CP, I am glad you found this place too. This will be a longshot because the affair has been going for so long. But you do have a chance if you can follow a plan. I want to give you another possible scenario because I don't want it to scare you if this happens. If you read the book Surviving an Affair, Dr Harley talks about the marriage of Jon and Sue. Sue left her husband for her affair and moved out of the house. Once that happened, the affair went into a free fall, as they usually do when reality intrudes.

So I don't want you to give up hope if she does move out and move in with this guy because it won't last. This affair has been propped up by secrecy and fantasy for years, which has kept it alive. So when you expose, that will inflict a major blow. However, it may take her moving out to completely kill it off. Just don't give up hope.

The couple in the book, Jon and Sue, are completely recovered today in a happy romantic marriage, by the way.

You are getting too happy too soon. The pilot can put in a transfer so he can still meet up with WW by working the same flights.

I remember a Flight Attendant was having an affair with a pilot. They both had enough seniority to get placed on the same choice flights. All of a sudden the pilot was now working a undesirable flight and told FA that he got bumped off. She was suspicious so did some detective work and found out he was now doing another younger FA with less seniority so he had was not bumped off the old flight but put in for the change because his new GF/FA could not get better flights.

Melody
I have read it and know their story. I don't think she would ever leave our children. The OM lives in another state. But she could move out and maybe initially that could be good? I think it may have to die one of those natural deaths so she will be able to move on. I think I might be looking at more of a John and Sue situation than the other couple. We will see.

Do companies have policies regarding extramarital affairs and safe guarding?

Some do and some don't. And I referred to the Jon and Sue story because I don't want you to get discouraged if she does move out. That is not the end. This will be harder to bust up because it is so entrenched, but it is certainly not impossible. I think exposure could really change the dynamic of the affair because it has thrived on secrecy for so long.

Do you think they have a plan to be together some day? What was the plan here? Do you know?

Road
She would have to change the airline she works for. This will cause a complete loss of seniority. (20 plus years worth) The higher seniority, the better flights, pay etc. A pilot would be taking a major setback if he left for another Airline. I know this is true for FA's but assume its similar for pilots.

Don't know the plan but I know the OM BS (soon divorced) told me she thinks they would have just kept us in the dark and continue on with their perfect life.

Whyohwhy, didn't the OM BS call you and tell you about the affair?? Did she have an explanation for that?

I have a bit of a dilemma. I know she has plans with the OM this weekend, she does not know I know. She keeps telling me how she had to move her flight to Friday, because it is helping me out in some way. I asked her to fly on Wednesday to Friday instead but she keeps insisting on the weekend. My plan was to EXPOSE Wednesday when She is working. I don't want her to go this weekend. Should I hold my ground? tell her I know about her plans? Or let it be for now? What should I do?

The OM BS apologized and felt sorry for not reaching me. She said she was so close so many times but worried it would complicate her own proceedings. (I am sure she never found MB web site) She wants to help me any way she can.

I would just go ahead and do it Wednesday and ruin her plans for the weekend. Do you have a safe, calm place you can go on Wednesday and conduct an all out strategic exposure?

Don't tell her you know about her plans, just add it to your exposure. Do you have plenty of evidence that you can send with your exposures? The most impactful exposures contact evidence. Best way to do that is set up one of those little free websites and upload all the evidence. Then you include a link in all your exposure emails. That way the cheaters can't deny it.

I do have my own business and office with everything I need. I plan on having 3-4 face to face meetings with her sister and a few close girlfriends. Her parents i will call (they are out of state)
Facebook, emails, Her work and also the OM. Anything I can dig up on him, especially the Work angle. If they know their SV's are watching them, that wold cause some problems. I do think they keep it secret while they are working.

I have legal documents where she is named as the other women in the OM's divorce. It also details and chronicles their affair.

I like your web sit idea. Is there any way this gets vindictive or over done?

If they live close by and you can complete this all in the same day, that would be fine. But I don't see how you can do all those face to faces in one day and get all your other exposures done.



WHOSE Facebook contacts? It should be the OM's. Do you have his Facebook contacts collected and saved to a safe place?


I would find the contact for their Human Resource department, a key VP and their supervisors using the workplace exposure letter on the exposure thread.

Have you read the exposure thread?

Can you post this on a website and send out a link to it?

No telling your wayward wife about the Marriage Builder books/site for now.
Just study and work the plan yourself.

(btw....I found out about my wayward after eight years of his affair with a coworker....I gave it MY all for my marriage to recover but it didn't)

You give it your all with the amazing Marriage Builder plans and you come out either with a recovered marriage or personally better as a human being as an outcome.

Oh no. You are just providing the facts. Having an affair and lying to your spouse is vindictive and overdone.

The instructions to set up this website can be found on my exposure thread.

Reading, -Thank you

Melody
I have a lot of work to do tomorrow.

Does the OM have a Facebook page? If so, I would go to it now and copy and paste all his contacts into a text doc for safekeeping. For your exposure, you will want to prioritize his contacts by family and then married couples and send them a private message. Instructions are on my exposure thread.