What does this mean? It's a Yes or No question Sir.

Sir, you need to focus on Plan B or you will never move forward in life.
Do you enjoy this way of living?
Your ex wife is an evil adulterous woman. WE all know this. I never needed a Facebook post to convince myself of that.

So you're suggesting she will never emerge from the fog?

This means I have had no free time to even think about anything other than work and the startup.

Have you contacted the man that offered to act as an IM for you?

Tonight, yes.

Plan B will not work. It will further destroy my life. I really don't think it will do anyone any good.

Sir, you need to try it before you judge it.
Contact Eureka and allow him to be your IM

Also, if you so go into Plan B (and I hope you do), block all Facebook users related to them or delete it entirely. Just totally cut them out. I made the same errors and it really drained the remaining love I had for my WH and made me more upset.

But you have free time to be looking at OM's facebook page and his kids too?

Plan B will not destroy your life. It will make your life better when you are not focusing on what WW is doing anymore. It will do YOU good which is what it is all about. You may not recover with WW, but you will recover YOURSELF. Don't you want to at least make a personal recovery and heal?

Did you get an IM? When will you be going to Plan B?

Quite the opposite.

This is an excuse plain and simple.

I was able to get into Plan B within less than a week after having my world rocked with dday 3, working full time and having two children that I was taking care of 100% on my own.

I was barely able to function, yet I was able to get into Plan B with help.

We are here to encourage posters to follow Dr Harley's advice, and we are not going to be able to help you with Plan Blindsided.

This statement shows jut how badly you really do NEED Plan B!

3 years of advice from posters wasted.
The venue changed, the M.O. is the same. You aren't here to work MB, you are here to blog, argue, and waste valuable time.

Good luck with that. Come back if you change your mind about using MB.

Seriously, the A will destroy your ability to experience a happy life not PB. PB also allows your thought process to be clearer and gives you the ability to make rational decisions (like you are being advised). You may understand that an A is going on right now, but you are in a denial fog that is barring recovery and your personal happiness. I am telling you this from present experience. I entered PB 12/11/14 and has brought me happiness and peace.

X2!

Let me tell you, my father did the same thing FOR YEARS. He was just miserable. He finally cut my mother off and is much happier now. You can't save her.

You can't save her. You can only save yourself. But you know that. It's your choice to do it. Staying in the pain is sometimes easier in a lot of ways. Lots of people do it--addicts, self-harmers, etc. But don't believe the lies that adultery places on the BS: you weren't good enough, you weren't enough. It's not true and it's never been true. That is why some of us choose to stay in the pain. We believe it. When you stop believing it, you'll choose to walk away.

It always bemuses me when people are scared of Plan B...

Will they miss being blatantly cheated on? The crazy conversations?

More time to parent, to have self care, to heal....these are not scary things!

Besides which the marriage recovery door stands open the whole time - in Plan C it slams shut.

Here, BSs.....Plan C is Not a Plan

It sounds to me that despite the affair and the divorce, you DO want to reconcile with your WW but she is unwilling to do it.

There's something I find lacking in your posts, you didn't exactly elaborate on the problems in your marriage that led your WW to seek fulfillment in another man?

I know that by carrying on affairs, she had been acting selfishly and unethically, but if you really want to revive this marriage, you must be seeing some qualities in her that you have not divulged to us.

If you are not willing to give up, you must work on being brutally honest about the marriage - what drove her to stop loving you?

Bear in mind that I may be biased, I felt tremendous suffering in my marriage, and even though neither of us have had affairs, my husband is completely clueless as to why I have grown to truly detest him.

He has no introspection, he can't empathize or place himself in my shoes to judge if he has been a fair and caring spouse, if he had withdrawn too much from the Love Bank throughout our marriage.

So it might help for you to be frank and upfront about what LBs you might have acted out for your WW to turn away from you?

I am not saying that you must have done her wrong, perhaps you didn't. But then perhaps you did, you should ask her for clarity and closure.