My husband and I have been Married over 5 years. Ours is a combined family. It started off like many others as a fairy tale. I walked in to where he worked and even though I thought I had changed in 19 years he still knew who I was. He later told me he had a crush onme all through school. we feel in love got married. Then the lies started or maybe they were already going on, I'm really not sure. He was put on pain meds. and quickly started abusing them. Each time I confronted him he would lie. We would fight (never physical) and he would promise to get help. He would hide the pills from me and say they never came in but I would know they had. He Broke the addiction by his self. I know this to be true. But the lying has never stopped. He for the past 2 months has lied about a loan he got to help his dad in a tight spot. When I found out about the loan he said he hadnt got a loan, someone must have stole his Identity. This lie went on for 2 months. he got behind on the payment and they called the house. this is how I found out but until yesterday I thought maybe someone had stolen his Identity. For years I have found out one lie or another, each time he promises to be the man I need and stop lying. I am at a breaking point. I told him we need cousleing and he said sure. I even sat with him and we read From the Marriage Builders site, I need to buy the books but cant afford to right now. Our youngest child has started telling some really bad lies that have gotten people in trouble. I told "S" (my husband) that if the kids see us lie then it only makes them think it is ok to lie. We have read The Love Bank together and I told S yesterday my Love Bank was empty. I dont want a divorce I want my marriage to work. I know there are other problems in our marriage and we need help in that area too but the lying seems to be the one thing I cant handle on my own. I really dont believe anything that comes out of his mouth. I need help. I want to trust him, I just cant.

Sad,& Broken

How do you know this to be true?

How did your previous marriages end?

There is no way to make him stop lying. If you prepare for a separation and follow through with it he may choose to do what it takes to keep you. If not, you will be better off.

I know the addiction is broken He is no longer getting the meds from the V.A. I was with him when he told the Dr. about his addiction and he told them he didn't want anymore pain meds. There were signs when he was taking the pills that he no longer displays. telling signs, no appetite, no sleep, lips with sores, excessive engery. He was told by the V.A. he has PTSD, and a few other things. I am very serious about saving my Marriage. I want to be happy. I have been listening to the Marriage Builders Radio not as often as I want but when I can. His previous marriage ended when he was overseas and his wife left him for another man. My previous marriage ended when My ex tried to run over me, followed me to my Moms and tried to shoot me! So we both have rough a rough past. I know I am not perfect, however I am forgiven. I Strive each day to be a better wife, Mother and all around person. I don't want to give up on my Husband. He has helped me in many ways. The Lying is destorying us. I know this forum is not going to save my marriage, but it seems a good place to start. I will continue to do everything I can to save my marriage, walking away is NOT an option