My spouse has had a long history of internet sexual activity and online affairs. After a separation we have decided to try to work things out and to try to have a good marriage. Here's my problem, after so long of not being able to trust that I was being told the truth and being lied to on a regular basis is there any way to set and enforce boundries that will be realistic and still allow us a fair chance to start over. I need to be able to trust that I am being told the truth without automaticly assumeing that everything I am being told is a lie.

Ask TNT, if anyone knows about boundaries, she does.<P>There is know way of knowing, kind of a blind leap of faith in my opinion.<P>You're the one that will know when to leap or if to leap, only you.<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

Boundaries? I know about boundaries!!!!??<P>I respect other people's boundaries, but have a really hard time getting the people in my family to respect mine!!! I haven't found a solution!!! <P>I'm sorry to be so sarcastic, but I feel very unqualified to speak on boundaries.<P>I think boundaries are good.<P>**<BR>But in regards to your husband's sexual addiction, I think it is something a professional needs to help your husband with. I'm sure there are many issues you can trust your husband with, but with the internet and porn you can't. That seems reasonable and expectable.<P>You can live with someone and not trust them. They need to earn their trust. You can rebuild your marriage without trust.<P>If both of you focus on protecting your relationship, and depositing love units (Basic Concepts), and a rule of honesty and guarding against lovebusters, you can have a happy marriage.<P>The first step towards doing so is the commitment. Perhaps you can print out the basic concepts and start there.<P>God Bless!<BR>TNT