Update the love busters one came back bad. She told me it's been that way since we've been together.

Emotional needs is not much better. Kind of disheartening. To find out that I haven't been meeting any needs really or making any live deposits. On the Brite said now I know so I can try to do something about it.

We did talk and it didn't go so well. I was told that she pray and want to be on her own. And that she feels that things aren't gonna work out for us. We have set up a tenitive Date for separation at the end of march. That's not looking good.

I don't know what I can do. She says she's scared to open up to me about the issues because the way I have reacted and react. Which isn't very good a lot of the times. So if I'm the only one willing to work on our marriage that doesn't seem like very good odds.

It feels that no matter what I do it is negative or is taken to be manupltive in some way.

I Have exposed Him I have messaged all his family.

My wife and I had a pretty good talk last night till about 3:30 this morning. Some of It was about the things I need to change in our marriage. Like the way I handle conflict and my feelings, the way I relate to her. We also talked about where she is and what brought her to this point of her changing.

Also I told her that I exposed the Affair and I thought she was going to be really made and get crazy actually she seemed surprised that I did that.

I explained to her that I was going to do everything I can to fight for this marriage. I feel she is still convinced that things cant change and wont.

How did you find his family to expose to? I thought you didn't know any of his family?

Good job. Who in his family did you expose to?

Is your WW going to write a NC letter? There are templates in the Exposure 101 thread she could use.

What Love Busters are you guilty of? You're in Plan A so this means absolutely no Love Busters.

What are her top ENs?

Do you have the book SAA?

I found them online and got phone numbers which I called and also sent them messages via google+.

I don't know if she is gonna do that when we talked the second time I revealed that I had exposed the affair. And tried to focus on our marriage problems.

She did tell me that she feels that the choices she makes is going to reflect the choices I make. I don't know exactly what she means by this. As I'm still under the impression that she wants to separate, and doesn't appear that she wants to fix our marriage. After we talked she did come to bed last night.

I will have to get back about the love buster scores. But they were not good and I am guilty of all of them. I just got love busters today and am just about to start it.

The en was very in lighting as well I have not meet any of those as well. I'll get back to you on those as well as they aren't in front of me.

yes I do it just came in the mail with her and his needs also love buster and 5 step to romantic love, also the companion work book.

I came home early today to go work out and the atmosphere seemed better, not back to normal by any means. I can't really tell how she is feeling right now about everything.

Do you have any UA time at all?

Love Busters need to stop. Do you have AOs or commit DJs?

Are you confirming that there is NC between your WW and OM?

I don't know if she is going to do an NC as of right now. I have told her how I feel and that I want her to end things. But I can't force her.

I'm reading love busters now. I don't know what AO and Dj means.

We don't have any UA time. If we did I don't think I could get her to spend it with me.

She wants action not words or commitments

Ao and dj are angry outburst and disrespectful judgement.

Do you understand Plan A? It can take many months to Plan A a wayward wife.

Did you expose her too?

Okay. Yeah I know what your talking about now. Yes I do understand it. I have to prevent love busters on my part and stay positive and put on the long distance running shoes. I feel that it's gonna be very discouraging at times.


And yes I did.

It may be discouraging at times, but you must stay in control of your emotions and realize you're in a fight for your marriage.

Come here and post and ask for guidance on your Plan A.

Have you read the story of Jon and Sue in SAA yet?

You will be unable to make love bank deposits while separated.
Im concerned that you are allowing her to drive the marriage bus. Do not agree to separation.
Your only position should be that you are willing to work with her to create a loving marriage.

No not yet. I will though right away. Thank you for the support and guidance. I be on here everyday I need and want all the help I can get.

Actually the odds are excellent because men can very often woo a reluctant wife in a way in which doesn't work vice versa.

You need to project more confidence that her requirements will be met by you. If she was outright ordering you out or leaving herself, it would be different.

This sounds more like her prediction that you will abandon her which is probably just fuzzy thinking caused by the affair. You remember how shocked and aggrieved she was last time you took her at her word and moved on!

I'd just stay put and say soothing confident things if anything at all. There's nothing wrong with saying it would break your heart to leave and you're not going to. You don't need a parade or to feel welcome. That's not what Plan A feels like.

Thanks for the advise. I read men don't leave and I'm not going to run and hide I'm gonna tuff it out. I expressed my desire to fix and have a healthy loving marriage.

That's so true. So I just need to be here for her when she needs me and to assure her that I'm not going any where and make love bank deposits? It just feels like hell.

I know how she felt now.

Yes. Do your best to meet her ENs and stop all love Busters.

What were some of her complaints about you?

Also are you still monitoring her devices to see if she's contacting OM?

Good that you're not leaving. It will be more difficult to Plan A while separated.

Yes I am..


I've been controlling, manipulative, disrespectful, angry outburts, dishonest, independent behavior.

I'm on chapter 2 right know and I'm just in shock of what I'm reading it's just crazy that I let myself act this way and didn't even realize it.

You must stop your AOs immediately and DJs. Dr. Harley says these are the most damaging of all love busters. What is your plan to stop these? Do you need an anger management program?

Have you listened to the clips in here?
Anger Management 101

No but I will listen to them thanks. I'm actually going to counseling once a week. These come from my problem with identifying my feelings. So I tend to react out of fear instead, which become AO and DJ.