Dear friends: I was trying to clean out my emails at work, some business oriented, some FYI(s), some jokes, some riddles etc.. I got this email that was a game similar to the old paper version of 4 squares that you lifted up to see who you were going to marry and what type of car you're going to drive and so on that we played in grade school. It tells you to list 1-11 in a column, write numbers down, 2 male names(I listed OW and spouse), 4 friends, songs and what I wished for. (I wished for my marriage to work in all ways) As I scrolled down to check out the answers, it stated that the OM was the one I loved, my spouse was the one I liked, but cannot work. The song that most described my relationship with OM "Pressure". The song that most described my relationship with my spouse Xanadu(Rush). The song that most described where I am at right now "Reeling in the Years". Now for most folks, it's just a game and don't take it seriously, but for me, it was upsetting. I don't want the OM. I want my relationship with my spouse to work. I have been with my spouse for 25 years and I feel he is my life. Maybe I am co-dependent, but I do love him very much. It's hard waiting for him to get over the hurt I caused, but I have faith. Now if I can just hang on. I know it was a stupid game and I know I am taking this way too seriously now, but my mental wellness is shaky as it is. Next time I will delete, delete, delete. I need to concentrate on wellness, not destruction. I am just trying to talk to myself through you all. Am I getting paranoid? Should I meditate? Pray? Something to get my mind together. Thank you for listening to a crazed bird.

Sobeit.<P>I can't really answer you tonight, but I wanted you to know that I read this and I'll get back, ok?<P>Lori

SObeit, <P>it was a game, similar to the ouiji (sp) board or going to have your tarot cards read. IT doesn't mean anything. It had a 50/50 chance to land on either name. Don't take to heart so!<BR>Your spouse is the one you need to be with and if that game was of good, it would have told you that!<BR>Hang On!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Mater<P>

Sometimes it's really weird that just by chance these stupid things seem to mean something. My 15 year old is ALWAYS trying a new one out on me. Like Mater said, it's 50/50!!!<P>You keep hanging in there and doing what's best for you. I've been proud of your efforts (need to take a few lessons from you , I'm afraid!!). Yes, pray. Yes, meditate. Yes, talk to a friend. And keep concentrating on wellness.<P>I'll add my prayers to yours. Hang in there.<P>Lori

Thank you all so kindly for your replies. I am trying to move on beyond the game episode. My day has been real trying so far. I called my spouse this morning to discuss family matters and he didn't sound like he wanted to talk to me. What else is new? I'm trying to stay busy. Have a good day.

sobeit,<P>I had a similar experience not too long after I broke it off with the OW. I went to a "love horoscope" website and checked on the forecast for the match between my sign and my wife's sign, then my sign and the OW's sign.<P>Not surprisingly, the site said that my wife and I wouldn't work out too well, whereas the OW and I should have a very fulfilling life together... That was a difficult thing to think about at that time, believe me!!<P>You just have to pust those things out of your mind. It's all just games and fantasy and not based in the real world. <P>--andy

Airheart: Thank you. Sometimes these valleys are too deep for me to get out of and I take too many things that are not important to heart. I will get better. I am thinking about you and I hope that you are doing well. Take care.