self-esteem; because I pay for my own ways and not use his money. But I do it simply because I see how hard he work, his money sure didn't come easy, therefore I'm more than happy to help him out, so he save his money for other important things.
It not just him only, when I go out with my "girls" friends, I also split bills with them too.
I am just compassionate, and plus I have my own job, so I am capable of taking care of myself.

I was physically and mentally abuse by my mother when I was little. Therefore I have move out away from her for more than a decade; so to be frank, she cannot dictate nor control who I date, since I don't live with her.
But the ways she racist and disrespectful to him just very unacceptable, and I'm too ashamed to go into details what kind of ignorant/racist things she say about him.

I am in my late twenties, I can make my own decission, and I choose to be with him regardless of what my ignorant mother say.
So I am going to try my best to make this relationship work out. He is not giving up, so why should I?

But I know men have their ego, their manhood, their pride. You know what I mean?
He loves me now so he will roll with it, but what happened in the long run when we get married? or three to five years from now? Will he get tired and sick from pretending that he doesn't mind?

I know he said many times that he doesn't care what my mother thinks, since he see things that are 1000 times worser out there in the 'street life', than just some Asian folks hate him. But is deep down is he truely doesn't mind?

As a man, do you really don't mind about what your gf/wife mother thinks of you? How about if your girl's mother is very disrespectful to you?
How about if the in-laws will never see each others?
May I get serious opinions on this from the men's point of views please. Thank you so much...
Or any tips on how to survive an interracial relationship/marriage? I really can't picture myself without him in my life, or if one day I loose him.

Welcome to MB.

So I understand you are NOT married, correct? Then this should belong in dating.

Please read this. Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders

How much of Dr. Harley's works have you read?

I am sorry, I'm a new member. Sorry, if I post in the wrong section, my apology.
We are not married yet, but we are serious, and I was looking for someone who in long term/married to give me advice, as I am looking in the big picture, going down in the road of marriage.
We don't date for fun, we beyonce that age. I am 30, and he 29
I want to see if any chance we can survive this relationship in the long run.

No apologies necessary, you're fine.

The best way to prepare yourself is to educate yourself.

Did you read the link I posted?

Read all of these and tell us what you think.
Choosing the Right One to Marry #1

Hello IG, welcome to Marriage Builders. The biggest red flag I see here is that he doesn't pay for your dates and you give him money? If he is serious about your relationship, then he needs to pay for the dates. What is more important than you? If you are going to take him seriously, he needs to take YOU more seriously. I would stop giving him money.

Please read the article posted by Brainhurts and let us know what you think.

The biggest problem I see here is that it sounds like you are concerned only about his happiness and not your own at all. With that way of doing things, you will eventually fall out of love with him.

MelodyLane,
No no, sorry my terrible English sometimes it cause misunderstanding.
I did NOT give him money, I didn't pay all of the dates, I only pay half. It was split 50/50, it was my choice to do that because I know he work hard, and his money doesn't come easy, so I want to split the bills with him.
I am always like that, whether go out with girls or guys, I always help split the bills.

We are Financially independent from each others. This is not the problem between us.
What I worried is if he would be truely happy given my racist/discriminate mother, she make very racist hurtful comments against him; it just plain out disrespectful and rude on her part.
He said he doesn't mind, but I don't know if that is what he feels deep down inside.

IG, thanks for the clarification. But a man who is trying to court YOU should be paying for your dates. That is what he should be doing if he is serious about your relationship.


If you marry him, you would have to insist that she stop. If she doesn't, then you shouldn't go around her. Your mother will have to be respectful to whomever you decide to marry.

I don't see why either of you should continue to have any contact with your mother. Sounds like she tears you both down rather than building you up.

I repeat the red flag I see:

Did you read the links I posted to you? What do you think?