You don't have to retain an attorney but you will want one to review your paperwork. My best friend lives in OC and did her own divorce. She went to the county clerks office and even looked at other people's divorce papers on microfilm to see the type of language used.

Have you tried avvo.com? Search the directory for attorneys that deal with divorce/separation. Most attorneys will state that they offer a 30 or 45 min free consult. Plus you can get some initial reviews and feedback for whatever that's worth.

Can your dad help out?

Dad is kind of cheap. I've asked before and he said no, but I can ask again.

PigletWiglet,
I hope you don't mind my interjection, but I've been reading your thread- I am so sorry you're going through this. May I suggest We The People? It's a legal document company that is relatively cheap and they walk you through the process of filing. They do divorce, trusts, wills, etc. I used them when I filed for a divorce (we later reconciled during the separation). They have locations in California, which you can lookup on line.

If that doesn't appeal to you, you could seek out the assistance of law students who often do the work pro bono or for a minimal fee. I'm not sure where in Cali you are, but you could search law schools in your general area.

Thanks guys--it's not the filing that is the issue--I actually have the paperwork ready, it's the custody negotiations and property negotiations. I need a lawyer because I refuse to talk directly to him.

Can your dad or your IM run the information back and forth?

If you can do that, then you could pay someone to just check over the final paperwork before filing and make sure you're not missing someone big.

Dr. Harley would encourage you to consult with an attorney.

You do not make decisions which affect your life without proper education and experience. Would you supervise a plumber on how to replace your toilet?
Or would you connect the Power Line to your house breaker box based on what an instructional booklet told you to do? One serious mistake and you could be killed!

Well, legal agreements, especially divorce court, can impact you for the rest of your life.
Don't go to a college student and ask them to do this work. They aren't even legally qualified to do so.
Don't buy a divorce kit from Staples office store and expect it to protect your rights.

You need to consult with an experienced licensed attorney for divorce and custody issues.

Agreed.

I am creatively brainstorming things to try to figure out how I can afford things. Worst case scenario-- credit cards. I would rather not go that route, but it's worth protecting my kid.

Is the husband working?

Mine? Yeah. I could try to get him to pay legal fees, I know. I will in the filing.

If he is working then you may be able to get some legal fees paid.
Schedule appointments with 5 lawyers for Tuesday and ask them if they will wait. Tell them your husband is gainfully employed.
The lawyer just wants to make sure he is going to be paid, since divorce often results in bankruptcy.

I am going to start interviewing some lawyers in OC next week.

In the meantime, I think we can get a parenting plan done with your current lawyers. He actually sent visitation dates through the end of the year, which indicates he isn't serious about moving. We can do that before I even file, I think. The next is property, of which we have little to speak of. He'll fight on child support.

On the child support, check with an attorney.
I live in ohio and agreed to no child support.
2 years later, I filed for it with the county welfare dept.

You can get if anytime in CA. Custody changes as circumstances change.

WH can whine about child support all he wants. He will be ordered to pay based on the state calculator. There is no fighting that. If there is little property, I also wouldn't spend a fortune on legal fees for that either. No point spending a dollar to save a nickel. Worst case, the judge will order an equitable division.

I wouldn't even negotiate with him on these things. CS is $X and he/you get Y or it goes before a judge...period. Most people spend the bulk of legal fees on negotiations. You already know he is going to whine and complain, so prepare an offer and if he doesn't agree, don't waste your time with lots of back and forth. If he wants some minor changes then it would be worth considering vs paying the same money to an attorney but no endless back and forth. Seek legal fees too. I would also ask for retroactive CS from the beginning of the year as well.

Since WH lives far, you should make sure that he is responsible for all airfare. He may be all gung ho about visitation now but more than likely he will get tired of paying airfare to fly down or paying for her to fly. At her age she can't fly alone anyway (and won't be able to for yrs) so put the onus on him to do all the work. The travel will get old so either he will move closer or forgo his visitation.

If you want to see the language in my decree, I can email it to you. You can ask the mods for my email address. My ex has to pay for our children's airfare and all flights must be non-stop and the unaccompanied minor fee is paid by him as well.

Or I can post parts of it in this thread later.

Companies like We The People have helped many people, and they are thorough and knowledgeable.
As for seeking out law school students for assistance, ever hire a plumber who brought along his apprentice and made him do all the work under supervision? Law students are not undergrads posing as attorneys. These are second- and third- year law school students who, under the supervision of their professors and advisors, are encouraged to assist their communities, whether working at legal aid clinics, battered women's shelters, retirement homes, the under-privileged populations, etc. to gain experience. These law students often belong to professional fraternities or clubs that offer mentorship and experience opportunities. Their work is checked before any filings are made. Don't knock this viable resource, especially when one is in a monetary bind.

Thanks BR. I will do that. He drives down to see her, but yes, it will get old.

He actually sent a visitation schedule that I was fine with, except for taking her for Easter. He requested Christmas this year to take her to Texas to see his family. I don't love that, but I am fine with it. We can trade of Christmas and Easter each year. He wants Halloween and I want Thanksgiving.

My only real concern is spousal support. Right now I am unemployed, so he would be paying me. HOWEVER, I did earn a lot more than him (about 30K more) and I am interviewing for positions around the same pay range or more. The worst case scenario is really that I would owe him spousal and he would owe me child support and they would basically cancel out (or he would owe me a little bit). And the period that he could get it is only 2.5 years since we have only been married 5 years. He'll be owing me child support for 15 years.

I will ask admins your your email BR.

I definitely think this is a great resource. I think I have a plan in mind. I will use my Alameda attorney as sparingly as I can at this point since we almost have a parenting plan in place. For the filing itself, I will use free/low cost resources to check the paperwork and just have my lawyer do a once-over. If it goes to court or anything like that, then I will explore getting an attorney in Orange County to represent me in court.