Hi everyone. This is my first time posting so forgive me if I don't know all the abbreviations.

Dday was August 3, 2014. I knew something was wrong. I was in major denial for many reasons but mainly because I was pregnant when the A was in full swing and I couldn't fathom doing it alone. He asked to move out and stay at a friend's on base (he's active duty) when he came back from 3 months away for training. He displayed every single sign outlined by Dr. Harley but I kept pushing. Dday came when I saw him pull in to OW's driveway a few houses down (I know. How did I not find out sooner is insane). He never admitted to the affair but I did tell his family and my family. At first his family was in major denial saying there was no way he could do it etc. Then as the days progressed and I told them more about his behavior (flaunting the affair in my face, skipping out on seeing our son that was now a few months old, etc) they began to apply pressure but he just stopped contact with him.
He was scheduled to be overseas starting in October so until the day he left overseas he lived with her. A week before he left he told me he wanted his family back and wanted to make things work. I agreed by the time he left overseas and asked him to break things off with her. He did and started IC. For a few months he was wonderful and talked about all the great things our family had going for it and how great it was going to be when we were all back together. Then around Christmas everything changed. He went back to withdrawing and I tried to talk to him a lot about it. He just kept saying that he was depressed over how he wasn't spending the holidays with us. I tried to be understanding and let it go.
After a few weeks I had enough and he was getting worse so I asked him if he had resumed contact with OW and he denied it. After pressuring him and telling him I was going to confront the OW he caved and said they had begun talking again and talked about getting back together. He said he was in love with her and that I was a great person but that he could only see me as his son's mom. I backed off and sorta began my own Plan B.
I guess my question in all of this is if it's worth waiting to see if he changes his mind? I feel stupid saying this because why would I want a guy that obviously has no regard for me at the moment but it breaks my heart to know that my son will never have his mom and dad together. And even after all this crap I still love him, but I'm not willing to play second to OW.
I need your advice and honest opinion if this has a chance. Thanks in advance!

Forgot to add. We've been married 3 years and together for 5. Our son is 10 months old.

That your WH is in the military is a big problem. Deployments will continue to kill your marriage regardless. Is your family close by? Do you own or rent?

I would move into Plan B, do another round of exposure and seek legal advice from an attorney. What state do you live in? Is OW single? Any kids?

Sorry for your hurt Imom

ETA: Do you have an idea of how long the affair has been going on?

He's never told me. But if I had to guess based on his behavior it'll be a year.
ETA: After D-day I filed for divorce. When he asked me to work on our marriage he also asked me to stop the divorce proceedings (which I didn't since I wanted to make sure this was going to stick). So right now all I would need to be done on the legal side is to file the final divorce decree. OW has no children

You should have been in a dark Plan B within 3 weeks. You're in Plan C which is most likely to make you unattractive, embed the affair, lead to divorce, but more importantly very serious stress and mental health issues.

When did you last eat or sleep OK?

All you're doing is digging an early grave to follow your divorce.

I eat ok. Sleep is hard to come by because of the baby since he still wakes up once or twice a night. I've been going to IC myself to help me deal with the situation which is why I think I've been able to manage a lot of these emotions.
What do you suggest I do?

Have you done a proper Exposure, as recommended in the Start Here 1st thread at the top of the forum?

Especially, expose to the POSOW's friends and family so she has to go through life knowing and wondering what they all think.

Even by following through with your Divorce petition, I am sure you don't want that skank anywhere around your children as they grow up. Get rid of the Vermin now, before she gets deeper involved where it would hurt you in the future.

LTL

Where are you in the divorce process? Do you have an attorney or filed on your own? Do you live in a fault state?

That OW lives down the street will be a big problem...which is why I asked if you rent vs own and have family nearby.

I rent so I can move out if I had to. Have an attorney and really we're in the last step of the process just filing the divorce decree with the court and we'd be done.

ETA: Live in a no fault state.

I would proceed with finalizing the divorce. I don't know what is in your decree but be sure you have all the protections (even clear wording) you need before you finalize it. I have a moral clause in my decree that prevents contact between my children and OW...there were two OW and they are specifically named. With an infant you may want limited visitation until a certain age as well.

If you want to move away and that isn't addressed in the decree you might want to consider that if an out of county or out of state move is something that appeals to you. Your WH has already signed the decree and it only has to be signed by the judge and recorded or he still has to sign?

I made him sign it before he left. So it just needs to be signed by the judge.

Is the OW married?

Why haven't you contacted the IG and done a proper military exposure?

I contacted family advocacy on base and they told me unless I had solid evidence like written confessions (email, text, etc) or pics of them in the act (which obviously are impossible to get) that there wasn't much I could do. He's been very careful to only admit it to me and give me details over the phone or face to face.

She's not married.

Is she in the military also?

No they met at the gym.

You need to contact the Inspector General office.