I don't mind cooking some and under right conditions. It�s fun - but [not] every meal.
This is consistent with what I have always discussed with my wife. She has always told me she enjoys cooking; Her only condition was that she hated the clean-up process, which I always help with and oftentimes perform 100% myself.
And I do mean, from grinding the wheat to final product.
I have never been POJA with this statement. I have never even made any such request. We have discussed eating healthy and its benefits, but not once did I ever insinuate that all meals must be made from the raw ingredients. I purchased a flour mill for myself long before we were dating, and my wife has always been *delighted* that we have our own flour mill.
�and nothing else in the entire world to do but cook meals from scratch, never had to clean one dish & enjoy my husband. No way- it would drive me absolutely crazy.
I have never demanded this, nor have I even requested it.
So what happens if obviously I don't want to do this all the time- maybe once a month type thing - yet he isn't enthusiastic about buying any processed food.
My primary concern was because for a long time, only �pre-prepared foods� were the only food available in the house. I have no aversion to �hot pockets� � I do have an aversion to having hot pockets being the only thing available for the kids to eat. I don�t feel it�s responsible parenting to have the kids eating only just that one type of food.
Livingwell: processed food - no cereal, no butter, no bread, no cheese, no soups or broths, no beans from a can. Raise & butcher your own meat....
I have never been POJA about this. Granted, I have always thought that old pioneering ways were admirable (and I have a desire to learn those ways), but I have never demanded, nor have I ever requested, this type of food preparation.
When I say from scratch I mean from culturing your own butter & cheese to making your own cereal and all your own broths, making your own honey, jelly, sour cream- etc.
I have never demanded, nor have I ever requested, this type of food preparation. We don�t employ any of these mentions practices in our home at all. (My wife does make some homemade things here and there (like some quarts of Pear Butter she made a few months ago). I have never demanded, nor have I ever requested, this type of food preparation, ever.
I do try to make some simple dinners but as I said - he isn't happy with that either.
I have always been 100% enthusiastic about the meals my wife prepares, and I make a point to always offer genuine and sincere appreciation for her efforts. The meals she makes are actually VERY delicious!
So this is my confusion - what if I'm not enthusiastic on cooking like this for a lifestyle at all & can't think of what he could do to help me be enthusiastic - so what happens in this case???
I have always been under the impression we were very POJA about the types of meals my wife makes.
I have no complaints at all about the meals my wife makes, other than once in a while the food might be a bit too salty. What I was not POJA about was fast food being the primary meals the kids were eating. That has been a long time ago since that was a major issue, though.
This is just hard for me to understand for some reason. I hate cooking- I try to do it well & enjoy the outcome but I really wish I could never cook another thing the rest of my life.
I am extremely surprised to hear this, as it is contrary to what we discussed when we were dating. She has always told me she enjoys cooking; Her only condition was that she hated the clean-up process, which I always help (at least SOME) with and oftentimes I will perform 100% myself. I do offer to help prepare nearly every meal she makes, but she declines my help due to feeling too crowded in the kitchen.
Yes, that is his ideal- although he would let a processor butcher the cow.
The cow idea is actually my wife�s suggestion. I have never been enthusiastic (early on) about getting a cow because the land we have is too small and the cost of feed to high. The only time I have been enthusiastic about getting a cow was when a lady my wife knows through the Homeschooling mom group (Michelle S.), offered for us to keep a cow on her 30 acres for free last summer. But I have never wanted to own a cow on our property. Goats � yes, cow � no.
He bought me a pressure cooker to can meat.
We were both 100% POJA about the pressure canner, before the purchase. Neither of us have ever used it, though.
Yes, I do make my own butter from milk- and I do make my own cheese-
My wife has never made homemade butter, and has never made homemade cheese, either. My wife has made some homemade soaps, and some underarm deodorant very similar to the Burt�s Bees product. She has made milk Kefir, but that isn�t cheese. Once when we were first dating, I tried to make butter from heavy whipping cream, but it didn�t work.
