That's a really good way of putting it and is why Dr H encourages men to stick around. The WW isn't doesn't have the same predilection to cake eat, so it's OK to encourage it.

I couldn't do it myself, but there's no denying it works. We've seen BHs often win their wives back this way. Never seen a man succeed without a lengthy Plan A while it's always a disaster when women try it.

I think it's going very well here! Offensive of course, but effective.

That's a tough situation. I'm not sure i'd be willing to continue trying at that point.

I wonder if filing for D and seeking full custody (as she's abandoned her family) would be a wake up call? (and you don't have to go through with it... the filing might be a catalyst)

Note: I'm new here so take my advice with a huge grain of salt

No, it's a fair question and one of the toughest parts of MB to wrap your head around.

Dr H considers it every MBers right to file for divorce in the face of adultery and to cease contact. However this is likely to end the marriage if the betrayed spouse is a man. For men, he recommends the lengthiest Plan A they can do. Exposure and being tough on the affair, sure - but in all other respects to be as caring a spouse as possible.

Even quite seasoned vets were corrected recently when a BH was advised to kick out his wife while she was blatantly cheating. Dr H said not to do that, but allow her to remain in the home.

Here http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2794118

It does work for men, however when women try it it's a disaster. Men find it unattractive to be chased and are far more responsive to the 'wake up call' approach. Sometimes the Women successfully bust up their husband's affair but they lose all love for him (and become severely depressed).

Men don't. Their marriages thrive.

From what I've seen of general marriage problems on here, women always need men to take some sort of lead. Women need to be wooed and fought for - or they simply won't love the man.