Super mom!

You call yourself super mom in one breath, and then apologize for him sexually assaulting your daughter.

You might be the foggiest person I've ever seen on here.

Wake up! God will guide you? What does He have to do? You've learned all this and still bed with evil. I will pray for you, and your grandchildren for when they become the next target. Good heavens, I can't even.

oh well, as long as he began to target her when you were seriously ill and she more vulnerable than ever that's all OK then.

Counselling for who? Up to your daughter surely to decide how to treat her trauma. You don't need it and I can't seriously think you are talking about your husband.

When are you calling the cops?

Your husband's quite an accomplished liar isn't he?

This isn't someone who just wandered into inappropriate feelings.

Look into the health story covering up his lack of erections and the co-worker story too.

I believe God is guiding you through this. He sent you here where experienced, knowledgeable people see your situation with clarity you do not have right now.

The question is - will you muster the strength to follow the advise you know to be correct or will you roll over for evil and betray your daughter because you feel weak and it's easier to rationalize and make excuses than confront reality?

and this may be why he was so nonchalant about a polygraph.

Wounded, you prayed for guidance weeks ago and have been guided straight to the truth of the matter when you could have easily been duped and betrayed yet again and subsequently betrayed your daughter again as well. you have the truth now. What guidance more do you need before you stand up and stop the cycle of wounding and start healing?

He was going to let you think this forever.

Schedule the danged polygraph already for goodness sake!!!

I still don't believe your alcoholic/addict daughter, but YOU can get the truth from your Husband, so DO IT, Once And For All.

Just because your daughter "Says" she has texts does not mean she actually has them.

I call BS on her not wanting to forward them to you. Anybody can create a fake Contact Name in their phone and "Say" the text is from So And So.

Also, it's pretty easy to send Spoof Texts.

Do the danged Polygraph and quit beating yourself up.

Your daughter previously REFUSED to take a polygraph when you asked her to.

Go look at her phone and YOU Forward those supposed texts to yourself..... IF she hasn't accidentally deleted them when you want to finally see them.

I DO NOT believe alcoholic addicts on ANYTHING!!!

LTL

Which is why they are the perfect targets for sexual assault.

So what is your plan?

You continue to guess and speculate without actually taking the steps to find out the truth. You know if he takes the polygraph you won't be able to maintain the denial.

Having him take a polygraph would be much less effort than all the denying, spinning and rationalizing. All of the mental masturbation in these posts could be spent facing the truth. And just think, he might even pass the test and save you the trouble of spinning, rationalizing and endless demonizing of your daughter.

I understand your daughter is satan incarnate, as described by you, but what if she is telling the truth? You aren't going to get that answer from spinning and rationalizing. You may very well settle this issue by having your husband go through a polygraph.

Also, you can retrieve your husbands text messages from his phone. You don't have to rely upon "Satana" for them.

All the more reason to actually FOLLOW THROUGH this time and actually have him TAKE the polygraph, Not Just SAY He will.

LTL

Exactly. A polygraph is the only way to remove all doubt.

First of all, I am in no way demonizing my daughter. I'm sorry if it is coming across that way - I'm just stating facts. My daughter has had serious issues for a LONG time. For YEARS her father and I tried to get help for her, but it's damn near impossible when she has never felt that she had problems. We did what we could. One therapist agreed that she had some anxiety and depression based on the questionnaire that she did agree to fill out, and what her father and I told him. He wanted to put her on some medication, she refused. Even as a minor, we could not force her take medication. The therapist told her father and I that legally we could not force her to take the medication, and we couldn't force her to talk to the therapist either. I love my daughter - she is my first-born, and more than anything in this world I want to see her happy and healthy - physically, mentally, and emotionally. But until SHE is ready to do what she needs to do and admit she has issues with drugs, alcohol, and depression, there is not a damn thing I can do for her. She watched her father battle the WORST, most EVIL disease on earth for 5 years, then she watched him give up even though she and her sister begged and pleaded for him not to, and a year later, he died while she and her sister ate lunch in the hospital cafeteria - it's no wonder she has issues. I'm not saying she's a horrible person - she's not - the drugs and alcohol she pumps into her system on a daily basis are the demons that have a hold of my daughter.

But all of you are right...I need to DO something about this. I'm a processor - it's something I learned in my first marriage. I had the horrible habit of reacting badly to every and any situation that made me angry, uncomfortable, hurt, etc. So I started processing...every scenario, every possible reaction that I could have, how people would react to my reactions. It's exhausting. But for some reason I can't stop doing it.

Wounded, Marriage Builders is about making and following a plan to solve your problems. We push people to follow plans here because we want to help them. We would not be your friends if we let you engage in endless hand-wringing about how bad you feel.

The kindest thing my Marriage Builders mentor, HerPapaBear, ever did for me was to repeatedly ask me "So what is your plan?" every time I told him what was happening to me.

So imagine that all of your good friends at Marriage Builders have come over, we are all in your living room, picking you up and insisting that you not sit here paralyzed but that instead you get to work and start solving this problem. You know we are your friends, right? If you will trust us and start ACTING instead of TALKING about how bad it is, soon it will not be that bad.

Let's start by getting the truth. Get on the horn and schedule that polygraph immediately.

We are not going to be enablers for you and let you do the hand-wringing thing. Let's get going, Wounded. You've already admitted you made a mistake. No sense whining about it. You have an opportunity now to repeat the mistake, or to get going on a plan this time. Time for Wounded to make a plan to not repeat being Wounded. Let's roll.

You don't need to know the reason, and you don't need to engage in endless analysis and hand-wringing about it.

Work the plan.

Have you found a polygrapher yet?

I understand your DD is an alcoholic. We already know that. More citations of her crimes will not change the situation. All of these posts citing a laundry list of her crimes are a distraction from the problem and make no sense. The issue at hand is whether or not your H has assaulted her. A polygraph should resolve that question.

What is with the new screen name?

Wounded, don't post about your feelings. Your feelings are going to be "I feel like crap." Instead, post about the PROGRESS you are making following the PLAN. If you will follow the PLAN eventually you will not feel like crap.

If you continue to post about your feelings instead of following the PLAN to get the TRUTH, we will hold your feet to the fire and remind you that you will continue to feel like CRAP until you work the PLAN and get the TRUTH.