What did you do when you dated? It confuses me how a situation deteriorates like that. The LB$ is that low that store bread, butter and cheese are enough to make him ill?
NewEveryDay, Oftentimes Elaina made meals at her house. I have always enjoyed the type of, and flavor of, the food she makes. Sometime we would go out.
I am confused as well�. I have never heard one complaint ever from my wife that she doesn�t enjoy cooking - ever. She does hate the clean up, however. When we were dating, she would go on and on about how much she loves to cook. I do not have any expectation for her to cook every single meal. I have never been POJA about that at all.
Store bought bread, butter and cheese have never made me ill. At home, all of our butter and cheese is 100% store bought, and the bread is from the store 99% of the time.
When we dated- I made food like I do now. If I cook it- he graciously eats it & compliments me. It just isn't what he wants us to be eating.
I am 100% POJA about the type and flavor of the meals my wife prepares.
Yes, not being enthusiastic about what food he wants in the house for 3 times a day, plus snacks has been enormous. It's one of the biggest release since we separated of realizing how stressed I was from this.
I was only Non-POJA about the �quantity� of fast food and pre-packed food our family was eating. Over 90% of the food we ate for several years was either fast food or �zap it� foods like hot pockets.
My primary complaint has often been with me coming home after work to a dinner table filled with empty wrappers and drinks from XYZ fast food place, and there not being anything for me� and **not knowing** that there wouldn�t be anything for me... and that I should have bought something for myself on my way home (if I had known).
He has always bought fast food or other for himself.
Not always � that is an absolute, and it isn�t true. �Sometimes� would be a true statement. I generally call ahead first and ask my wife if she would like me to bring some food home or not.
Quite frequently, when I have bought fast food was when after calling, her response was �No, I haven�t prepared anything tonight. Go ahead and buy something for yourself�. Regularly, she enjoys me bringing home Loaded Potato Grillers from Taco Bell for her.
He will not cook often and wouldn't have time normally.
I do offer to cook regularly, but the offer is frequently declined. I do make a casserole or something similar once in a while.
So he eats fast food, but says it is a lovebuster if you all do? I don't really get it.
Indiegirl - No, I was actually not POJA about the �quantity� of fast food and pre-packed food our family was eating. I am concerned that our children get good nutrients - - not just fat, salt and carbs.
But there is a second part to this issue; that is where he is asking her to change the way she cooks food for the family.
LivingWell, I have always enjoyed the type of, and flavor of, the food she makes. I cannot ascertain the source of her complaint.
I'm not trying to waste time but the POJA makes sense to me but here. I feel like I have no idea how to solve a problem like this....
I have always enjoyed the type of, and flavor of, the food she makes. I was not POJA about the �quantity� of fast food and pre-packed food our family was eating. I am concerned that our children get good nutrients.
In fact I could only really buy organic vegetables, certain fish, nuts, rice, beans and spices from a store. Those are the only things he doesn't "object" to.
I have never demanded this, nor have I even requested it.
So I'm stuck only buying those things? Really? I am not enthusiastic about that at all!
I am very confused... I have never been POJA about that at all. This should be an easy issue to POJA, because that is not what I am requesting. I have never demanded this, nor have I even requested it. I just wanted the kids to eat less junk food, that�s all�
My confusion lies in the fact that he can object to every food in a way forcing me to only have items in my house that must be cooked from scratch. (This is where I am most confused)
This should be an easy issue to POJA. I have never demanded this, nor have I even requested it
I mean, this is why I have ended up taking them out- we are hungry as the only things in the house take hours to prepare.
Yes, this has been true some of the time.
At some point common sense needs to come into play...a spouse and the children can't starve. Agreeing to not do something which then becomes detrimental to yourself or the children would be foolish.
Black Raven, I agree. Please see my previous comments. Oh, and I am willing to prepare meals as long as we are POJA about it. My offers frequently get declined.
