I have friend who is married. I know its bad to have opposite gender friends. Especially married ones. I didn't intend for it to happen. I'm not married and we worked together. I go back and forth between chatting with him through a books length of emails and ignoring his texts for spans of time when I feel what he is writing is going down a path of infidelity.(examples: complaints about his family, struggles specific to marriage) You see, we haven't had any sort of physical contact ever because of our beliefs. And I don't want physical contact. He seems fine with how things are too. We haven't written anything explicitly sexual to one another.

On the other hand, I was reading Harley's His needs Her needs for a college project and my friendship with my coworker gave me goosebumps. We have snuck out after work for long walks, to drive around, go out to eat or the $5 movies. Mostly we just talk about our blurry futures, work, God(because I'm a Christian and he is an atheist), and life experiences (because my friend is older). He never told his wife where he was. I learned about his marriage problems late in our hanging out. He's only been married two years. I even went with his wife and another coworker to the state fair once and they appeared affectionate.

The last time he talked to me, I gave him advice to help his marriage. He always makes A point of obeying my advice to a t. I'm actually pleased with how my advice is working in his life. I'm a psych major. I'm just worried about how my presence is undermining my work. I'm worried because neither of us has the willpower to stop talking altogether. After all our emails, texts and his two visits to my college(one time coming back from the airport and another time coming back from a work thing so not intentionally to see me). I'm frustrated that the potential for an affair is so ill defined but I want to nip all potential at the bud. I want to what is best for my friend and for me. The weird thing is, I really really want to have one last conversation and present him with this book or at least relay the 5 her needs to him. I'm so angry at myself for having been a stumbling block in my ignorance and I'm also super sad that I will need to disappear from his life. I wonder if it will confuse him when I just leave. I'm scared that I'm so addicted to his conversation and attention that I can't leave. I wish for a way, he could be happy with his wife and still talk to me. What do I say to him because what we have isn't a traditional affair and he may just think I'm being odd about what he defines as a regular friendship. I know my silence would hurt and confuse him explained cold turkey. I also have already cut texting down to only one conv. Every two weeks or so and not related to anything but current events. I have to do what's hard for me and hurtful to him to help him? Sometimes, I wish I was a guy so I could still be his friend

You have one foot in an emotional affair already. What you describe is EXACTLY how affairs begin. If you are truly his "friend" you will back away and stop interfering in his marriage. An affair will be the worst thing that could happen to he and his wife. It will ruin their lives and very likely destroy his marriage.

Tell him your "friendship" is inappropriate and you are going to step away for his sake and hers. And whatever you do, DO NOT TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE ADDICTED TO HIM. Just back away and leave this marriage alone. You are hurting them now and will destroy them in the future if you don't stop.

Do not spend time alone with married men.
Do not have conversation with them (one of the most important emotional needs most all women have which deposits 'love' units).

It isn't rocket science.

Just tell your married friend that you are too busy to talk when he calls. He will get the point. So what if it hurts his feelings? He has a wife to make him feel better. You will miss him because he is meeting important emotional needs (read the concepts on this website) and yet.....missing him is better than getting sucked deeper into the rabbit hole. BTW...the rabbit hole is evil (since you are a Christian, this may help you resist it)

Spend time with unmarried men/coworkers and or women who share interests with you.

It is that simple.

How insulting to insinuate yourself into a person's private life without their knowledge. Stop giving advice on her marriage - IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

The only way you can help him overcome his terribly inappropriate habit of talking to other women rather than his wife is for you to quit it.

Also, get a clue. Men and women are never truly friends and you're going to get eaten alive out there unless you grasp that.

I met a gal on chat. Not long after we met, I confided in her about my bad marriage. She gave me great advice. And before we knew we were in an EA. It was start of the end of my marriage. The worst friendship I have ever entered into. Suffice it to say, I do not do chat anymore and I do not have intimate friendships with women.

The MB program is against opposite sex friendships because once one shares intimate details of their lives, a bond of intimacy forms and the affair has started before it's even "stated."

You are in an emotional affair, and from your post I can see that you are already addicted to this man.

It is going to be very hard to end this relationship with him. But you must do it or the consequences will be devastating.

Cut ties cleanly while you can.

I sense that you know deep down that this is the right thing to do. It's good that you came here.