I am so confused and lost. I found my husband may have an affair with someone, even have this person stayed in our house while i was away from vacation.

my husband and i had dated for 8 years and married for 2.5 years. i recently discovered he often called off work while i was out of town. He lied to me where he was and what he did. there was item in our house disappeared,bottle of wine. and sometimes i smell perfume on his shirt and even in our bathroom. i started suspecting him bringing someone home. few weeks ago, i went on a cruise vacation with my family (he did not want to go with my family so he stayed home). when i came back i found he took off the day i went on cruise. from phone location record , i found that after he made sure i was out on the sea he went to a parking lot near our home and the day i came back he went to the same parking lot in the early morning, which is unusual because he is the type of person who do not get out of the door until 2 in the afternoon. i suspected that was the dropoff spot.

when i asked him where he had gone, he lied that he did not go anywhere, after i repeatedly questioned him, he lied again and said he went to buy food in the afternoon. then the next morning his phone password was changed and computer/tablet were locked.

After valentine's day i asked him if he still loved me, he became angry and raised his voice at me accusing me hurting his feeling by asking this question. then he derived the conversation to how i did not answer his calls the morning i came back from cruise. he even shed a few drops of tears.

i am very disgusted by the way he tried to steered away the conversation. last night, i could not sleep all night. I felt angry, sad, and lost. this person who i've known for more than 10 years, my first love, now has become a stranger to me.

i want to confront him but i have no hard evident that he is with someone. it will just makes me look like a crazy person. what should i do? i cannot control my emotions because i know i was lied to and probably cheated on.

Hi Anne, welcome to Marriage Builders. I would hire a PI to follow him for a couple of days. They can usually get all the information you need. When you get the evidence, come back here and we will help you with next steps.

Anne, I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I am sure some veterans from this site will be along shortly to advise you.

In the mean time, do not do anything. Do not confront your husband and do not tell him about this website.

I am not an expert to help you but I have read a lot of threads on here and I know you do not want to tip your hand to him in any way until you have a plan of action to kill the affair and save your marriage, which they will help you develop.

YES, unfortunately, it sounds 100% like he is having an affair. But for now, just act normal to him. Good luck to you.

Hi, Anne, Sorry you are in this situation. You will need to get hard evidence of the affair. The best way to get this is to hire a PI for a couple of days, as MelodyLane advised you. Don't ask him any more questions or act suspicious as your H will just drive his affair underground. Don't be angry or commit any love busters. But snoop, snoop, snoop until you get the evidence you need.

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